BXBX NOVEL Chapter 492 - Giving Strength
"Nobody wants any of this to happen. But your baby is gone. Now, you have to take care of yourself," Tara doesn\'t know how to comfort Anya. She was pretty awkward herself and didn\'t know how to calm others.
Anya felt her heart ache, making it difficult for her to breathe. Her hand gripped her dress tightly and said with a pained face, "Tara, that kid must be blaming me. I am their mother, but I couldn\'t protect them..."
"No! Your child knows that you love them so much. He or she knows you were fighting your hardest to protect their life," Tara could only keep patting Anya\'s back. "Your child must be as good as you. And I\'m sure they can understand you."
"I really want to die. I feel guilty about not being a good mother. It\'s because I\'m too stupid. with Aiden beside me, I thought nothing could hurt me," Anya couldn\'t control herself and cried bitterly.
Losing a child was like stabbing a knife in her heart without pulling it out. It was very painful.
She couldn\'t blame Maria, she couldn\'t blame Aiden or anyone.
Anya blamed herself for not being able to protect her baby. She was the one who killed her child.
Tara felt that Anya was trapped in her thoughts and depression and was unable to come out.
She felt guilt, regret and blame herself.
When she entered Anya\'s room, Tara knew something was wrong with her attitude. Anya just sat quietly while staring at the window blankly.
Many cases of depression started with pessimism and self-blame. Anya even wanted to die to pay for her sin for not being able to protect her child.
Tara was really worried that Anya was so depressed decided to commit suicide.
"Anya, the one who abandoned the child was not you, but their father, grandfather and aunt. Why should you blame yourself? You have fought for them, you begged and even fought people who tried to harm you for the safety of your child. You\'ve done everything you can. This is not your fault! You are innocent!" Tara said while shaking Anya\'s body.
Suddenly, Anya stopped crying. She lifted her head and looked at Tara. "Am I innocent?"
"This is not your fault. This is someone else\'s fault. Don\'t punish yourself for the wrongs done by others," Tara said.
At that moment, a knock on the door was heard. Tara patted Anya\'s shoulder gently. "I will open the door. Don\'t cry anymore."
Tara opened the door and saw Nico standing in the corridor breathing hard.
"Fireflies... you were asking for them," he said from between his breaths. He gave the glass glass he was carrying. Inside the glass were several fireflies that emitted tiny lights.
Tara immediately raised her hand and gave Nico a thumbs up. "Good work. You can go home now."
"How is her condition?" As soon as Nico knew that Anya wasn\'t his aunt, he felt his throat choke every time he wanted to say the word \'aunty\'.
"I\'m trying to calm her down. I don\'t know if it works or not. Otherwise, she needs psychiatric help. She is depressed and wants to kill herself," Tara took a deep breath.
"What?!" Nico\'s eyes widened with surprise.
"I will go back. You need to go home," Tara didn\'t talk much to Nico. She didn\'t want to leave Anya alone for too long. "Anya, look at this."
Anya turned and saw the glass bottle in Tara\'s hand.
Tara turned off the room light and made the fireflies sparkle in the dark. Anya\'s eyes are fixated on them.
She put the bottle in Anya\'s hand. "Isn\'t this beautiful?" Tara asked.
"I heard that fireflies have a short life," Anya said in a low voice.
"Is it true? But throughout their life, they gave us something beautiful to remember. Do you know the firefly song? Fireflies, where are you going? Beautiful twinkling... Sparkling and shining... Like a star at night…" Tara sang a children\'s song.
Anya joined in muttering softly. "Fireflies, fly over here. To where I stopped first. Come here, come here. Perch on the palms of my hands…"
Anya slept while hugging the glass bottle all night. The little fireflies that glowed in the middle of the darkness seemed to give her strength.
After resting one night, Anya\'s eyes seemed to glow again, not as empty as the night before.
During breakfast, Anya could eat a little because Tara was accompanying her.
"Anya, I have to go back to the clinic after this. I can\'t accompany you to lunch," Tara said anxiously. "If you need anything, just tell me and I\'ll bring it up tonight."
"Can you get my stuff for me? I don\'t want to go back to that house," Anya said.
"Then, where will you live after being discharged from the hospital?" Tara felt her hands stiffen.
"I will go straight to the airport after being discharged from the hospital. I will meet my mother and then immediately go to France," it only took one night for Anya to determine the path she would take.
"I don\'t know if I can get your stuff, but I\'ll try. I\'ve learned a lot of stealing tricks from Nico," Tara said jokingly to break the awkward atmosphere.
Anya extended her hand and held Tara\'s hand. "Nico loves you very much. I feel that you two are very compatible. Don\'t let the problem that happened to me affect your relationship. You are you. You and I are not the same…"
Anya knew that when she saw her situation like this, Tara lost her confidence to be with Nico even more.
What happened to Anya didn\'t necessarily happen to Tara, but Tara was already scared.
"Anya, Nico knows the truth. He promised to tell me after you left Indonesia. I\'m not going to confuse you with this divorce issue. I will tell you as soon as I find out," Tara said as she returned Anya\'s hand.
Anya just nodded.
But actually she didn\'t care anymore.
She had been trying to find out long enough. It had been quite a struggle to find out that reason.
Now, it\'s no use anymore…
After breakfast, Tara returned to her clinic, leaving Anya alone in the room.
Anya closed her eyes, but she couldn\'t sleep. She couldn\'t rest. She couldn\'t stop thinking about her child.
"Anya ..." Aiden\'s hoarse voice came from the front door. "Sorry, can I talk to you for a moment…?"
"I don\'t want to meet anyone from the Atmajaya Family, especially you. I will never forgive you. My child is not here. It\'s all over. We have nothing to talk about anymore," Anya said.
Her voice sounded very flat as if her love for Aiden had died along with the lost of the child in her womb.
"It\'s okay if you hate me. I just hope you can live in peace and find your own happiness after leaving me," Aiden whispered.
"Aiden, my child is gone. Are you relieved now? Do you think I will use that kid to sue you for money? Or use that child to interfere with your life?" Anya asked.