BXBX NOVEL Chapter 765 - Self-Fear
Chapter 765: Self-Fear
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
Sonia was at a complete loss.
She didn’t know what Rhode did to make everyone see her as a dog which she couldn’t even seek help. Her screams were just barks in others’ ears and no matter what she did, she was just behaving like a pet. She felt unprecedented despair like this world had abandoned her. Her determined will had faltered.
However, this wasn’t what she was most terrified of.
She wasn’t afraid of Rhode treating her like a real pet, others turning a blind eye to her, or she was lying on the ground like a dog. Instead... she felt that her views slowly changed.
As a noblewoman who had well upbringing since birth, she had never exposed her body to anyone. To Sonia, her body was the most precious and sacred asset that she would only present to her beloved man and not to be admired by anyone like a wild animal. However, as time passed, she felt that her views changed. Every time one gazed at her, she felt embarrassed and furious. But, apart from this, she also sensed that her deepest fears and anger had faded while an unprecedented thrill and comfort overwhelmed her. She walked the streets in her naked self, but no one knew the truth. This mysterious sensation became stronger like a mischievous child who enjoyed the thrill from stealing even though the stolen item meant nothing to him. The guilt from not being captured turned into feeling of happiness and excitement. She knew that this wasn’t right, but the excitement from not being punished was as though a poison eroding her soul.
As a noblewoman, she definitely couldn’t behave in such a shameful manner like a naked dog with four limbs on the floor and swaying its hips. If this illusion weren’t present, perhaps her most private area would be seen clearly by everyone. When that happened, how would she be treated by others? Perhaps she would be insulted and despised as a woman who was more lecherous, perverted, and unscrupulous then the pub strippers and street prostitutes.
Sonia trembled to this thought, but the thrill that spurred under the fear of being captured and punished struck her. She laid naked before the men, women, elders, and children. There were also lower class people like the farmers, artisans, and mercenaries. If they knew that a wealthy young noblewoman crawled before them like a dog, how would they react?
This train of thought became stronger in her mind. From the start, there was only fear. But now, it had subconsciously turned into a fantasy. She gazed at everyone and instinctively imagined their reactions if this illusion suddenly vanished. She gritted her teeth and no one knew if she was holding back or soaking in the enjoyment of this terrifying scenario.
“How does it feel, Miss Sonia?”
“Huh?!”
Sonia shivered and was dragged back to reality. Just a few moments ago, she was imagining herself being dragged into the dark alley and humiliated by a group of thugs. However, the more she thought about such a scene, the more vivid her sinful innermost feelings became. She looked up and all she saw was Rhode’s ridiculing eyes as though he knew what was going through her mind.
Oh gosh. What was I thinking? How can I possibly think about that?! What kind of expression did I have? Has he discovered it? But...
This young lady sure is bizarre.
Rhode twitched his brows. He was a veteran in the playing field of females and naturally held a huge understanding about them and their unique interests. For example, Canary loved the ‘shame’ play because the sense of release from taboos was the perfect way for a top student like her to relax herself. Rhode realized that Sonia was much more exaggerated. He thought that the humiliation would shatter her pride after taking her out on a stroll and it would be the first step to make her obey him. However, he didn’t expect that her ‘qualities’ exceeded his expectations. After the initial anger and terror, she became almost totally immersed in the thrills of her fanatical humiliations.
It seems like my judgment is right. This young lady is a pure masochist!
“I didn’t expect that a noblewoman from the Country of Light to have such an interest. How perverted.”
“W-What are you talking about!! Rubbish! It is all because you brought me out and...”
“In other words, everything is my fault?”
“Isn’t that the case?”
Sonia blew her top to Rhode’s innocent question.
“If it weren’t for you, why would I face such a treatment! You’re a sick, cruel, evil pervert! Loser! Scum! Noble’s disgrace! Barbarian! Don’t think that this matter will end just like this! I will make sure you’re regretful for treating me this way! You look just like a woman, but you’re so sick! Utterly disgusting!”
“Oh...”
Rhode nodded as though he didn’t mind. Then, he scratched his ear and looked at her with a taunting smile.
“... I didn’t expect you to crave a punishment this badly, Miss Sonia. It seems like you’re enjoying it.”
“You...!”
Sonia sulked and even though Rhode spoke softly, she felt his words piercing her chest like razor-sharp daggers which forced her back. After reprimanding him, a trace of doubt emerged inside her—how will he punish me?
No, it could also be said that she was anticipating. What will this man do to me next?
This tiny thought that hid safely in her thick spiritual shell was slashed and shattered by Rhode’s words that transformed into razor-sharp blades.
“I’m not...”
“I don’t want to listen to your cr*p.”
Rhode interrupted and gazed curiously at the young lady. Then, he squinted between her legs.
“Hmm, how about this... Miss Sonia. I want you to do it yourself...”
Rhode gestured.
“You should understand what I mean. You shouldn’t be unfamiliar about it for a young lady of your age. It’s also fine if you aren’t willing to. I will tie you here and you can do whatever you want. But let me tell you this. The illusion potion only lasts for a day. As soon as it strikes midnight, you will... poof and return to a human.”
“...”
Sonia bit her lips because she knew what Rhode was referring to. But... here?
Sonia looked around. They were in the middle of a plaza. After the war ended, the residents had returned to the fortress city and the unfrequented plaza was filled with people again. Lively music and clamors could be heard from behind the trees and shrubs. But... do that sort of thing here?
She wouldn’t have even considered if it was her in the past. But this time, she didn’t resist and insult him. Instead, she pondered for a few moments and gritted her teeth.
“I will do it...”
Rhode squinted and his eyes glinted in a dazzling, ice-cold radiance.
As a young lady yearning for love, she naturally had beautiful dreams of being in love with her Prince Charming and fulfilling her needs. But she did so when she was alone and in private. Now, she sat on the stone bench, widened her legs according to Rhode’s instruction, and behaved so humiliatingly. Although others would simply see her as a pet dog on the stone bench, she couldn’t help but tremble to Rhode’s razor-sharp gaze.
“...”
She ignored the man before her and focused on caressing herself while shame brought on a strong thrill to her. Shortly after, the warm sensation engulfed her entirety. She bit her lips, breathed hastily, and touched her sensitive areas. The surging happiness crashed into her barrier of rationales.
“Mmm...”
Sonia shivered and her fingers moved quicker.
No one—not even Andre—knew about her doing such a thing in private. Her most embarrassing side was exposed in public.
Do I have the right to be liked by Andre?
Tears welled up in her eyes, but shortly after, this harsh, self-abuse mental torture and sweet, sinful pleasure once again emerged.
I’m no longer a pure woman. I don’t have the right to be seen by Andre. I didn’t come here for this... Why? Andre... Don’t look at me. My body is filthy. I can sense that the man is looking at me like a toy... Andre! I hope you can rescue me. But, am I still worthy of your rescue now?! Andre!!
“Mm.. Ahhhh....!”
Sonia yelled inwardly at her beloved man’s name. She lifted her head, but all she saw was Rhode’s ice-cold, pitch-black eyes that were filled with mockeries and penetrated her soul. She had reached her peak. Her fingers moved increasingly quicker and finally, she erupted entirely.
“Don’t look at me... Don’t look at me... Don’t...!”
A burst of spasms overtook her body and all her strength was zapped away entirely. She laid lifelessly on the stone bench while a translucent liquid spurted from between her legs. She looked at the azure sky blankly and her eyes were a complete gray. Embarrassment, anger, and self-blame flooded her heart, but sweet sin and delight also germinated.
At this moment, Rhode’s chilly voice rang in her ears.
“Well done, Miss Sonia. It’s time to head back now.”
Andre... I’m sorry...
Sonia shut her eyes and said inwardly in remorse.