BXBX NOVEL Chapter 86
Edited by Iris Sakura
Her slender shoulders trembled helplessly. Tears ran down Sezh’s pale cheeks, and a small sob escaped from her lips.
“Take it. It’s yours,” Raytan said while handing it over to Sezh.
What he brought out was a painting— a painting of Luna.
“Where…” Sezh cried. “This… Where did you get it…?”
“I asked a painter and then described Luna’s appearance one by one.”
Raytan had gone out as soon as the sun rose.
He had to search through all the streets to find someone who could finally make this painting. He then had to commission the painter with a lot of extra money.
Since the painter had never seen Luna in person, Raytan described Luna’s appearance in words bit by bit.
“This picture feels so real. And… she is smiling,” Sezh spoke while still crying.
Luna in the picture was smiling brightly. It was a smile that sparked endless love just by looking at it.
“In my memories, Luna was always smiling like that.”
“…”
“This was the way she always looked at you.”
During the years Raytan had known Luna, it had always been that way. Both of her eyes were always busy chasing after Sezh, and there was a warm smile on her lips.
Raytan wanted Sezh to know Luna was always happy during all of the time she spent with Sezh.
“Now you can remember it, right? Luna’s smiling face.”
“…Yes.”
Sezh’s hand was shaking a little as she touched the painting. Scared that it’ll get wrinkled, she couldn’t even hold it tightly.
While sitting next to her, Raytan observed the mesmerized Sezh. For the past few days, he didn’t know what to say to Sezh. He had never been comforted by anyone, nor he ever offered comfort to anyone.
So, at this moment, Raytan didn’t know what he was supposed to do. But, he wanted Sezh to be a little less sad. Raytan hesitated but eventually reached out to Sezh’s head. He fixed her tangled hair and stroked it. He then wiped away the tears that had soaked her face. Raytan wondered if her soft skin might get hurt if it’s stroked by his big, ugly hand, so he did it as softly as he could.
“It’s too small for a birthday present,” Raytan tucked a ruffled strand of Sezh’s hair behind her ear. “Tell me if you want anything else. Whatever it is, I will-“
“No,” Sezh shook her head. “This is enough..”
It wasn’t a lie. It was both the best birthday present and the most effective consolation Sezh has ever received.
Even if someone brought her any precious jewel, it would not be as valuable as the painting. Sezh sincerely thanked him from the bottom of her heart.
“Thank you so much, Brother.”
“…Okay,” Raytan replied softly.
He stared down at Sezh then gently pulled her lean body to lay her tiny head on his thigh.
“You better close your eyes a little bit, Sezh.”
“But then Brother will-“
“I won’t go. I’ll stay here by your side until you fall asleep.”
Instead of replying, Sezh gripped Raytan’s shirt.
Her hold left unpleasant wrinkles on his clothes, but that wasn’t what caught Raytan’s eyes. It was her small, soft hand that was still slightly trembling.
Raytan wished that he was a more warm type of person so that he could comfort her better.
However, he couldn’t think of any proper words to say. Instead, in a clumsy effort of comforting, Raytan slowly patted Sezh’s back.
‘Even if you feel lonely… It’s a better choice.’
He could hear his voice from the past. Raytan knew for sure that he had to draw a line.
Whatever the outcome, he knew that the more time they spent together, the more they would harm each other. However, Sezh stayed by his side too back then in the past.
She comforted him with clumsy words, and with her hands, she stopped his anxiety.
Even if there was nothing he could do for Sezh, Raytan wanted to be by her side. For this moment right now.
When the sun sets and the moon shines its light again, it’s also a sign for him to do something…
He had to do something he’d been procrastinating on: Killing Johan Franz. There have been many opportunities to get rid of him in the last few days. However, he didn’t want to come to Sezh with the smell of blood on him.
“Tomorrow… I can’t come.”
Sezh, who was lying down, froze. She looked up at Raytan while still clutching his clothes.
“Don’t skip meals because there is no one to take care of you. I will check on everything with your maid.”
“Do you… have something to do?”
Sezh had a hunch that if he successfully completed his work, another prestigious nobleman or member of the Imperial family would die.
“…It’s something you don’t have to think about,” Raytan looked away and answered in a low voice.
He would sometimes avoid her gaze like this. It was his habit. He does that every time he hears a question he doesn’t want to or can not answer.
“Brother, I…”
Sezh, who was about to say something, hesitated and bit her lips.
What should she say? Should she be honest? ‘I know everything. I know who the person who killed the nobles is.’ Or should she ask him whose life he is going to take this time? Or maybe ask, ‘Why are you doing such a thing?’
“I… I hope Brother doesn’t get hurt.”
Sincere words flowed out her lips at an unexpected time.
“And… I also don’t want you to feel sad or lonely.”
Sezh still remembered it clearly: What he said about the smell of blood, his cracking voice, and those empty red eyes.
She didn’t know what was going on and what Raytan’s actions were supposed to accomplish. Regardless, her words were earnest. Sezh hoped that he would never wear that kind of expression again.
Raytan gently caressed Sezh’s cheek.
“I hope you don’t cry,” His low voice creaked. “Because if you cry… I don’t know what to do.”
Sezh put her hand on top of Raytan’s, who was stroking her cheek.
“I told you already. I… I think this is enough.”
“…Alright,” Raytan replied. It was all he could say.
Raytan pulled out the blanket and arranged it to cover Sezh’s body so the cold wind wouldn’t seep into her.
***
When Sezh woke up, Raytan was nowhere to be seen.
Sezh recalled that she slept on Raytan’s thigh at the edge of the bed before. But when she opened her eyes, Sezh found herself lying at the center of the bed.
It seems that he left after confirming that she was sleeping deeply.
Sezh was still absentmindedly fiddling with the blanket that covered her body when she suddenly turned her gaze to the side table.
On the side table was the framed picture of Luna. Sezh reached out, picked it up, then held it in her arms. Luna and Raytan’s smiling faces flashed through her mind.
Sezh blinked slowly with an exhausted face.
“…I don’t know, Luna,” Sezh muttered to herself. “I don’t know what I can do and what I can prevent…”
The feeling of losing Luna was making Sezh feel helpless.
“Everything just feels… heavy.”
She couldn’t stop Luna’s death, and this is not the end. More terrible things were about to happen. No, it must be already happening in the place she didn’t know.
“The future… I really don’t know anything.”
What will happen if her mother kills Lady Lize? Will Raytan stage a coup again?
And also…
Sezh touched her neck.
‘It’s not just you, Sezh. I will kill all the blondes with blue eyes.’
The emotionless red eyes staring at her invaded Sezh’s mind.
‘I hope you don’t cry. Because if you cry… I don’t know what to do.’
Now, it is his soft gazes, the hand that gently patted her back, and his low cracking voice that took over her mind.
Sezh closed her eyes tightly. She rolled and kept changing her position to feel comfortable, but she felt so stuffy. Her eyes automatically went to the window.
Through the half-open window, the cold winter breeze was blowing.
‘Even if it’s wind, it’s quite…’
Is it a thief? Sezh, who had been blankly thinking, paused.
It was because someone’s shadow fell on the white curtain that swayed in the wind.
Sezh got up from her bed. Following that, with slow and cautious steps, she walked toward the window.
“Long time no see.”
A pair of red eyes that look just like Raytan’s, hair color that seemed to have gotten lighter as time passed…
“…Eton.”
“Hello, Sezh.”
Eton lightly smiled.