Martial King's Retired Life

“I always knew people working for the government are corrupt. Damn, that was quick thinking.”

Whack! I took an inkstone over the head

“Who are you insulting?!”

“Sorry, sorry, I blurted it out of habit.”

It would’ve been discourteous of me to refuse His Majesty, and I wasn’t sure what was going on back on Mount Daluo, so I concluded the safest course of action was to agree for the meantime. However, I needed to make it clear that me mentoring someone didn’t equal Mount Daluo accepting a disciple. As for whether I’d point that out to His Majesty or not, I’d obviously drag it out for as long as possible. With all that said, I had circled back to a problem that cropped up since the idea was suggested. Every one of the Princes were a handful.

“I still don’t understand. Why me? Are you sure he’s not setting me up?”

“Perhaps… he thinks you’ll do a good job?”

As our conversation went on, we eventually brought up Feng Qizhi, prompting Boss to give me the filthy look again.

“I know that Feng Qizhi you mentioned. It’s best for you to stay as far away from him as you can.”

I thought that was a given, but I wasn’t sure why Boss said that.

“He is a decent fighter. He’s only a tad easier to beat than a fly. If he’s lucky, he might be able to match some forgettable flies,” I opined.

I wasn’t insulting him. Never underestimate flies. They were great at dealing with people who tried to swat them. They’d go up, down, sideways, round in circles, ascend, and dive. The last was the worst to deal with. It was akin to poison. No matter how good you were at expelling poison, it was still poison. Leave it for long enough, and it could cause problems. On the other hand, poison didn’t fear itself. Imagine that on a fly that had a strong will to live.

I used to play “stab the flies” with Chicken Yun back at Wudang with the stipulation of neither of us utilising internal energy. I always lost. Even though I improved, without using internal energy, I was only able to catch eight at most out of ten. I got so mad that I created three sets of qinna techniques and a set of finger skills in “Night Net Book”, namely, “Headless Buzzing Hand”, “Azure to Cyan Light Severing Loop”, and “Great Clam Claws”, each focusing on either freedom of movement, fluidity or intensity. They combined qinna, palm techniques, and claw techniques. “Directionless Fly King Fingers” was a deadly set of skills I created whilst drinking and eating in the dead of night at an eatery by a creek. My two fingers would never miss if I used those skills. Even so, I only managed to catch nine out of ten.

In contrast Chicken Yun was able to skewer ten out of ten with his sword to roast if he wanted. I still couldn’t figure out how he did it.

Shaking her head and wagging her hand, Boss said, “I’m not worried he’ll harm you, but he’s special.”

Special? I’d actually say he’s…

“And he’s not right up north.”

That’s exactly what I thought!

“I mean when I say he’s special. He’s not bad as you say, but his luck is as bizarre as it gets. One time, he was challenged to a fight to the death in Beijiang. His opponent was a monster in Beijiang, and the location for their duel was in enemy territory; it was beside a big swamp. He was a level below his opponent and outnumbered, yet Feng Qizhi fearlessly agreed to the duel. Don’t you think he’s an idiot?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“He should’ve perished there, yet he managed to throw his opponent off his game. His opponent had his subordinates hide nearby for an ambush if he was losing.”

Don’t call a monster despicable. Would someone be called a monster if they weren’t despicable?

“Feng Qizhi didn’t show up at the appointed time. He was still nowhere to be seen four hours after the agreed time.”

“Was he hiding to try and assassinate the monster?”

It wouldn’t have been dishonourable even if he did that since deception was the art of war, not to mention his opponent tried to do the same thing.

“His opponent made the same attention, so he never took his eyes off the swamp, fearing Feng Qizhi was hiding deep underneath. His opponent decided to wait on the surface since there was a limit to how long one can hold their breath underwater, but wait and wait, nothing emerged by the time night fell. Having lost his patience, the monster had his subordinates dive in to check it out, and there really wasn’t anyone down there.”

… My man took deception to a new level! He didn’t even show up?!

“So they didn’t even have the match?”

“No, Feng Qizhi did go there, but… he got lost. He was planning to hide in the swamp and assassinate his opponent, but he chose to hide farther away on account of maintaining stealth, never expecting to end up hiding in a nearby loo after getting lost. When his annoyed opponent grew sick of waiting and went to the loo, Feng Qizhi soared up from below, slicing his opponent right up the middle.”

Put some respect on the man’s name. That’s what you call enduring hardship to achieve a goal!

Feng Qizhi could’ve formed a group with Second and Sixth to debut. I even had a name ready for them – Crap Digging Trio. I could guarantee it was a name that hadn’t been used in two hundred years and wouldn’t be used for at least another two hundred years.

“Unlike your second brother, he’s not just unlucky.” Boss scrunched up her face. “In addition to having horrible luck, he’s not too right up north, so he often contaminates other people with it. He’s special because of his ability to spread his own terrible luck.”

Hong Jiu couldn’t master that. Although he wasn’t healthy right up north, either, he was a smart fellow. Feng Qizhi’s uncanny ability to make others unlucky was just like… just like…

“Just like you, right?”

Hey! Who called me a plague?!

“But back on topic. If you can avoid publicising our involvement with him, that would be for the best. The only thing you will get out of that is trouble. Not only is he Blue Prince’s subordinate for many years, but he’s also a descendant of Feng Clan. I assume you know Feng Clan’s relationship with Uncle? While he and Brilliant Consort get along now, their marriage was to leverage Feng Clan’s wealth to begin with. We’re not afraid of the wealthiest clan in the world, but it’d be better to not make an enemy out of them for something so trivial. Plus, I don’t want to put Brilliant Consort in a tough spot.”

We’re scared of Feng Qizhi? She’s just Brilliant Consort! Tell her I’m knocking. I refuse to believe she wouldn’t forsake her nephew for me.

“Hmph, I was nearly assassinated.”

“Pfft, I meant you beating him is trivial. As for the assassination part, you didn’t tell me anything about all the attempts on your life while you were defenceless, but it’s ‘poor me’ now that you can?”

“Uh… I’ve gotten used to it. That’s why I didn’t mention every little thing. Besides, I survived, didn’t I? Are we really going to ignore Feng Qizhi?”

“Of course.” Boss suddenly frowned. “Wait a second. What are you going to do if not ignore? Did you…”

“Yeah! I captured him.”

“What the hell for?!” Boss flicked me on the forehead and then took out her inkstone.

“Boss! What are you doing?!”

“I just told you he’s trouble, yet you hid him at Liu Shan Men? If anything happens, both of you are going to be sacrificial tributes for a Daoist.”

“I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know his background until now.”

“Before he wakes up, and before he brings us grief, get rid of him. Also! Do not tell anyone we captured him, understood?”

“Okay, okay.”

Seriously, Boss. What plague, trouble, and bad luck. I can’t believe you believe in those childish superstitions.

“Reporting! Someone from Eight Deities has sent a package over,” someone reported outside.

“What package?” Boss asked.

“A sword… and a bill for two hundred silvers that is apparently Head Constable Ming’s.”

Wow, the moon outside is so round…

“Ming Feizhen!”