BXBX NOVEL Chapter 314 - Love Is A B*tch!
*Zella Day - East of Eden *
A/N: Read author\'s note at the end. Important for next chapter.
***
"And… you want me to repay you with my body?" Raven asked, her voice but a faint whisper. As she finished, her cheeks were completely flushed red. Even her neck and up towards her earlobe were slowly taking a hint of the same shy red.
"Hehe, that would be extremely helpful and would most likely relieve my pain *cough* *cough*" Maya said with a few more coughs. "Don\'t tell me you\'re not willing…"
"But you didn\'t ever hear me apologize…" Raven tried changing the subject. "You don\'t know what I did… Maya, I didn\'t kill the girl that killed you… I haven\'t avenged you. Instead, I took care of her and-"
"Shush!" Maya quickly interrupted. "I don\'t care about apologies! Apologies don\'t ease my pain *cough*.
"You know what does ease pain though? You. Rave, I want you… everything about you… every little part of you…"
Raven\'s face was dyed red but her gaze was unyielding. "Maya… I\'ve always thought of you as my-"
"Don\'t say it!" Maya warned in a serious tone. "I was never your sister. You made that up in your mind. Didn\'t I always tell you that I loved you?
"I was willing to be with you when you were Draven, and I was still willing to be. With you after you turned into Raven. Is that not enough?
"Do you just think of me as the weak girl that needs your protection?" As she finished, Maya\'s silver eyes were almost glowing with a white glow from the blood flowing through them. Tears were sparkling through them like beautiful stars.
"Raven, throughout my entire life, I have never loved someone other than you. Can\'t you give it to me? If not as Maya, then as Raphael, the fourth Seraph of the Seraphim of the End!
"Maya was but an episode of my many episodes of life. But you know what, you were the anchor that made that episode my new and true self…"
Hearing that, Raven only stared down at her feet, not daring to make eye contact. Normally, such a thing would have been impossible for her to do, but now she was inexplicably feeling weak and exposed...
Previously, she had always tried her best to think of Maya as her little sister, but that was never truly the case; they don\'t share blood, nor were they born in the same house.
Although she has always tried to prevent herself from thinking about her in a more passionate way, deep inside her, Raven knew that the reason she never dared fall for Maya was not because she didn\'t like her, but rather because of the confusion about her identity.
In the past, Raven had saved Maya and become her hero and saviour. That\'s why Raven had always assumed that Maya had loved her for that reason, and not for her true self. Thinking about it in that way has always made it easier for Raven to suppress her own feelings.
But now that Maya has regained her memories and her countless years of experience, Raven\'s excuse has clearly become invalid.
That means that right now, her heart was urging her to accept! She knew that all she had to do was simply nod, and Maya would take care of everything.
However, she was afraid. Or rather, she was terrified...
"Are you that interested in my body?" Raven asked quietly. She understood Maya\'s point and even her own. But she still could not let her guard down; it\'s just the way she\'s lived her life wasn\'t that simple...
Right now, she was struggling not to fall into Maya\'s embrace. But at the same time, her fear urged her to look for an alternative or at least buy herself some time.
*Sigh*
"Your body?" Maya asked with a deep sigh, appearing almost heartbroken. But a moment later, she grinned in a devilish manner. "Hehe, you got it wrong. I am not just interested in your body, but rather everything about you.
"Rave, I want you. All that\'s part of you, including your strengths and weaknesses, your twisted personalities that you never let anyone witness, your beautiful and passionate self… I want them all. Haven\'t I made it clear already?"
Raven was flabbergasted at her response and didn\'t know how to deal with her. However, her heart could not help but warm up to her words. \'Damn those hormones…\'
"Isn\'t that just being possessive?" Raven asked, trying to buy some time again, hoping that something or someone would save her not from Maya, but her own rampant emotions and fears.
"So what?" Maya answered bluntly as she tilted her head in confusion. "I want you to be mine, but in return, I\'ll be all yours. Isn\'t that a fair deal?"
"Hm, I guess so… but, am I not too young for you…?" Raven asked without thinking much about her words. Only after finishing did she understand what she had just said and her face paled.
"Courting death?" Maya \'smiled\', causing Raven to shiver and force a smile.
*Sigh*
"Rave, don\'t overcomplicate things," she suddenly got serious, her face filled with genuine concern. "Do you think I haven\'t noticed how protective of your body you are?
"On Earth, myself, you, and Maria, used to always be together. We even slept in the same bed, ate on the same table, and fought the same battles… or that\'s what I thought…
"Although I didn\'t notice, as Maya, back then, I am very aware of everything now…
"Your insecurities and secrets, your cautiousness. Even when you tried to convince yourself that you loved us and trusted us unconditionally, you never really did, right?"
Hearing that, Raven\'s body shook. "Maya-"
"Please bear with me here," she interrupted her. "Although I am aware of how harsh this sounds, it\'s the truth and you know it in your heart; you\'ve never truly opened yourself for us, have you?
"But with that being said, I never blamed you, nor will I ever do. I understand the things you went through and how much you have suffered…
"I understand that it\'s really hard to trust after being betrayed, especially when it comes from someone as close to you as your own father…"
Raven\'s body shook once more, but this time she didn\'t dare speak. Maya was aware of how much akin to torture this was for Raven, but she knew that she had to go through with it, for her own good.
"But don\'t you see, I am just like you, Rave," she continued. "I find it really hard to fully trust anyone… other than you.
"And now that I have my memories, it\'s even harder to really love or surrender myself to anyone. But do you know why I can\'t help but fall for you?"
Raven slowly shook her head. She genuinely didn\'t. Maya, no. Raphael who has lived countless years and experienced things that Raven can\'t even imagine… Why would someone so great be so good to her?
Wasn\'t she just someone she met on a random cycle of her many Life Cycles?
"Hehe, I don\'t know either." Maya grinned even though her eyes still sparkled with tears, surprising Raven. "I told you, you\'re the first I have ever loved. It\'s just like they say, \'love is a b*tch\'!
"But with that aside, I feel- I really feel that if you let me take care of you… it- it\'ll help both of us…
"I can\'t really explain it, but I know it for sure… Think of it as facing your fears, or a line that you need to cross..." She said in a calm tone but she appeared as though she was pleading. "Will you believe in me, Rave?"
Saying that, Maya didn\'t try to make another move from that point onwards. She simply waited for Raven\'s response.
To her, Raven was the most precious existence and she didn\'t want her to feel pressured to go through something she would regret later.
With that being said, not only did she really love her and wanted to be with her through everything the world could muster against them, she also genuinely felt that it would be good for the two of them if they can get together.
It wasn\'t only that she needed Raven, but also Raven needed her! Raven\'s history made it hard for her to trust anyone. Heck, she can\'t even share true feelings with her own family and friends. Maya doubted she could even share true feelings with her own self!
This problem has countless hidden dangers and would most likely lead to a thorough breakdown eventually. And needless to say, that was a result Maya didn\'t want to even think about!
Raven, who was across from her, had a complicated expression over her face. Her body was shivering as if she was in the coldest of dark forests, in desperate need of warmth.
Out of habit, she even tried asking Kayla for help. But to her surprise, the latter didn\'t say a single word.
After some hesitation, Raven\'s shaking body stopped and her face seemed determined.
She has made up her mind!
Getting closer to Maya, her face was burning red all the way up to her earlobes and down towards her slender neck.
Approaching Maya\'s ear, Raven\'s quivering lips muttered a few words in a soft whisper.
Hearing her soft words, even Maya\'s face suddenly stiffened before burning with a bright white as blood flooded her cheeks. She was both surprised and delighted as if he had just heard the most precious melody!
Her eyes brightened and her sly, yet extremely alluring, smile returned to her face. "If a barrier is what you want, then a barrier I shall give you!"
With a wave of her hand, a silver barrier surrounded the two of them, preventing any prying eyes from witnessing the heavenly scene that is soon to be taking place inside....