BXBX NOVEL Chapter 76 - You Can't Lie To Yourself
Iria Alewine's face was just calm. Though their conversation last night repeatedly echoed in her ears, she acted indifferently. Taking things emotional will only hurt both of them.
After the two women get changed and wore some dry clothes, they returned to the camp along with the Crown Prince and the General. Throughout their way back, it was quiet and the atmosphere was stiff.
Once in a while, Hanson Lorin would exchange glances with Lady Vienna, wondering what happened between the Crown Prince and Crown Princess. Being stuck in such a situation, they felt somewhat awkward and uncomfortable yet they didn't utter anything.
They reached the camp after almost an hour and Commander Iria immediately entered her tent. She thought that the Crown Prince will be busy again but she was taken aback when he followed her in.
"You aren't busy anymore?" she asked as she slightly raised a brow.
"Other things can wait," Arin responded. "I want to talk with you."
Iria Alewine understood that it was about last night and she squeezed her dress. She didn't know why the chat was making her nervous.
Maybe she didn't have the confidence.
"Is there still something to say? I don't -"
"I told you before that I'm not a secretive person. I only refrain from saying useless things but... I'm always honest. That's what I am," Arin suddenly spoke up and caused Iria to shut her mouth.
"So, I can't concentrate if something still lingers. I'm the type of person who always needs closure and I hate uncertainty," he added.
His firm yet sincere words rendered Iria speechless!
Did he mean that he was adamant to see an end to this matter?!
It's a huge problem.
"Then what do you want to say?" she asked, curious.
Did she really make the perfect Crown Prince lost concentration? Was she even capable of that?
"I want to apologize."
Hearing the unexpected response, Iria Alewine blinked in surprise. Apologize? What for?
Maybe he succeeded in reading her again. He continued by saying, "I'm sorry for feigning ignorance all this time. I did that because I thought you would feel uncomfortable if I ask you about it."
Though he didn't know why, he was convinced that there must be a reason why she wanted to hide her archery skills. After spending more than a month with her, he realized that she was smart despite her calm demeanor. She won't do things without a good reason.
He still chose to trust her and that put Iria Alewine in a daze.
Arin Helev was the most intelligent young man she had ever met and... shouldn't he already know that she was suspicious?
What's wrong with him?
While she was thinking of this, the Crown Prince's next words shook her and she felt troubled than ever.
"You're special to me. I don't want to waver just because of this and... I don't want my days to be filled with doubt either."
"Don't you still understand?" The words escaped her lips before she could even realize. Then she met his gaze - calm yet sincere. It only made her felt the pressure more. "You should distance yourself from me unless you want to get hurt."
She made a deliberate paused before she said, "I'm not someone who is capable of loving you."
He still maintained that calm demeanor and she felt helpless. For the first time, she wished to know what he had on mind! However...
"You can say anything you want, Iria. But you can't lie to yourself."
"..."
The Commander's face turned pale in the blink of an eye! What did he just say?
Iria Alewine quickly took a look at her own heart. She realized that the walls she built in order to not let anyone in were close to crumbling! The walls were already weakened by the holes that were drilled from the exterior, slowly yet continuously.
Then she realized one thing. He was telling the truth!
The realization made the Commander's eyes grew wide! Did she really liked the Crown Prince of Qalagon?! All of a sudden, one thing invaded her whole body.
Fear. That feeling again.
When Arin Helev noticed the drastic change in her expression, he was instantly filled with concern. Having no idea of the things that crossed her mind, he took a step towards her. "Is something wrong?"
His action triggered her fear even more and she unconsciously took a step back. Seeing this, the Crown Prince felt a stinging pain in his heart.
Iria Alewine looked at his face and slowly shook her head. "Stop," she muttered. "Don't make me feel this way anymore."
If he continued, she was afraid that she would go crazy! Why did this happen to her? This wasn't a part of the plan!
"Iria -"
"Please," she uttered and turned her head away. "Let's stop here."
She felt like her head and heart were about to explode! She can't take it anymore.
Arin Helev quietly stood still for a while before he finally nodded. "I understand. You should have some rest."
He observed her with concern but there was nothing he could do. What would he possibly do? He didn't know why she suddenly acted so strange!
The long-running silence in the tent was finally broken when a soldier came and informed the Crown Prince that the King had asked for him. Then Arin left with the soldier.
Iria Alewine blankly stared at the floor before she abruptly sat on one chair. She developed feelings for the Qalagon Crown Prince? She, the Masked Commander did that?!
What should never happen was happening yet she felt lost. What should she do in this situation?!
Her thoughts troubled her too much to the point where she was feeling suffocated! Convincing herself that she must clear her mind, she wore a cloak and walked out of the tent in a hurry.....