BXBX NOVEL Chapter 186 - THIS TIME, IT WAS GOING TO BE ALL ABOUT HER!
Tinsley roamed around the painting shop, finding that mixture of crimson and baby pink paint.
Her trolley was full of white canvases, brushes, paints, cardboard, pins and whatnot.
She just needed to find that one colour and then could go back home, resting for a bit, only to start working in an hour later.
These days, she had been so tired. Her feet, her waist, her chest, all felt so heavy and sore.
Although, these conditions were common during this time of the month while you were carrying a child.
She looked down to rub her bulged out tummy, happily. Regardless, of all the hardships and all the tiredness, she felt content and sighed finding peace in her present state.
"Mommy loves you, baby girl!"
She just knew it was a girl, growing in her.
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Driving back from the office, Tinsley felt all sorts of emotions but one of them being, finally looking forward to starting anew and afresh.
She was going to take Madi\'s advice. Follow her suggestion and for real this time was not going to hold herself back.
Enough! She had enough of everything! Had enough of Love! Being stomped over in the name of love...
As the door flung open, Madi and Lana turned over to see Tinsley and she ran up to Madi...jumping in for a tight hug, letting out the wails of pain and ache that she had been holding for so long throughout the driveway and in his office.
Madi knew what had happened. She did not need her words to know everything. Lana came forward and patted Tinsley\'s back.
That was how it looked, sounded like...when a relationship broke apart. The other two women hugged the poor soul, afraid, scared that they would not have to go through that.
After a while, Tin had finally stopped crying. Her nose was red, her eyes were swollen and she felt her insides hot and cold at the same time.
Madi bought the papers that she had been holding up to give her. She swiped the envelope containing the paperwork over to her through the table.
Tinsley licked her lips and picked up the envelope, nervously. She felt like she knew what kind of papers could be residing in the envelope, yet she tore the front open and took the papers out.
A small gasp left her mouth, as the DIVORCE AGREEMENT, in bold, block letters were imprinted upon the paper.
"It is what you need to start over...cutting all the ties that hold you back for so long!"
Madi commented and even though Lana was not really sure that a divorce was the way to go for it...she kept holding hands with Madi, as she gave advice to Tin.
"I know this all is so much to take in...it had been a month, Tin. He is not coming back to you...it is official!"
And a sob left Tinsley\'s mouth. She knew that...she had come to realize that by now.
It had been one month since she last show him...since that confrontation they had in his office.
She did not know why she had waited for him in Madi\'s house...maybe ending it all in her head seemed so easy than being done in real life.
It was the hardest step, the hardest thing to do to break all ties with the only man you had ever loved and start over again...perhaps maybe that was why her mother stayed back?
"Last time, I checked he was on his island in the Maldives with Thea...he is not coming back and you should not waste away your life for a handsome, stupid asshole, Tin..."
Madi said, getting up from her seat and walking over to Tin\'s place. She held her hands in hers, rubbing the back.
"He had you, he chose to let you go...do not wait for such a man...hate him for what he had led you through...you can\'t be thankful to him for one good thing he did to you, saving you out of all the hardships, and mental pain, he had led you through..."
Tin closed her eyes and all she saw in that flash was them in the sea, looking into each other\'s eyes in their honeymoon as huge waves hit the shore.
She opened her eyes up, quickly. It was all in her head. They were right...it was...it always had been all in her head.
There was no love...there was no bond, the connection of souls...there was none such a thing.
She had made it up. She had worked her mind up to make and believe in love and be in love with the only boy, who had played with her.
As she ran around the field, as a child, screaming, jumping, he was watching her from the corner, later joining her.
She thought that he must have been intending to play with her all along but it might have been the noises, she had been making that drew him to her...he did not come of his own will.
With not much, having to leave with, and not much to think about, she gave in.
There was no way she could try and keep their marriage when he, himself was over it and did not want to even look at her anymore.
She took the pen that Madi had offered and signed of her name under her name blank.
It did not take much longer for her to leave this damp city either. She had the help of Madi and Lana and her brother, John.
It took her oy two days to leave and then start over newly in San Francisco all over with a life that she had never lived before...being alone and all by herself.
Lana had a model studio apartment there which she had rented out to Tins even when at first, she was sceptical to take it after being in debt of their help so many times, yet at last, she went for it because settling in a brand new city was difficult.
More difficult when all your life, you had never lived by yourself. So she was glad at last with all the help she was getting in settling down.
The house had an attached kitchen with a living room, a not so fancy bedroom to the left with a small closet and a very tiny bathroom with no bathtub in it.
Tin had no problem with that. The house had been freshly stocked by Lana as she ordered her assistant to for a month.
At first, when she had landed in the state of California, she was so nervous and scared and confused if she had made all the wrong decisions and that there was no turning back anymore even if she wanted to.
A taxi had been booked for her and it took her to her new address and she was glad to have a friendly neighbourhood at least.
The old woman from next door had welcomed her with a pie the very next hour after she had entered her new home.
She ate that pie for dinner, alone on the mini dining table of four. After which she had a brief talk on face time with Madi and Lana.
She spent the evening, settling in, unpacking her clothes...there were only a few of them.
She had left all of it in her husband...by now ex\'s big house as she wondered. She had asked Madi to return her wedding ring to him when she would also hand him the divorce papers.
She had left everything behind...a life...a whole life, the only life she ever knew and to start one, a new one she had never dreamt or thought about.
Never in her life, did she ever think or dream of having a life alone, all by herself either. It had never occurred to her. Her life was so planned and disciplined.
But in the end, it all turned into a mess. A beautiful, sadistic, tragic mess. She loved some of it, regretted some of it.
But it did not matter anymore as she had been given another chance at life and this time, she was going to make it all about herself.
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