晚上睡不着看点害羞的连接

Chapter 51 - ENIGMATIC MAN

The accident that befell me changed the course of my life and I suddenly found my memories lost. But in the process of retrieving them, I stumbled upon the truth and I found the most significant piece of my life that solved the puzzle together.

When I allowed myself to become Beatrix Crawford, I knew that moment my life made the wrong turn at the right decision. My life will never be the same again.

I was here lying on the Queen Size bed, lost in the sea of thoughts, pondering what had been my dreams last night. It must be the effect of the wound inflicted in my head that I failed to recall the tiniest details of any of my dreams—and if I could recall a slight memory of them—it would usually be a short, quick, and a hazy display of confusing images that could provide little to no help at all.

Just like the dream that has woke me up today—I failed to retrieve them too. Just as when I thought it's within my reach, it drifted out of my reach to an impossible place. Everything faded into a thick mass of grey smoke denying me access to the memory of my past.

The streak of sunshine permeating the Venetian blind made a beeline straight to warm my cheeks. When I snapped my eyes open, I was momentarily blinded by the sudden assault of light that made my eyes flutter close.

The sound of birds chirping reached my ears and groaned at the realization I forgot to close the window last night. Those chirping creatures are now racing outside my window. The sound of them could have become music to my dreams if it weren't for the sudden nagging emptiness that had woken me up this morning.

Things I do not know, won't hurt me. I consoled myself. Maybe things are far better without my memories since I wasn't quite sure what secret it held inside Pandora's box.

I shook the negative thoughts off my head with a quick morning prayer, thanking the Lord for never forgetting to extend my life.

I eased myself from the bed and started to tidy it up while my little angel was still sound asleep, and I still have the time to fold the blanket and place it above the pillows which I neatly stacked on the headboard.

It was still early in the morning, I realized as I stole a glance at the grandfather clock, and saw the time. Seven O'clock. It was still early but then I'd always been an early riser.

I didn't go downstairs yet. Faith was still asleep and I didn't want to interrupt her. Besides, I want to spoil myself watching her sleep, it gives me maternal satisfaction. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her crib closer until I could rest my elbows on its rails.

I just sat there watching the rise and fall of her chest. I could stare at her forever and not feel tired at all. Elisa had been right in her remark, Faith doesn't look a bit like me. I did try to avoid thinking about it before since it would only bring me stress but I couldn't run away from the truth forever. Faith has a father and it couldn't be denied that she inherited her facial features from him.

If he was still alive is such a mystery to me. I don't have any idea if we're even on good terms or if he's even aware of Faith's existence. But then logic told me if he was concerned about me missing then he should have searched for me. But during the duration of my stay here in Cordova, there's no report of a missing person which made me lose all hopes. A husband doesn't care for me or he simply didn't exist at all.

What I'm sure of was the long, nagging emptiness that made my heart hollow with longing. I'm happy with my new life now, god knows how almost perfect my life seems now. However, despite the things falling perfectly into place, I felt I'm missing something in my life. The more I think of it the more it becomes impossibly hard to fathom.

Knock! Knock!

My thoughts were scattered by the sudden sound. I could almost imagine the bubbles floating in the air and I could almost hear the popping sound it made as it burst before it could wander far away.

I hastily moved to the door and pulled it open. I beamed instantly after seeing Clarissa Crawford at the door?"Good morning grandmama."?I greeted her with warmth in which she replied ''Good morning Beatrix' with a generous smile on her lips.

"I assume Faith's still asleep?"

"She is grandmama. I expect her to be sound asleep at this hour. She'd been awake the whole night."

Clarissa gave me a sympathetic smile. "I understand. If you're hungry just come downstairs and eat breakfast with us, one of your brothers will babysit Faith so you could regain your strength." The last remark made her eyes twinkle with mirth. I suddenly remember what my youngest brother told me last time. 'You look exactly like Clarissa—our grandmother—but hopefully, you won't be as strict as her. She sometimes suspends my allowance when I refuse to follow her orders.' This must be what he meant.

When Clarissa went downstairs I pushed the door closed. I'm still not feeling hungry. Maybe I'll go downstairs when I'm starving.

I didn't immediately return to the bed. Instead, I searched for the remote control, found it on the cabinet, and turned the wide tv screen on after taking my spot on the bed.

The morning news was on air at the moment but I wasn't interested to watch the news at this hour because it might ruin my mood. It was very common for women to become moody and emotional over the simplest matter after giving birth. And as much as I want to listen to the news, I should steer clear of something that could trigger conflicting emotions in me.

Surprisingly, despite any channel I turn to, the same news coverage flashes on the tv screen. It was some sort of press conference—a very important one— about to take place. I finally gave up, and dropped the remote control on my side, allowing the news to play in the background just as it announced that the press conference had started.

The slight whisper of movement tore my attention away from the flat tv screen. When my gaze landed back on the crib, I realized Faith was now awake. She's now eagerly flailing her arms to me.

Faith's exquisite blue eyes were staring intently at me with wonder. I can't help but get lost while staring at the depths of her beautiful blue eyes—it's as if I was staring straight into the horizon of a fathomless ocean.

"I guess you look like your Daddy Faith Vienne. But sadly, mama can't find where your Daddy is. I can't even remember what he looked like. But gazing at you now he must be as?drop-dead gorgeous as Ben Affleck who broke my heart while watching Pearl Harbor."

The last remark made Faith giggle as if I've said something funny. But of course, it was a coincidence. She must have seen the smile tugging the corners of my lips and it was what made her smile.

The CEO of Greyson Group Of Companies finally dropped the bomb that turned our whole world upside down. The illustrious billionaire slash renowned racer finally aired his announcement. He was officially signing off as the CEO of the company the Greyson Enterprise.

"Greyson…" I trailed. The name rings a bell to me and surprisingly leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

I stopped on my tracks, shocked by my uncontrolled response from the name mentioned. I shifted my prying eyes to the tv screen and caught in time to see as the camera focused on the man. It took me a moment to realize that my fingers were trembling while my heart pounded hard inside my chest

Shock froze me when a pair of exquisite ocean blue eyes stared right from the tv screen. His eyes penetrated my gaze as if he was reading my darkest, deepest secret.

Those eyes…. It was damn familiar to me… And so the sudden rush of emotion that unexpectedly made my chest tight. I swear I have seen those deeply penetrating ocean blue eyes before and once felt its hot gaze upon my skin too.

I couldn't be mistaken!

I didn't expect the pain to come and when it did, the piercing pain that invaded my chest caught me off guard and drew the tears on the corner of my eyes.

Painful…. It's so damn painful…. Just staring at those perfectly chiseled features almost made me weep in anguish for an unexplainable reason.

I closed my eyes, my fingers flew to my chest where a hand was painfully squeezing my heart into a pulp.

Who you really are? Why do you have such profound effects on me that no amount of words could be able to describe?

Despite the pain, my tear-stricken eyes continue to stare at him while doing my best to recall a particular memory. But none of my efforts sow its reward. Sadly, it's as if a part of my memory totally blocked his existence.