The System Mistook Me for a Cat

"Yan Li, your formation doesn't seem very serious. I can hear laughter from your direction even from far away. What's going on - are you performing crosstalk for your students?"

Instructor Yan: "?"

It wasn't like he wanted to perform.

To be honest, he didn't think Chu Tingwu was a troublemaker at first.

The girl was quite tall with a proportionate figure. Her hair was cut to neck length in a well-behaved style. She had the kind of eyes and expression that made you think she was a quiet child - and indeed she was quiet and obedient, specifically shown by how she could keep a straight face while others were laughing.

But the other students were laughing because of the cat she brought!

Instructor Yan: "..."

After Old Liu grabbed back his water bottle, the cat stopped causing trouble and just lay on a nearby tree, swishing its tail while watching Class (1) train.

Everyone knows that standing around during military training is incredibly boring. Students' eyes wander everywhere - even the bricks on the ground seem interesting, let alone a living, breathing cat.

Instructor Yan had no choice but to stand at the front, holding his water bottle while keeping a close eye on those with wandering gazes.

But when he got close, some people noticed his water bottle and their expressions immediately cracked, changing from zoning out to suppressing laughter - and quite obviously at that.

Instructor Yan: "?"

Being easily amused is an illness that needs treatment!

He needed to make an example of a real troublemaker to get them to be more serious!

Otherwise, forget about being an exemplary unit - he himself would be criticized in reports.

So after lunch, Instructor Yan watched Chu Tingwu for a long time before regretfully turning to the boys in the back: "Row 5, Number 2, step forward!"

The boy who had been making faces at his neighbor jumped and took a step forward.

Instructor Yan: "Can you do push-ups?"

The boy did ten push-ups with a pained expression before being allowed to return to formation.

Once someone was punished, these new students finally tightened up and stopped swaying and fooling around. The afternoon included standing at attention and marching practice, with military songs during breaks. Most people were exhausted.

Near dismissal time, Instructor Yan turned his head and noticed the cat was gone... probably scared away by their loud shouting.

The peacock had also been sent back, which made him feel relieved.

Looking at Chu Tingwu again, her posture was standard with a perfectly straight back. She looked pleasing to the eye once more - quite well-behaved after all.

-

During military training, each class's homeroom teacher would also be at school, occasionally coming to check on the training.

Teacher Yuan naturally did the same. Besides watching the training, she had an additional task - Teacher Cao had told her that Chu Tingwu could climb directly over the playground wall to leave campus, so she needed to keep an extra eye out as it was too dangerous.

Teacher Yuan: "...You haven't confused her with a cat, have you?"

Teacher Cao: "I'm just nearsighted, not blind."

Heaven knows how shocked he was early that morning when he saw Chu Tingwu jump from a window onto the wall, then leap nearly three meters to the railing outside the playground-

"The top of our playground fence has spikes on one half and curves on the other - she was standing on the curved platform. If her foot slips, she could end up with a row of holes in herself!"

This wasn't just dangerous behavior anymore - it was life-threatening.

So Teacher Cao hesitated and didn't immediately confront Chu Tingwu: they all knew her parents weren't reliable, and kids this age were especially prone to rebellion - they needed to be handled gently.

This wasn't Chu Tingwu's first time doing this, so he decided to observe first and see if this child just liked dangerous activities and thrills, or if she was simply fearless with too much courage.

However, during their military training, Teacher Cao found some time and stood by the playground fence, trying to climb up-

Forget about jumping straight to the foothold at the top - he couldn't even climb up using both hands and feet.

...And then the security guard noticed him.

"Teacher Cao?"

"Haha, I just saw what looked like a black cat back there, so I climbed up to take a look."

"That's a black plastic bag."

Is your eyesight okay, Teacher Cao?

With faint doubts and concerns, Teacher Yuan stayed at school until evening, and after seeing the girls' dormitory doors close, she decided to do room inspections.

-

This was Chu Tingwu's first time sharing a room with others.

After they all took their showers, it wasn't lights-out time yet. Chang Yile pulled out Chinese chess from her drawer and played with Chang Yixin, while An Shiyan took out a notebook and sat at the desk drawing.

As Chu Tingwu passed by, she noticed An Shiyan had a notebook, ruler, and compass, and was sketching on white paper - it seemed she wasn't drawing pictures but doing some kind of design.

After being checkmated yet again, Chang Yile complained wistfully: "I really want to use my phone..."

Phones weren't allowed at school, and they were strictly forbidden during military training - getting caught with one would result in a disciplinary warning and disqualification from being an excellent trainee (if applicable). Their dorm room was under special attention from their homeroom teacher, and their parents had been very cooperative, confiscating their phones in advance, leaving these phone-dependent patients extremely bored.

The last time they used their phones was the last time!

Chu Tingwu wasn't bored though - the system was showing her a documentary about lions on the savanna. After falling asleep at night, she could still run and jump around in the dream classroom all night. During normal days, she also frequently engaged in outdoor activities, so she wasn't very dependent on her phone.

But the other three clearly didn't feel the same way. An Shiyan also threw down her pen: "Did anyone bring playing cards? Want to play?"

Chang Yile: "My mom said they weren't allowed. Apparently you can lose points if they're found. See, we only brought Chinese chess - we couldn't even bring Ludo!"

Chang Yixin: "...Should we write military training diaries instead?"

As soon as she said this, her twin sister loudly objected: "That's even worse than playing chess!"

In the end, Chu Tingwu and Chang Yixin were playing chess, with Chang Yile giving random advice from the side. When Teacher Yuan knocked and entered, she found Chang Yile doing push-ups with An Shiyan trying to sit on her back.

Teacher Yuan: "...Hmm?"

Chu Tingwu: "She got caught cheating at chess, now it's punishment time."

Teacher Yuan thought: Looks like your daytime exercise wasn't enough if you still have this much energy.

After checking the room, she gave additional instructions: "If you want hot water, go get it now. Don't wander the corridors after lights out - there are cameras. Also, if anyone feels sick or unwell, you can go find the dorm supervisor."

But for other matters, just forget it... Teacher Yuan had just come from Room 307, where a girl had been crying because she was homesick, probably overwhelmed by the day's exercise.

So seeing Room 401 so lively made her feel relieved.

After checking again and confirming no one had electronic devices, she went to the next room.

After Teacher Yuan left, Chang Yile mumbled: "If we can't get water at night, what if I want to eat instant noodles?"

She was hungry after exercising.

An Shiyan: "I want potato chips."

Chang Yixin: "Hot pot."

System: "Barbecue... barbecue..."

Chu Tingwu: Why are you calling out too?

The system was quite aggrieved: "You ate too little today, you need to supplement your meat intake."

What kind of kitten eats so little! And with such strict meal times! Military training is too much!

It felt that if its young cub really trained like this for seven days, she would definitely lose weight.

Chu Tingwu: "..."

After being pestered by the system for a while, Chu Tingwu finally gave in and asked her roommates: "Do you really want midnight snacks?"

As soon as she said this, her roommates became alert: "Could it be...

"Cat delivery?!"

Chang Yile: "Can we order food? Can we order food... Never mind, it would be too heavy for a cat to carry..."

Chang Yixin: "Could we get it through the first-floor bathroom window?"

An Shiyan sighed: "The bathroom windows seem to be high up, about two meters high with frosted glass strips. Can a cat bring food through that?"

It would be too much to ask Three Five Five to jump two meters, so Chu Tingwu said: "But I can."

Her roommates: "..."

Right, right... their roommate seemed to be an extremely skilled parkour athlete, the kind who could get millions of views on rooftop parkour livestreams!

An Shiyan raised her hand: "So just bring whatever? No need to bring anything specific, I can eat anything. Oh right! Tingwu, that window is quite narrow, isn't it?"

She gestured with her hands, showing that it was about a meter long but only around forty centimeters wide, able to slide open horizontally.

Chu Tingwu: "I'll throw the stuff in, you guys help catch it?"

That was easy enough to agree to.

About half an hour later, the dorm lights were out. They could faintly hear movement from next door, along with footsteps from upstairs and downstairs. When her roommates wanted to move, Chu Tingwu stopped them. They waited another ten minutes until the dorm supervisor had also gone to bed before heading downstairs.

Chu Tingwu walked in front, with her roommates following behind. They walked somewhat clumsily, unaware that in the darkness, Chu Tingwu's eyes had quietly transformed into cat-like pupils.

In the environment, there were only three sets of footsteps. Though she wore shoes like the others, Chu Tingwu's steps were nearly silent. Following behind, Chang Yile's palms were getting sweaty, and at the corner, she simply grabbed Chu Tingwu's hand.

Hmm, it was warm.

She had been scared to death.

Chu Tingwu: "?"

After staying in the darkness for a while, their eyes adjusted and shapes became clearer. The four of them moved to the first-floor bathroom.

An Shiyan drew in a sharp breath: "Can someone really fit through this window?"

The window could only open about a hand's width, needing to be pushed open before anyone could pass through. Moreover, it was two meters high outside. An Shiyan was hesitating, about to say something when she saw a figure lightly jump onto the very top of the bathroom stall door.

Yes, the very top.

An Shiyan: "?"

Chu Tingwu adjusted her position on top and gestured with her hand: "Can you open the stall door for me?"

The door creaked as it turned, moving closer to the window. The three roommates looked up with their mouths forming perfect "O"s.

Chu Tingwu crouched on the door's edge, which was barely two centimeters wide, and opened the window above.

Then, she lunged forward, her upper body smoothly slipping through the window. With a flex of her wrist, her lower body followed through.

There was no sound from outside, and the others nervously looked at each other:

"She... she didn't fall, right?"

"What if she can't get back in? Is there anything out there to step on?"

"I actually thought we'd have to do it like in TV dramas (gesturing), where we'd make a human bridge with our thighs and wrists, and Chu Tingwu would climb over..."

But none of that was needed!

Suddenly, a transparent bag appeared at the window, which Chang Yile quickly caught, followed by another. Soon, several bags containing food were in their hands, and a hand appeared at the window.

The hand made a gesture outward, and the roommates understood the signal, stepping back two paces to make room.

This time, they got to see Chu Tingwu's window acrobatics from a different angle.

Her lower body came through first, and as her head followed, Chu Tingwu twisted to face the right way, gripping the window frame with one hand. She pushed off the wall and landed gracefully.

Chang Yile: "...You land more quietly than I walk!"

Having such a roommate would really give someone the wrong impression about parkour!

The four of them sneaked back to their dorm with excited hearts. Once inside, they immediately began dividing their spoils. In the darkness, Chang Yile pulled out a mini flashlight, and they gathered around her desk to eat their midnight snack. Afterward, the whole room was filled with the aroma of meat.

Chang Yile: "(munching) Chang Yixin, go open the window to clear the smell..."

Chang Yixin: "Whoever's closest to the window should go."

Chu Tingwu: "Ah, then I'll go."

"No, no, no—"

Several people held her back, and An Shiyan ran to crack open the window. After eating their fill, they started getting drowsy. Everyone finished washing up again and fell asleep almost instantly after getting into bed.

Only Chu Tingwu continued watching her Lion King documentary for a while, then went parkour training in her dream classroom.

Meanwhile, Instructor Yan wasn't asleep either.

After the instructors finished checking the boys' dormitory, they stayed in their school accommodation. Before bed, the instructors decided to order some barbecue takeout... When the delivery was nearly there, Instructor Yan went to wait at the school gate, only to watch the delivery person head to the neighboring complex first.

Finally getting his own order, on his way back, he noticed a large cat on the wall, its eyes glowing like two bulbs in the darkness, with takeout in its mouth.

The cat looked at him.

He looked at the cat.

Then the cat walked away with disdain.

Instructor Yan: "?"

Were all the cats at No. 5 High School like this?

For some reason, during training the next day, while walking among the class formation, Instructor Yan kept thinking he could smell barbecue.

On the second day of military training, everyone's postures had improved somewhat. When Instructor Yan gave them a break, he added some extra praise: "You're making good progress, I think you're doing better than Class (2)."

Someone exclaimed in shock: "Instructor, you're actually not saying we're the worst batch you've ever trained!"

Instructor Yan: "...Would you even believe me if I said that?"

As everyone laughed, Instructor Yan said: "If you work hard, we can master the military stance and marching quickly, then I can teach you military boxing early. That's more interesting than these two exercises, right?"

That was true - if they had to suffer under the sun anyway, everyone preferred suffering with more freedom of movement.

Someone called for the instructor to demonstrate, and Instructor Yan didn't refuse. He casually picked the loudest male student and easily took him down.

The students had just let out a "Wow" when suddenly they released an even bigger "Wow!"

Instructor Yan: "?" He hadn't moved from his position at all!

He turned around cautiously and, sure enough, saw a familiar calico cat and a familiar peacock.

Why was No. 5 High School's peacock out again?

Behind them, the peacock and the calico were in a standoff. The calico lay on the edge of the flower bed, its tail raised in a subtle arc, its entire body tense as it squinted at the "big bird" before it.

The peacock had been taking small steps around earlier, but upon seeing the unfamiliar cat, it seemed to sense the other's aggressive nature. It shook its tail and suddenly chose to fan it out.

The neighboring Class (2) also let out a "Wow!"

Although this peacock's appearance wasn't particularly impressive - quite ordinary, in fact - being able to see a peacock display its tail at school rather than at a zoo certainly deserved these No. 5 High School freshmen's exclamations of amazement.

San Wu Wu called out, her voice unusually husky, showing her evident excitement.

But just then, the cafeteria auntie walked over, picked up the peacock like she would a chicken, and apologized to everyone around: "Sorry about that, I'll take it back now."

The school's peacock had gotten used to wandering around on its own after being here so long.

Instructor Yan: "=="

San Wu Wu also seemed to lose interest. She walked forward a couple of steps, glanced at Instructor Yan, and quietly climbed into her cub's lap.

Instructor Yan: "Ahem!"

The cat ignored him.

Instructor Yan: "Chu Tingwu? Would you like to come up and practice?"

Upon hearing her cub's name, San Wu Wu's ears twitched first, then she turned to look at the instructor, her tail swishing back and forth.

Instructor Yan called others either by pointing or stating their position, but he had remembered Chu Tingwu's name since day one - how could he not remember it?

He watched as the short-haired, demure (?) girl stood up reluctantly. The cat also got down, naturally following at her feet. The human and cat walked to the front, with the cat curiously looking up, sizing up the male human before them.

Instructor Yan: "...Your cat won't scratch me, will it?"

If he suddenly had to apply for leave to get vaccinations, those inconsiderate fellows would laugh themselves to death!

Then, he watched as the young girl crouched down and patted the cat's head. The cat purred, turned around, and climbed up a tree, lying on a branch to watch the two of them.

If you ignore the names of the moves, military boxing can be categorized by its practical purposes as "punching, kicking, knife-disarming, and choking" - it's quite practical for combat. However, when taught to students during military training, after going through their interpretation, it obviously couldn't be very practical anymore.

Having called Chu Tingwu up, the instructor didn't intend to practice with her seriously, just joked: "Follow my movements for two moves, let me see if your form is standard or not."

He planned to have Chu Tingwu perform a straight punch and a roundhouse kick - one requiring a horse stance for support, and the other standing on one leg. Both movements demanded good balance. Many students would start trembling within two minutes when first learning these moves, eventually losing their stability.

Hmm... her posture was quite standard...

Although Chu Tingwu had been somewhat defiant with her cat-training behavior, Instructor Yan had actually considered making her a military training model student. After all, anyone with eyes could see who performed well and who didn't after a day's training.

Two minutes of holding the position, and her form hadn't deteriorated...

Why hasn't her form broken down yet... How could she be so stable?

She must have had prior training, right?

Hey...

Instructor Yan: "..."

This was becoming rather awkward.

He turned his head and noticed several students fidgeting, particularly one familiar face - twins were always memorable: "Chang Yile?"

Chang Yile: "Reporting, Instructor! Chu Tingwu has training experience. She could hold this for another three hours! Does that mean we can rest for three hours too?"

Chu Tingwu: "=="

No... she couldn't last three hours either!

Her roommates knew her UP account ID but hadn't spread it around. A few students might have recognized her through "Three Five Five," but with limited chatting opportunities during training, they couldn't confirm it face-to-face.

Instructor Yan: "Impossible!"

He clapped his hands, signaling Chu Tingwu to stop, which drew collective "tsks" from the students.

Instructor Yan: "Tch... sigh... alright, fine. Chu Tingwu, come here. Since you've had training, show me two moves. I'll learn from you, and then we can move past this!"

The students finally stopped their disapproving sounds. They no longer complained about the heat or fatigue, and instead started offering suggestions to Chu Tingwu:

"Show him, boss!"

"Boss, do something flashy, make it impossible for the instructor!"

"Go for it, Chu-chu!"

Even the neighboring Class (2) stopped their training. Instructor Liu specifically had them sit opposite to watch, standing with his hands behind his back, looking quite amused.

Chu Tingwu: "I'll just do two random moves then..."

She couldn't really make things too difficult for the instructor, right?

She walked a few steps into the empty field, jumped slightly, and performed three consecutive front flips.

Class 1 & Class 2: "Wow!"

Chu Tingwu: "==" This was, um, a bit embarrassing.

Instructor Yan actually felt relieved: Front flips, even three consecutive ones, were something he could manage.

He clapped his hands, shot Old Liu a glare, and moved beside Chu Tingwu. He performed three consecutive front flips as well. Unlike Chu Tingwu's light landing, Instructor Yan's landing had a solid, powerful feel to it.

It was hard to say who did better.

After the instructor finished, Chu Tingwu nodded, grabbed the horizontal bar nearby, and pulled herself up with one swift movement.

Instructor Yan: "..." He had an inexplicable sense of foreboding.

Then, he watched as the female student maintained that "==" expression, swinging effortlessly on the bar. She rotated 180 degrees, supported herself with both hands, and performed a handstand facing Class 1. Then, she lifted her left hand, crossed her hands to flip, swung 360 degrees, and faced Class 2, completing another perfect handstand.

She held it for three seconds, seemingly deciding that going further might not be appropriate... Finally, she supported herself on the bar, did a split, and dismounted.

Instructor Yan took a deep breath: "Are you a gymnast?!"

Your Fifth Middle School... is really going too far, from the peacocks to the students.

Chu Tingwu: "...Something like that?"

Every cat is a natural gymnastics master, after all.

Unable to give up without saying anything, Instructor Yan took a deep breath and chose to mount the horizontal bar. A 360-degree swing wasn't difficult, and even doing two "kip-ups" was easy. He could manage the cross-handed face change too - though his speed was faster than Chu Tingwu's, and he couldn't hold still on the bar.

But the handstand split required too much balance - impossible without specialized training... Instructor Yan chose to give up.

After dismounting, he was quite frank: "You met my requirements, but I couldn't meet yours. According to the rules, I should accept punishment. What's it going to be?"

Before the crowd could start heckling, Chu Tingwu decided to be merciful: "Ten push-ups should do it."

Instructor Yan immediately got down, and the students stopped their teasing... but Three Five Five meowed once from the tree.

Instructor Yan: "?"

By the third push-up, he felt something furry settle on his back.

He switched from two-handed push-ups to one-handed, doing finger push-ups while turning his head -

A tortoiseshell cat was perched on his back.

Then, a white cat with slightly black ears darted out from the grove, meowed once, and jumped onto his back too.

Instructor Yan: "??"

Next, a calico cat with a black face leisurely climbed onto his back, meowed "meow meow" twice, and called over a long-haired Persian cat.

The weight aside, it was really hot!

After completing ten push-ups, he immediately stood up. The four cats moved away even faster, retreating to the shade to watch the students' military training.

As for Instructor Yan, covered in cat fur, he silently continued training, silently glared at people, silently drank water... and silently received criticism from the head instructor during lunch:

"Yan Li, I know you need to bond with the students, but I could hear your formation laughing several times from far away. I even saw you doing finger push-ups with four cats on your back. What's next, planning to join the circus as an acrobat after retirement?"

Instructor Yan: "I..."

He hadn't invited the cats - it was the cats' fault! Something was wrong with Fifth Middle School's cats!

He turned his head and saw the leading tortoiseshell cat crouching at the cafeteria entrance, holding a bagged popsicle in its mouth.

Instructor Yan: "=="

He looked over at Chu Tingwu and found her getting a second serving of food, eating diligently, showing no trace of her earlier defiant behavior.

Having gymnastics experience doesn't equal knowing military boxing -

Since this kid had good balance, she should practice more! When it came time to teach military boxing, he would scrutinize her every move. If he couldn't train her to be the grade's model student, he'd change his surname to Cat.

Three Five Five shook her fur: "Meow?"

The popsicle was cold, making her fur damp. Why hadn't the young one come out yet?