BXBX NOVEL Chapter 85
Edited by Iris Sakura
Luna finally went home.
At Raytan’s insistence, he was the one to politely escort Luna home, so there was nothing for Sezh to worry over. There was nothing else to do for Luna. Raytan did everything very carefully, and Sezh had cried so much now that she couldn’t even shed another tear.
“Princess, I will take Luna home in your place,” Kaen said.
Sezh gave Kaen a small pouch. That pouch contained Yerena’s jewels, which she had collected so far. Sezh also put in the remaining money from selling some of those jewels last time. She’d had it hidden to use the money for when she escaped the palace after reaching adulthood, but Sezh wanted to give it away now. Luna said that her younger sister had a child, so it seemed like Luna’s sister would need a good amount of money.
“Luna… This is the last gift she can give as a sister. I hope she will forgive me.”
Kaen nodded with tears in her eyes.
And Sezh… Sezh celebrated her 17th birthday alone.
***
It was her birthday, but Sezh didn’t feel any emotions. Usually, she would have been excited. She would have anticipated it very much. When it was her birthday, Luna would always made a ruckus. Sezh didn’t put much importance on her birthday, but seeing Luna like that made her ecstatic too.
But now, she wasn’t.
On this birthday, Yerena also did not come. And Lize, who took care of Sezh, was also not in a good state of health and was lying in her chambers. But it didn’t matter. Even if Yerena visited her or if Lize invited her to her palace, Sezh wouldn’t be happy at all.
What was so important? She doesn’t have Luna now.
“Princess, is there anything you want to do? If you want to get some air…”
After escorting Luna home, Kaen had returned to Sezh and was trying to improve her mood. Nevertheless, there was no response. Sezh was sitting on the bed with a blank expression on her face. Just like a doll. Sezh’s condition truly made Kaen worried.
Kaen knew it too. When she was a child, Sezh suffered from aphasia due to severe depression. No one knew how wonderful Luna was to Sezh during that time. No law said the same thing couldn’t happen again.
Kaen approached Sezh and gently asked, “If not … Would you like some cake?”
A delicious strawberry cake reflected in her vacant blue eyes.
“Of course, it will not taste as good as the one Luna made, but still…”
Kaen didn’t finish her words and only watched Sezh. Sezh looked at the cake with a pair of unfocused eyes, then parted her lips.
“…No, I will eat.”
“Princess….”
“Thank you, Kaen.”
“Please wait.”
Sezh hadn’t been giving her an answer, and she hadn’t eaten anything all day. Because of that, Kaen didn’t even know how grateful she was for that reply.
Kaen brought a tray of strawberry cake to Sezh. It was a carefully made cake; Sezh could tell at a glance. Its exterior was generously covered with fresh cream and even decorated with dried petals. And on the top of it, there was a massive strawberry.
‘I just want to eat cake with Luna.’
Sezh, who was picking un p the fork, stopped.
‘The cake that Luna makes is the best in the world. I really like it.’
‘I shouldn’t have said that,’ Sezh thought to herself.
“Princess? Do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?” Kaen asked worriedly.
“No… no. I’ll eat.”
Sezh slowly forked the cake to her mouth. It was tasty. Even if it was different from the cake Luna made, it was still delicious.
However, it didn’t interest her at all. The inside of her mouth felt like it was stuffy. It felt like she was chewing dry sand. In the end, Sezh couldn’t eat even a single piece and put down the fork.
“I’m sorry, Kaen… I’m not feeling well….”
“Princess…”
“I know you made it with great care, but I’m sorry….” Sezh bowed her head.
Kaen looked at Sezh with a painful expression.
“What do you mean by that? Please don’t worry, Princess. Then besides the cake… Would you like some food? You haven’t eaten anything today. I prepared a boiled soup that’s still warm. You’ll feel more comfortable,” Kaen said while pointing to the table.
“Later.”
“…”
“I will eat later. I want to… rest a little now. I’m really sorry,” Sezh’s voice was as low as it could be to say those last three words.
“…I understand. Please, get some rest. I will leave the food here, so if you need anything, call me right away.”
“Mm-hmm. Thanks, Kaen.” Sezh replied quietly.
***
The night deepened. Sezh sat on her bed like a broken thing. She silently sat and watched the setting sun until the moon rose.
She felt empty.
A cool winter breeze blew through the wide-open window, but she wasn’t cold at all. Within her lifeless blue eyes was reflected a curtain fluttering in the wind.
‘Princess! You’ve left the window open like this again.’
Soon, Sezh could see Luna’s figure lecturing her. As always, Luna shook her head and started nagging.
‘You know that you have a weak body. You will catch a cold again. You suffered a lot last winter.’
“…You’re right.”
Sezh’s eyes brimmed with tears.
“You’re… right.”
‘I already said it many times. Please be sure to keep the windows closed! I’m so very worried. My, my, Princess, what would you do without me?…’
Right.
‘What do I do now, Luna?’
The tears that had been pooling around her eyes were dripping down.
“…”
Sezh narrowed her eyes a little.
She saw a human shadow flicker through her teary, blurred vision. Someone was closing the window.
Just like Luna.
“…Open the window again.”
Raytan looked at Sezh and said, “It’s winter. You better keep it closed. Especially at night.”
“It’s suffocating here…” Sezh muttered quietly. “Leave it open.”
Raytan paused for a moment. He then opened the window back slightly. Following that, he approached Sezh then said something unexpected.
“Shall we go out, then? If you go out and get some air, you will feel better. Tell me any place you want to go.”
Sezh glanced at Raytan. Over the last few days, he had granted her such unconditional kindness. It was ironic. Again, only Raytan cared about Sezh’s sorrow.
Sezh parted her lips to speak in a small voice.
“Brother… Thank you.”
“What?”
“You’re worried about me.”
“Sounds stupid.”
“I know you care a lot. Thank you for that.”
She was sincere. If Raytan didn’t take care of her like this, Sezh would have been even more frustrated. Sezh couldn’t shake off her sadness, but Raytan still persistently tried to soothe it.
“If you feel thankful, eat this properly.”
Raytan picked up the tray on the table. The soup that Kaen served before remained untouched.
“But I’m not hungry…“
“You haven’t eaten anything all day. Do you think I wouldn’t know about that?”
When there was no reply, Raytan let out a soft sigh. Then, to her surprise, he picked up the spoon.
“Aah.”
“…”
“Hurry.”
Sezh, who couldn’t win at his persistent prompting, started to open her mouth.
The lukewarm soup entered her mouth, and Sezh swallowed it helplessly. After that, he repeated the action. Raytan fed her the soup until the bottom of the bowl was visible.
Raytan now looked like he was taking care of a baby. Seeing that, Sezh couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
“Why are you laughing?”
“You’re like Luna, Brother.”
“…”
“Luna used to feed me like this. Because of her worry that something big will happen if I miss even one meal.”
“She always did anything for you.”
“…Yes.”
‘She always made a fuss about everything.’
Raytan recalled Luna’s face when Sezh even had the tiniest of scratches. She would cause a racket. He carved a small smirk on his lips.
“I… ” Raytan continued by mumbling in a tiny voice, “…am the same.”
It was too small to reach Sezh’s ears.
Raytan put the empty bowl down on the floor and looked at Sezh again, “You look tired. Did you get some sleep?”
Sezh shook her head.
“I keep having nightmares.”
“What kind of nightmares?”
“It’s a nightmare where Luna gets hit by a carriage in front of me…”
“…”
“I’m trying to stop it… In the end, I still fail. Then I hold Luna’s body and cry.”
Raytan stared at Sezh without saying anything.
“I want to remember her smiling face… I don’t want anything besides that. So I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll only remember that last image that happened.”
Sezh’s head drooped down.
She was scared. She will continue to think about Luna from now on, but she’s scared she will always think about that incident again.
It wasn’t happening currently, but Sezh was afraid that someday the memory of Luna she remembered would be the last blood-soaked picture of her.
“Sezh,” Raytan called out her name softly.
“First of all, I originally wanted to visit you sooner… I’m sorry for coming late.”
“…”
“And happy birthday. I sincerely say this.”
After his unexpected birthday greeting, Raytan pulled something out from under his arm.
Sezh cautiously looked down at what he had held out. Then soon… she looked like she was about to cry.