BXBX NOVEL Chapter 190 - Can We Talk?
A fake full moon shone brightly on the 7th floor, basking the entire forest in its pale and melancholic light.
On top of the stone wall, Aito stared into the distance, his gaze hunting for any abnormalities that would signal the start of his uncommon quest.
Segolene had left his camp earlier, leaving the stage of his fight, observing everything from a distance where he could not see or sense her.
Aito kept dropping Soulcleaver down the trench at the foot of the wall, then called it back. A small game he found to canalize his anxiousness but also get more familiar with his new weapon.
The moderator had said his quest would start when the moon reached its highest point. With that as a reference, he had taken the time to craft bonfires all around his camp for lighting purposes. Then he had rested a little while, absorbing as many soul cores as he could.
He had carried two backpacks filled to the brim when leaving Krukhanon, now only one remained.
Aito had wanted to keep as many cores as possible for his comrades, but with his injured soul, he had made concessions and absorbed more than originally planned to heal himself faster.
After a little less than two days of almost no fighting—the orcs had been simple to deal with—a few of his previous capabilities has been restored.
His strength had gone back up to level 4, probably because it was the stat he was the most proficient in. Durability, originally at level 5 and previously leveled down to level 3, had also risen back to level 4.
It wasn\'t much, but it sure was a welcoming help and also a sign his soul was healing the right way.
However, he felt that his limits were higher than that, higher than they had been before he injured his soul. If Aito could, he would rest. But Life, sometimes, was a bitch and wouldn\'t let you do what\'s more beneficial for you.
Suddenly, while he tried to focus on the next ordeal, a familiar notification window popped up in front of him.
[Can we talk, Aito?]
He clicked his tongues, \'Now is not the time, goddess. I\'m about to face opponents that are possibly as dangerous, if not more dangerous than orcs. I need to concentrate. Talking with YOU will probably do the opposite.\'
[Please.]
Aito\'s jaw almost dropped as he read that word over and over again. It was just a simple word but there was more meaning behind it than an entire chapter of the online novels he used to read.
Truth be told, he was shocked.
[It will only take a minute. Moreover, I can feel that no enemy is nearby.]
Even in his dreams, he had never thought the goddess would actually "lower herself" to talk to a mortal as her equal. Because that\'s what this single word meant to Aito. To him, it meant she was ready to consider him her equal, her ally, and NOT a pawn.
Well, his doubts about her would not disappear that easily. However, it felt good in a way he could not explain, to be acknowledged by someone he loathed and hated.
Now that Aito thought about it, he had had a few "decent" conversations with her. Not great. Just decent.
Driven by curiosity and a possible sense of guilt from refusing her since she was lowering herself, Aito sighed deeply and said mentally, \'It\'s about Belmand, isn\'t it?\'
[Yes. I think you misunderstand him.]
\'No, quite the contrary. I think I understand him perfectly. My understanding of him can be summarized by one word " asshole." Period.\'
[And that\'s why I think you misunderstood him. I\'ve been married to this god for thousands of years. I know him more than anyone else. My memories might be incomplete but… I know. I just know he isn\'t the kind of god who would talk to mortals for just the pleasure of it. I—]
\'What do you mean? That he isn\'t an asshole but only plays one?\'
[That\'s… *sigh* a way to put it, I suppose. He thinks differently from the norms and helps others in… uncommon ways. What I\'m saying is, his mischievous, loathsome, easy-going character is in fact a facade. Maybe it is to keep his dignity, his pride as a god. Or maybe it is his way of helping you. I don\'t know for sure. I just…]
\'Believe in him,\' Aito completed her sentence. He felt weird about it. Valinar wasn\'t herself, not the goddess he had talked to. She was different. More approachable, sociable, comprehensive, but also… more human, more mortal. \'Still… what he did to me—\'
[Was to help you in his own way. I don\'t know what he is doing, but I\'m sure it\'ll be beneficial for you. It\'s just that… he can be frustrating.]
That last sentence made Aito crack a smile. He could feel Valinar had experienced Belmand\'s "assholeness" before maybe even played into his hands.
\'He can be very frustrating. So frustrating I want to kill him,\' Aito sighed, dropping his ax that kept whispering to him to kill something. \'I—\' he started.
[You\'ve been hurt, I understand,] Valinar interrupted, [I also know it\'s been hard on you. The revival. Your previous life. The constant death threats looming over you. It\'s not easy to deal with those things. Furthermore, I know that… I can be… unnerving.]
\'Hum, that\'s an understatement. Although,\' he paused, looking for the correct wording, \'I can\'t say my vision wasn\'t biased. I hate your kind. That\'s undeniable and will probably remain so. However, I do not entirely hate you.\'
[Aito I…]
\'I just don\'t like you.\'
[I guess that\'s better than hatred, haha.]
For the second time tonight, Aito was shocked. Did he read it right? Did Valinar actually laugh? He bit his lips to provoke pain and make sure it was real.
[We… started on the wrong foot, Aito. You do not trust me or any other god. That I understand now. I want to change that. I want you to trust me. As the goddess of bravery, trust is one of the values I praise most. Trust is earned, not commanded or bought. Therefore…, I will do my best from now on to support you. What you do with my support is up to you. After all, you\'ve made it this far without my help.]
It wasn\'t entirely true. He had not made it this far alone, but he played along. \'And in exchange? I suppose you want me to help you.\'
[No, I know you will not accept such terms. So all I ask is that you consider helping me. Just consider it. I\'m not forcing your hand.]
\'Nor can you force my hand, anyway,\' Aito pondered the offer. It was different but honest. It felt weird but genuine. He could feel that, for the first time, she was coming clean for some reason.
[Aito?]
\'You\'ve changed, Valinar,\' he said with a complicated face. One indicator of her change was the fact... \'You\'ve been calling me by my name until now. That only happened once or maybe twice, and you were furious those times.\'
[I figured it would be disrespectful to call you mortal from now on. I understand it can be… belittling. So… to establish a relationship of trust… if you don\'t mind…]
\'It\'s not so bad,\' he replied mentally. \'Personally, I think it\'s better this way. I will stick to your name from now on too, Valinar.\'
[*Nod*]
Weirdly enough, Aito felt a small weight lifted off his chest. It wasn\'t that he did not hate the gods any longer. It was more like… he came to terms with it and also that… he might have judged too quickly. Concerning Valinar at least. Aito was willing to give her a small, tiny, microscopic chance.
He didn\'t have much hope in it and would be ready for any betrayal. Aito knew she could be faking it, he knew she could be trying other means to use him.
But he also understood it would not hurt to try, to give her a chance for once.
His tensed muscles relaxed. The tension he felt eased up. Strangely, he felt calmer than before thanks to Valinar.
\'Well, it wasn\'t such a bad talk after all.\'
[Indeed, mort..., Aito,] she said, leaving an awkward blank she filled soon after. [There is something more I\'d like to talk about. It\'s the reason why you should not fight too much. Obviously, you will be forced to fight. But that\'s not the point.]
[I didn\'t want to talk to you about it before because it might cause you harm but… it might be inevitable. If the need arises, if your current strength isn\'t enough, you can ask your core for more power. Powers you have but you cannot yet control fully because your soul is injured.]
\'Yeah, I already figured that might be possible,\' Aito replied. He had previously felt that his own soul had put some kind of lock on his powers. It was impossible not to feel it. There was only one reason his core would do that to him, to protect him.
However, what would happen if he released that lock?
[In doing so, you would gain powers comparable to the weakest moderator in the Tower. Nothing would be able to stop you should you choose to unlock your potential. However… please be careful. In the best-case scenario, it will lengthen the time of your recovery. In the worst-case scenario… you could lose your powers or die. So please be careful and only use this if it\'s truly necessary.]
\'I…,\' Aito paused, looking for what felt right to say, \'Thanks. About what you asked before… I\'ll give it some thought. No promise.\'
[That\'s all I\'m aski—heads up. Something is coming.]
A single monstrous deformed howl resounded in the forest, giving birth to anxiety and responses. Soon, more dreadful howls pierced the night\'s veil in an unorganized manner.
As Aito stared into the forest\'s darkness, he felt it staring back at him like a beast circling his prey. He felt chills running down his spine, not because he was scared, but because he was thrilled.
"Come, come and have a taste of my…," he said, pausing to call back Soulcleaver he had dropped. He looked at it, trying to figure out what material it was made of.
[It\'s steel strengthened by a soul,] Valinar added.
Embarrassed, he ignored her, then resumed, "Come and have a taste of my ax."