BXBX NOVEL Chapter 282: Dozing I
Chapter 282: Dozing I
Looking up, there was the sky shining in mysterious shades and the World Tree, looking around, there was nothing but deep trees.
The deep forest evokes fear.
As a child, they often imagined things and cried, being comforted by their older sister.
Yet, strangely, this forest feels soft and gentle, like something out of a fairy tale.
The forest lacks the harsh colors that repel outsiders, and instead, it only deepens the fantasy.
Of course, this might be because they had become a resident of this fairy tale world, but that’s surely not the only reason they didn’t feel afraid.
――The Fantasy Paradise, Chrisnate.
The world\'s largest cage, created by the most beautiful girls.
The world\'s most beautiful, small birdcage.
A mysterious world that seems to exist only when you doze.
"Catch anything?"
"…Nothing."
At those words, Elvena shook her hair, which was neatly arranged on her shoulders, and chuckled as she sat down next to her.
The one casting a fishing line into the stream was a girl with elegant golden hair in a dress.
They were not as the appearance would suggest. It wouldn’t be accurate to call them a girl, but calling them an old woman would also be strange.
All but three were certainly old women, but now they were different.
As she spoke, she left her fishing line hanging.
There were no fish to be seen, and it was doubtful whether there was fish in there.
Though there were birds singing, they were few, and even if seen, they were all unfamiliar birds.
The vegetation was also somewhat different from that of the other world.
This world existed within a fantasy, making the abnormal normal.
Legendary plants bloomed like wildflowers, and huge birds, never seen before, occasionally flew in the sky.
In the lake there were snakes and fish the size of a mansion, and butterfly-like, dwarf-like, fairy-like creatures floating around the World Tree.
On several walks, she saw many mysterious things she would never see in my lifetime.
This would probably continue in the future, and would continue to change.
Most of the things that people imagine and think of were born into this world, or seep out.
And most of the things Elvena and the others saw would take a clear shape and increased in number.
Recognizing them likely made them more certain.
It\'s been about eighty years since they came here.
After spending such time, like living another life, she still didn’t understand.
Surely, she would never fully understand it in the future either.
This world was a world in a slumber.
Everyday life exists in the space between dream and reality.
"…Elvena, you didn’t tell Krische any stupid things, did you?"
"...? Stupid things?"
Selene glared intently at Elvena.
There was something she could think of, but she feigned ignorance and tilted her head.
Selene frowned and muttered that it would be fine if it was just her imagination, then turned her eyes back to the fishing line.
‘Is that so’, Elvena smiled.
She was probably talking about the drinking problem.
Krische Christand, a girl who was incredibly endearing, always stuck to the two of them like a sweet candy.
She seemed to live partly by instinct, but she also seemed to have what could be called reason.
She was a bit worried about how she became stupid when she drank alcohol (personally, it wasn\'t much different from normal), so Elvena gave her some advice.
‘Alcohol dulls one’s reason. Even Bery-sama, Selene-sama, and I become somewhat like that when we drink. Drinking alcohol is like a ritual that naturally allows you to do things that you normally hold back, so it\'s inevitable that you\'ll become more spoiled when you drink.\'
\'I see...\'
‘Just holding it back is bad for your body, so I think it\'s important to let loose from time to time――\'
After that, Krische started drinking almost daily, pretending to be drunk and becoming more spoiled, and Kreschenta, envying her, began to imitate her.
It was quite enjoyable to see Selene and the others swaying between reason and instinct, and there was an indescribable charm in the decadent air.
A ban was soon issued, but it relapsed after suggesting tasting as a workaround, and now the situation had settled down――perhaps fishing in a place without fish was like mental training.
The ones in this birdcage were all cute.
Dozing lies in the boundary between dreams and reality, desire and reason.
If one wanted to drown, one could drown as much as they wanted, but can’t.
When she seemed to be drifting off into a dream, she would occasionally return to reality and regain her discipline.
She liked this vagueness, and it never got boring.
"...Aah, is it about alcohol perhaps? I do remember giving some advice."
"...Advice."
"Yes....But it\'s a difficult problem. I think a moderate amount of alcohol is good but...fufu, seems Krische-sama and the others got a taste for it."
‘That\'s also cute in its own way’, Elvena said with a laugh, and Selene sighed.
"Being too silly is also troublesome. It might be fun for you to watch, though."
"I can\'t deny that. ...It\'s peaceful and comforting to worry about such things."
"…Well, that\'s true."
She went behind her, took out a comb, and quietly combed Selene\'s hair.
Her once damaged hair was now smooth and pleasant to the touch.
"...How is life here?"
"No complaints. I don’t get bored."
"I see. That\'s good."
Selene asked that, then fell silent, and Elvena quietly played with her smooth hair.
Her long hair was smooth without any knot.
She liked touching her long hair. It reminded her of her older sister\'s hair.
Braiding, tying, and plaiting it.
You can have as much fun with just one hair as you want, and change how you look.
Letting it flow smoothly made one look like a lady, tying it high made one look lively, and loosely braiding it made one look graceful. The ever-changing appearance was like magic.
That\'s why Elvena hated her hair, which would become frizzy when she let it grow out as a child.
She thought she couldn\'t use that kind of magic.
But in the end, she just hated herself.
Even if she had changed her hairstyle, she would have been looking for other things she didn\'t like.
She only realized this after she reunited with her sister and was invited to this mansion.
"...Honestly, I was a bit surprised."
"That you stayed here. ...Of course, I don\'t mean it in a bad way."
She didn\'t turn around, just stared at the fishing line.
Elvena also moved her hand, which she had stopped, and started braiding it as if playing with it.
"I was curious, but it felt awkward to ask… Can I ask why you stayed?"
"Fufu, have you been curious for decades?"
"Yes... Because all that is here is really small things."
She also shook her fishing rod up and down as if playing with it.
"Without a goal, without an answer, without an ending. In the blink of an eye, I repeated one life, but this process of something so far-fetched and unclear will continue forever."
It seemed like she was trying to lure fish, but it probably had no meaning.
Just a casual pastime――knowing there were no fish, she continued to fish.
"If you can\'t find something here, it would only be painful… but you have it right, and that\'s why you’re enjoying it"
Meaningless, worthless, insignificant.
All that was here was something that was insignificant.
"...Yes, I think I may be surprisingly similar to Selene-sama."
"Similar?"
"Yes. I\'m just stubborn."
"You..."
Selene turned and glared at her, and Elvena chuckled.
" Selene-sama, have you ever thought about the definition of a human?"
"...definition?"
"Yes. What separates humans from beasts."
Seeing her ponder at the sudden question, Elvena laughed again.
"When I asked Bery-sama once, she said that humans are wasteful and irrational creatures."
"…That sounds like Berry."
"Yes. Fufu, I think it’s about having stubbornness. …Well, it’s just wordplay; the essence is the same."
As she braid her hair, she looked up at the sky.
Uncertain and vague――a dream-like fantasy color where everything comes true.
"I wonder if it\'s like wishing for a fish to fly in the sky, longing for something you can\'t have, asking for things you don\'t have.... It\'s human nature to reach out for things that seem really foolish to an outsider."
But dreams are fleeting.
They may seem within reach, but they never could never be grasped.
Just as one can’t catch the reflection of the moon on the lake\'s surface.
"...I love my sister. Even now."
"...Kalua?"
"Yes. My sister is someone I\'ll never be able to have."
When I asked if that was strange, Selene shook her head as if it was natural.
She didn\'t seem surprised.
The comfort probably came from such moments.
Turning even the extraordinary nature of eternity into everyday life was because they were peculiar, and so was Elvena.
In this world, Elvena was a very ordinary person.
"Selene, can you categorize your love for Krische? For example, your love for Bery and Kreschenta as well."
"...You mean...the direction?"
"Yes, it’s difficult, right? …I completely have no idea."
From her neck to the front.
She rub her cheek against her soft cheek and trace Selen’s lips with her fingers.
"I don\'t know if I was weird from the beginning or if it became that way because of work, but... I\'m probably a promiscuous person. Whether it\'s Selene-sama, Berry-sama, or anyone else, just like my sister... my love is probably a mixture of too many things."
"Um, well... does that include that kind of too?"
"Yes. Fufu...admiration, closeness as a family, lust as a woman, everything."
She let go of Selene, who stiffened, and laughed.
When she turned around, Selene’s beautiful face was flushed and she looked even more beautiful.
"I don\'t have any resistance... For example, kissing or touching skin――of course there are some degrees to it, and I think I have a general sense of ethics... but I can\'t distinguish between them emotionally."
‘I\'m aware that I\'m not normal, but that doesn\'t change my inner self.’
‘I\'m always in a state of "drowsiness", not on either side of the border’.
"...So I didn\'t really know what my relationship with my sister was. Should I see her as that kind of partner, or just as my sister, as family?...But while I was thinking about it, Mia took her away from me."
Selene laughed and looked at Elvena.
"Is that what you mean when you say you\'re similar to me?"
"Yes....Did it bother you?"
"Fufu, that\'s too late now....I had made up my mind about that before I came here."
‘You\'re right, we’re probably similar’, she thought, reaching out and stroking Elvena\'s head.
That touch reminded her somewhat of her sister.
She thought herself was a person without a sense of self.
At least, she was a person who had never made any decisions on her own.
As a child, she admired her sister, who was smart, respectable, and capable of anything, and tried to imitate her.
After becoming a slave, she obediently did as she was told to avoid being beaten.
It was always like that, always thinking about the moment.
She never thought about what her future held, or what she wanted to do with herself now.
"Hmm, close. I feel like I was almost able to grasp something."
"Nee-san... I understand how you feel, but please take better care of yourself."
A room in an apartment building in a first-class city.
A living room with a simple kitchen and two bedrooms――a house that\'s neither large nor small.
There was a sofa and a desk, two vases that always withered on the shelf, and a few mysterious decorations.
The rest was swords and armor on shelves, a few dishes and cooking utensils.
Apart from the mysterious decorations that Mia had added, the house was as usual and familiar to her.
However, perhaps because she usually slept and woke up in the mansion, it didn\'t feel like her own home.
Sitting in a chair, her sister unashamedly exposed her naked back, which was covered in bruises and scrapes.
She didn\'t get injured that often.
Her sister was the best swordsman in the Black Flag Special Forces.
There were only a few opponents that she would lose to in a fight.
Today, she sparred with the commander of the Sandika army. She managed to win the first round, but lost the next two in a row.
"I know. Fufu, but as expected he’s a lever or two above me. I\'d assumed he was a pretty good swordsman, but to think... I guess it\'s the difference in experience."
"Is he really that strong?"
"Yeah. Once you\'re on the defensive, you\'re helpless. I managed to get the first move with the first one, but the last two I got kicked and rolled over, and that\'s it."
She smiled happily and spread her arms out.
"But even taking one is proof that I\'ve made progress... I feel like I\'ve gotten a little stronger."
"...Is that so"
After disinfecting and applying medicine――while worrying about her wounded sister, she also admired the beauty of her body.
A body that was best described as lithe.
She wasn\'t big-boned, more like a dancer than a warrior.
Her muscles were subtly visible, casting shadows on her untanned white back.
To the touch, she felt soft, and elastic.
But her half-naked, beautifully sculpted back bore many old scars.
At least, they were not there when they were in the village.
Elvena hadn\'t talked about what kind of life she had led before they were reunited.
Similarly, she hadn\'t asked her sister for details about what had happened before they were reunited, and her sister never spoke of any hardships.
But her sister\'s scars would remain with forever, and they were likely inflicted by Elvena.
Feelings of guilt and affection mingled indistinctly.
Her heart was always a mix of various emotions, unable to lean fully to one side.
If there was a part of her that blamed herself, there was also a foolish part that saw it as a sign of love.
Tracing her scars, her sister laughed, saying it tickled.
"...Don\'t worry about it. I don\'t really care."
"...Yes."
With her hands above her head, with her back still turned, her sister ruffled her hair roughly.
Her hair got messy, and laughter spilled out as she rested my cheek on her sister’s back.
The warmth of her body was comforting, and the quiet beat of the heart shivered her eardrums, and she quietly closed her eyes.
If she were to put those feelings into words, would they be called love?
It felt right to say that she loved her sister, and she wasn\'t dissatisfied with our current relationship.
However, if asked what kind of love that was, she wasn\'t sure she could answer.
It would be easier to decide that it was sisterly.
It would also be easy to decide that it was something other than that.
But her feelings remained vague, like a morning drowsiness, and she had no intention of deciding.
Because Elvena was a person who always took the easy way out and never chose anything.
The war with the Three Countries ended and peace came, but her sister still pushed herself and trained.
Her sister was a strong person.
If she had abandoned her foolish little sister, she might have built a peaceful happiness by now.
Elvena’s sure her sister could have succeeded in anything.
But she took up the sword for Elvena, and even now, even though she was covered in wounds, she still holds the sword as a token of gratitude to Krische.
She tirelessly trains her body and mind to avoid regretting the chosen path.
When she saw someone who could decide how to live with just their will, she admired them from the bottom of my heart.
Her sister has always decided everything on her own.
She was not afraid to make decisions, and even if there were thorns in front of her, she did not hesitate to choose that path.
That sister of hers shines brightly, and that was why she admired her.
When she saw her sister like that, she sometimes wondered if it was really love.
There was definitely something stronger than sisterly affection.
So, it seems appropriate to whisper words of love, yet there was a lingering doubt.
Something inside her whispered that maybe she was mistaking simple admiration for love.
If she told her true feelings sincerely, she felt that her sister would be accepted.
But Elvena didn\'t know what her true feelings were.
She found herself always looking at the subjective feelings from a different place with clear eyes.
The front door opened and a chestnut-haired woman came in.
A cheerful voice.
"I\'m home. Oh, you\'re treating her wounds?"
"Yes, I\'ll just need to bandage it lightly and it will be done."
"Thanks. Kalua, that sort of thing is sloppy."
"You always complain about others, but Mia, you have a lot to say too."
"I’m different form Kalua”
Mia looked into the basket on the table――filled with meat, vegetables, and fruits from the mansion and smiled, saying they looked delicious.
With a wry smile, she told Mia she\'d prepare them, and she nodded happily.
"Yeah. Umm... then, I\'ll bandage it..."
"Ehh... Mia\'s messier than me."
"S-shut up."
"Fufu, please."
She picked up the ingredients and headed to the kitchen.
A simple, salty soup would be good. It was a little hot outside.
As she lined up the ingredients and glanced at the two, they were endlessly bickering and complaining yet seemed to enjoy it.
Just like the mansion, this house was always bright, no matter when I returned.
Even on days when Elvena wasn\'t there, it probably had this same atmosphere.
She was always in a doze.
Going back and forth between the mansion and this house, her daily life where nothing was clear was just comfortable――she lazily drowned in it, never waking up.
How long would she be allowed to stay in that daze?
The answer was always vague and hazy.