BXBX NOVEL Chapter 71 I'm Not Okay
"So… what happened? Can you tell me?" asked Michael gently. Suddenly his wife was acting like this and something must have happened.
Sarah didn\'t answer and lowered her head, feeling a little embarrassed by what she had done earlier.
Especially when she saw that the chest on Michael\'s clothes was wet because she was crying like a child.
So embarrassing!
Suddenly Sarah felt a hand touch her cheek, then wiped the remnants of her tears. The hand felt big and warm.
"Stop crying, okay? I don\'t know what happened to you… but everything will be fine," Michael said, bending slightly so he could see Sarah\'s face.
His soft and soothing voice, his warm hand on her cheek, and the look in his eyes that looked at her with concern, made Sarah feel something strange inside of her.
She felt like a weak, helpless woman, and wanted to tell the trouble that had happened to the man in front of her.
"I… I can\'t…"
Michael tried his best to sharpen his hearing because Sarah\'s voice was so low he could barely hear it.
"I can\'t stop the bleeding… she…" Sarah\'s tears, which had stopped before, just came out as she recalled what had happened.
The woman on her operating table kept bleeding and she couldn\'t stop the bleeding.
"That woman died Michael… and I have to tell her son who is waiting outside that her mother has died, that…"
Sarah could feel her face touching something wet, it was the clothes Michael was wearing.
She didn\'t know since when, Michael had pulled her back into his arms.
"It\'s okay... it\'s okay..." Michael said, patting Sarah\'s back.
Now it all made sense why Sarah was acting like this. The woman had just gone through something bad, really bad, and all Michael could do now was hug his wife.
Meanwhile Sarah was crying again, spilling all her tears and sorrow in Michael\'s arms.
***
Sarah lay in bed blankly and looked exhausted, but she couldn\'t sleep.
Not long after, Michael came to join her after changing his clothes because they were wet with Sarah\'s tears.
"Wifey, are you okay?" Michael asked, looking at Sarah. One of his hands then came close to her face and smoothed Sarah\'s hair that touched her cheek.
"No, I\'m not okay," Sarah replied in a tired voice.
Sarah herself didn\'t know why she could say that she is not okay right now.
When her colleagues asked her if she was okay, Sarah always replied that she was fine with a look on her face that looked fine.
But when Michael asked her how she was, for some reason she wanted to say that she wasn\'t all right.
Did it turn out that she had unknowingly become closer to Michael? Or is she used to saying that to the man who was once her husband?
Michael just put on a faint smile when hearing that. Felt so stupid to have to ask that question. Of course his wife is not fine!
"You can tell me, if it makes you feel better. I\'ll listen," Michael said softly.
Sarah was silent hearing this, before finally opening her lips and telling what happened.
When she arrived at the hospital, there was a female patient who was seriously injured in a traffic accident and needed urgent surgery.
The woman came with a little boy, it was her child. According to the boy, the two of them were running away from home, so they were driving at this hour.
The patient\'s condition was severe enough, but Sarah did her best to save the woman when she saw the boy. In her heart, she would not let the child lose his mother.
However… she could not stop the bleeding, and the woman had to die, on her operating table.
This was the second patient to die on her operating table, and it didn\'t get any better. She was upset, and sad. Feeling so useless.
What hit her even more was that when she had to tell the boy about his mother, one of her fellow doctors who was her assistant offered to tell it when he saw Sarah\'s face.
But… Sarah tried to tell the boy herself.
The boy looked confused when he heard Sarah\'s explanation, he was only seven years old and did not understand what Sarah was explaining.
"Where\'s my mommy? I want to see her. We have to go before daddy comes."
Sarah\'s heart seemed to be sliced open when she heard that innocent question, but she tried to hold back her tears and look professional.
Even after the boy cried and beat her, Sarah tried to hold back the tears.
"That must have been really hard for you," Michael said, then wiped the tears that had flowed back down Sarah\'s face and pulled his wife into his arms.
Michael had no idea Sarah had to go through that. If he had known this was going to happen, he would have stopped Sarah from going to the hospital.
He knew he sounded very selfish, but he couldn\'t stand seeing his wife in pain like this.
Meanwhile Sarah was crying again in Michael\'s arms. It seemed like being in Michael\'s arms made Sarah feel weak, the hug could protect her so she could cry as much as she could.
***
Sarah slowly let go of Michael\'s arms, she couldn\'t sleep at all.
After wiping the tears from her face, Sarah looked at Michael\'s sleeping face.
It seemed the man was also tired of dealing with her and ended up falling asleep.
Sarah then recalled the incident once again, she would not be able to forget that woman\'s name for the rest of her life. The woman she had let down.
Sarah\'s mind then went back to what happened in the bathroom earlier, she felt that her hands still had blood and needed to be cleaned immediately, but she didn\'t expect that Michael would come in and… calm her down.
When she first lost her patient, she had no one. She just went to her apartment, and just sat on the bed with a blank stare.
She didn\'t even cry.
It took her a few days to feel normal.
But tonight… she felt a little better.
There was someone who hugged her, comforted her, and listened to her story.
And that person is now sleeping in front of her, her ex-husband.
She knew that she didn\'t have to think like this to expect that she would experience something like this again.
But… It would definitely be very comforting if Michael was by her side.
"What am I just thinking about?" Sarah thought as she sensed that she had thought of something she shouldn\'t have been thinking about.
During this time she felt comfortable with Michael, they were hugging, kissing, and doing activities together. However, Sarah still remembered that this was all a ruse and she still hated her ex-husband.
Well… although not as resentful as the first time she met Michael because that man touched her heart a lot.
But tonight, for the first time, Sarah wished that she wanted to continue like this, with Michael.
"This is so crazy. What was I just thinking? Why do I suddenly want to kiss him?" Sarah thought as she covered her lips with her hand when she saw Michael\'s sleeping face.
For some reason, her eyes focused on the man\'s lips.
But the feeling only got stronger because Sarah didn\'t try to turn around.
Slowly, Sarah moved forward, her face getting closer and closer to Michael\'s.
She knew that she would regret this, but for now, Sarah wanted to touch those lips with hers.
After a brief peck on Michael\'s lips, Sarah immediately returned to her position and slept with her back to Michael.
Her face felt hot and her chest was beating like crazy.
Meanwhile, Michael\'s face, which used to look calm, subconsciously formed a smile on his lips.
At first he was asleep, but suddenly he felt movement from Sarah, it seemed his subconscious was still worried about his wife so when there was a slight movement, he immediately woke up.
Who knows his wife will do something extreme or dangerous again.
However, he was very surprised when he saw Sarah\'s face look so close to his, and suddenly he felt something soft touch his lips.
Michael decided to pretend he was still asleep, a little curious as to what his wife would do.
However, he had to swallow his disappointment when Sarah did nothing and went back to sleep.
Even so, Michael was still happy, not expecting Sarah to actually kiss him while he was asleep.
Is this the first time she\'s done it? Or did Sarah often do this?
"Calm yourself, Michael! She\'s just going through something bad! It is not time for that!" Michael thought, trying not to get on top of Sarah and kiss her back.
***
"Good morning! You should have slept more," said Michael when he saw Sarah who had just come down.
Sarah looked away, not daring to look at Michael.
"Oh yeah, you didn\'t go to work today, did you? Let\'s get ready!"
Sarah looked at Michael in confusion.
"We\'re going on a date!"