BXBX NOVEL Chapter 300 First Date (6)
Listening to his story until now, Li Caiyi felt like she could finally see a glimpse of Dai Zhiqiang\'s side he had been trying to hide until now. He looked like an impenetrable fortress, but he was actually insecure inside.
What happened with his mother traumatized him so severely that he projected it on every woman he had met. He tried to keep his distance from them and created a safe space for himself. As long as he didn\'t acknowledge their existence, they couldn\'t hurt him.
\'He is the same as me,\' Li Caiyi lamented inwardly.
If it weren\'t for her friends, who gave her confidence, and Shao Jingfei, who encouraged her to pursue her dream, she probably wouldn\'t have the courage to go out of her bubble.
"Zhiqiang, that\'s not true. While there may be many things I can\'t share with you, I\'ll never leave you behind without words like that."
Dai Zhiqiang let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I know that. I\'m sorry, I don\'t know what has gotten into me. Forget what I just said. I know you are not the same as my mother."
Li Caiyi couldn\'t come up with any response. Sensing her discomfort, Dai Zhiqiang continued.
"In her letter, it said that she found happiness in other places, and she wanted to chase that happiness. My father refused to talk about it even now. I have a hunch of what kind of \'happiness\' she talked about." He snorted sinisterly.
Even Li Caiyi had an idea of what was happening, let alone a clever child-like Dai Zhiqiang. From the bottom of her heart, she felt sympathetic for what he had been going through. It reminded her a lot of her family\'s situation.
"After my mother left the house, my father often came home late. Perhaps he blamed himself for her unhappiness and forced himself to work harder, which led to his current health. It pained me every time I looked at my father, who suffered a lot at the expense of my mother\'s happiness."
Li Caiyi reached out to cup his hand with hers, trying to transfer her energy to him that way. Dai Zhiqiang\'s tone was considerably softened after that.
"Thank you, Caiyi. I know blaming someone won\'t make my father regain his original health again, but it sometimes feels unfair."
"I understand. You don\'t have to reason with me, and just say anything you have in mind now."
"My view of women plummeted to the bottom line. I can\'t relate to them, and I don\'t even want to bother. That is, until I met you, of course."
Li Caiyi let out a small smile. "I\'m glad you think that way of me. Even now, I still don\'t understand what you see in me."
"You are weak but strong. Gentle, but firm. You can\'t hide anything because your face will reveal it all. And I like to know your weak and strong sides. If I have to say it in one word, I love your genuineness towards everything."
Never in her life did she ever hear such compliments. There was nothing but sincerity and gratefulness in his tone, as though meeting him was one of the best things that ever happened in his life. It was flattering as much as it made her nose sour.
If this was his genuine feeling, it probably wouldn\'t be surprising if he still held some feelings for her even after years had passed.
[I have someone I like].
[My biggest regret is that I didn\'t hold her hand properly at that time].
Although she had forgotten a few things about Shen Qiang, these two lines remained in her mind. She did not know before, but looking at how fast he fell for her then, wouldn\'t it be more reasonable if Li Caiyi was that person he liked?
There was no way to know for sure, but she had a strong feeling that perhaps her encounter with Shen Qiang that day was really fateful.
Dai Zhiqiang recognized her at first glance. He didn\'t tell her his original name because he was worried she would recognize him.
Everything made so much sense now. He kept pushing her away even when he was on the verge of letting go of everything. He was prepared to be remembered as someone else until the bitter end. It was a lonely and saddening thought.
Li Caiyi swallowed many words she wanted to tell, restraining herself from giving him a tight hug to calm him down, and opted to squeeze his hand tighter instead.
"Thank you for thinking that way about me. If only I could describe how much I like you, too. As a writer, I always fail to deliver the words that should be delivered. I\'m more pathetic than you think."
Dai Zhiqiang looked at her intensely. "Did something happen to you, too? I think I often catch you looking depressed. I\'m always watching you from the librarian\'s desk, so I can tell when you are having a bad day."
"Haha, you even notice such things? It\'s embarrassing." Li Caiyi scratched the back of her head awkwardly.
"But you are right, something happened to me too, in the past. Long, long past."
Dai Zhiqiang couldn\'t guess the meaning behind her meaningful smile and quietly listened as she told him about her family and about the side of her he didn\'t know of.
Li Caiyi cut most of the explanation because it would take too long to explain. When she finished, Dai Zhiqiang heaved a sigh.
"Is that why? You are wandering around at night, under the rain that day?"
Li Caiyi nodded. "I didn\'t know what to do then, but I wanted to meet you."
"It must have been hard. You have done well, Caiyi. Now you can live for yourself. Good for you."
"En. That\'s why I believe the same thing will happen to you." Li Caiyi smiled.
She didn\'t want to make the atmosphere awkward because of her sappy story, so she rose from her seat. "Shall we go now, then? To the hospital."