晚上睡不着看点害羞的连接

Chapter 4:PAINFUL

"Mom?" Panic rose into my throat upon hearing no reply for the second time. A forceful blow hit me when I saw the bed empty. I died inside.

"Honey?" A frail voice whispered from the single sofa and I ran to her and wrapped her tight into my arms.? I feared that this must be the last time I? would be able to hug her that I clung to her so tight like a fearful child who found her mother after losing her way.

Relief washed over me.? "Honey,? you're going to suffocate me." Mom complained with laughter. I set her free as color returned on my cheeks and kissed her balding head with tenderness.

I almost passed out from fear after I thought she finally stopped fighting her stage three cancer. She's the only one I've got now after Dad passed away a year ago due to chronic illness. I can't afford to lose her. The thought kills me already.

"I-I thought! I-I thought you—" My tears gushed forth as I kneel in front of her.? The pain was so great that I can't barely breathe.

"Hush." Stop crying Phoenix,? I hate to see your beautiful eyes wet with tears." The thin sagging skin that nourished me with amazing love for almost twenty-three years wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"The first time I saw you cry—the moment you were born—I promised myself to always wipe the tears from your exotic green and brown eyes. Yours was the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen..... and the rarest. And I promised to myself to pamper you with love despite your rare condition."

Mom's lips curved into a blissful smile that melted my heart.? Her soft tender touch caressed my messed up hair to untangle the knots. "So stop crying.? I want to have a clear view of the green and brown eyes of yours." She added and stared at my eyes that suffered from Heterochromia Iridis.

The softness of her tone stopped my tears as I got up from kneeling on the floor. "It's already late mom,? you should be asleep." I took the photo album from her lap and helped her get up from the sofa. Mom was so light that I could carry her into my arms without difficulty.

"I won't cry anymore mom."

"Promise?"

"I promise Mom."

I took her pinky finger and sealed my promise. She let go a smile so bright that my worries magically faded. She made no protest as I tucked her to bed.

"One of the happiest moments in life is to let go of the things you cannot change. During the process,? you will lose someone painfully but only that way you will find your real self."

I lulled her to sleep and kept her wisdom into my heart knowing it was the only treasure I could carry all the time with me. It was not long before mom drifted off to sleep.? I listened to her soft snore as I watched the rise and fall of her chest.

"I love you." I whispered and kissed her on the cheek.? My lips stretched into a smile as I heard her respond 'I love you too' in her sleep.

I occupied the single sofa and took the leaning guitar on the wall. My fingers pulled the zipper open and my baby out of the case with gentleness.? It was a gift from Mom when I was eighteen and I cherished the guitar with the same gentleness mom gave me.

I pulled the string. The first sound it created was so magical,? I nearly closed my eyes while a comforting warmth spread on my heart. Serenity appeared on my blissful countenance when I opened my lips.

You made me feel as though,I was enough

We danced the night away,

We drank too much,

I held your hair back when

You were throwing up

Then you smiled over your shoulder

For a minute, I was stone-cold sober

I pulled you closer to my chest

And you asked me to stay over

I think that you should get some rest

Say you won't let go.... Sadly,? it was no longer a promise but a sad song.

Ace finally let me go.... And so I must.