BXBX NOVEL Chapter 93 - Pretend Not To Care
Wei Xiameng\'s voice trembled ever so slightly. "W—What?"
Jiang Jinyan felt amused as to how she kept on pretending not to understand. The last bit of affection nurtured for almost two years inside his heart dissipated completely at this moment. He just felt like he must be blind to date such a woman.
"I thought you wanted me to see how you show off your relationship in front of the hospital."
Wei Xiameng rebuked shrilly. "Nonsense! Qing Si was just dropping me off—" She choked on her words, evidently remembering one event in the evening that was out of the norm. It was the first time that Qing Si blatantly displayed his affection to her. All these times, they were in an ambiguous relationship, slightly more intimate than usual friends. The man also knew that Wei Xiameng had a boyfriend thus his behavior had been restrained, courteous and gentlemanly. There was only one time…only one time when…
"Have you recalled it?" Jiang Jinyan casually fiddled with the remote control and changed the channel of the TV back and forth. His behavior couldn\'t be more leisurely.
"I…No," She stammered. "W—We were just friends at that time."
"Wei Xiameng." Jiang Jinyan cut her off. The deep and firm tone stunned her. "We already knew each other for years. Why pretend anymore?"
Why pretend anymore…
Wei Xiameng took a deep breath and felt her heart ache as if she was getting a heart attack. "Jiang Jinyan! Are you a man or not?! How can you—How can you say it like that?!" She stumbled on her words, sniffling. "Isn\'t it all because of you? Ever since you got into the accident, you\'ve changed totally. You would never be this harsh to me in the past! I never cheated you, bastard! I tried to be sensible, seeing that you\'re so pitiful, I couldn\'t bring myself to bring it up to you. I don\'t want you to think that I am heartless, that I will dump my boyfriend after he turns into a waste. I tried to endure by myself but you never understood me…only Qing Si…only he stood by my side…"
Jiang Jinyan listened to the first half of her rumble with half lidded eyes. But when she got into the second half, his expression chilled abruptly. Dark glints flashed through his eyes as his cold voice sounded. "I never asked you to pity me, Wei Xiameng. I don\'t need anyone\'s pity. Not in the past, not now and not in the future. Keep the charity to yourself."
"You—"
"Is that all you want to say?" He asked irritably. "If so, then I will hang up. In the future, if we cross paths, please pretend that we don\'t know each other. You said that I never understood you. I guess it\'s the same, you have never truly known me either. Goodbye." He hung up directly and blacklisted Wei Xiameng\'s number.
Even then, Jiang Jinyan\'s chest felt like it was burning with smothering lava.
Seeing that you\'re so pitiful, I couldn\'t bring myself to bring it to you…
I don\'t want you to think that I am heartless, that I will dump my boyfriend after he turns into a waste…
Jiang Jinyan gripped the remote control so hard until his knuckles turned white, then something inside his mind snapped and he hurled it forward, smashing the TV in front of him. The 32 inch thin TV swayed backward due to the momentum but didn\'t crash to the floor because of the wall behind it. A crack appeared in the center of the screen but the newscaster was still speaking passionately.
The flames in his chest felt like it was going to swallow him whole. It caused his head to go blank and his blood roaring with only a pure, unaltered madness left. "Who\'s a waste?! Who\'s a fucking waste?!" It wasn\'t enough to smash the TV, he flipped the low table until it was overturned.
His eyes were red with fury and veins bulge out of his forehead.
The living room instantly turned into a mess. Only the soft voice coming from the TV and Jiang Jinyan\'s harsh breathing could be heard. He slumped into the sofa, feeling like strength had seeped out of his body until there was nothing left.
It wasn\'t worth it. She wasn\'t worthy of him getting angry. He said to himself. But still, he couldn\'t bring himself not to care. The doctors and nurses sympathetic gazes, the various public opinions that condemned him, the eyes of people who looked at him strangely along the street and finally, Wei Xiameng\'s words…
Jiang Jinyan told himself that he shouldn\'t care but it turned out he had overestimated himself.
He cared. He cared about what people said about him.
He chose to uninstall Weib8 because he was scared to see the comments under his post. He chose to flee from the hospital because he was scared that the reporters would find out his whereabouts. He chose to block Wei Xiameng because he was scared to hear what she was going to say…
He was scared, thus the only thing he could do was to pretend that he didn\'t care.
He didn\'t want to admit that he had become a waste just like she said but the artificial leg that sat coldly by his side was akin to a prick that stabbed through the thin illusion that he tried to create just to keep his defenses.
His phone rang. The soft, twinkling melody of piano accompanied by the melancholic drizzle of rain echoed throughout the room. Jiang Jinyan buried his face into his palm, shoulders slouched, giving no reaction whatsoever toward the phone call. Even though he perfectly knew that this was the ringtone he had set specially for Jiang Huocheng.
However at this moment, he couldn\'t make sure that he could converse calmly with him.
He couldn\'t make sure that he wouldn\'t curse, vent and throw a childish tantrum toward this family member of his who was never here for him. Thus, the phone rang until it was disconnected. But then, not five seconds later, it rang again. It repeated two more times until the other side of the phone gave up.
Silence hung across the room. No more incoming calls.
Everyone was like this. They would show some concern at first but then, when he didn\'t reciprocate, they would give up on him. Wei Xiameng was like this. Jiang Huocheng was like this too. Everyone would be like this without fail.
In the hard cocoon with thorny shells that enveloped him, one or two people would knock, trying to probe and beguile him to come out, but then, everyone would be scared of getting hurt by his thorn and leave. Everyone would, eventually. He was doomed to stay in the dark. Left behind. Abandoned.
Amidst the myriad of negativity surrounding him, the intermittent voice of the newscaster floated into his ears.
"…City A\'s hospital has been surrounded by reporters since last night. All of it can be contributed by an anonymous post that had instantly gone viral on a slightly unknown forum. Allegedly, the post has been suppressed by Weib8\'s management directors, but the popularity can\'t keep it from being spread by people throughout the internet. Right at this moment, the anonymous post has been reposted 700.000 times and has sent itself to the government\'s concern. The public is pressing the police to give out an official notice. Is it really true that the serial killer has been hiding inside the hospital all these times?"
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A/N: Jiang Jinyan\'s ringtone for Jiang Huocheng: The Scent of Rain by Big Rice Piano.. You all should search it up on YT and hear it QAQ Big Rice Piano is one of my favorite pianist all the time.