Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

Chapter 164: Chapter 164: Big Cat Problem.

All of them were still dressed in suits and modest clothes, but Uncle Jim was already in his t-shirt as he took off his clothes in the car while they were still on the road home.

"It\'s a good thing he\'s not here, but where did he go?" Grandma Jules asked as she wore an apron to prepare for the celebratory feast. May and Camila were helping in putting up a banner and streamers in the living room as they were preparing to give Edward a surprise.

"Don\'t look at me. I don\'t know anything. If anyone knows anything, it\'d be Amy." Maggie shrugged with her hands up and pointed to her younger sister with her mouth.

"Amy. Do you know where he went?" Ted asked as he untied his necktie slowly.

Amy silently drank her water before she said uncomfortably, "I don\'t know."

"Hmm...Well, you\'d already told him to be here for lunch right Sam?" Grandma Jules turned to Grandpa Sam. He nodded as he sipped his beer, and Jules understood that that was the best answer she could get from him.

"What happened to Aaron?" Jim asked as he saw his brother-in-law blanking out and seeming to be out of touch with reality.

"The divorce settlement must be hitting him hard." Ted muttered sympathetically, as he knew the feeling. "I\'ll talk to him."

Jules nodded and let Ted handle the matter while she took out the potatoes. Aaron was staring at an empty wall, muttering to himself, "Is Edward Jesus? Or a Disney Princess reincarnated into a boy\'s body?"

He tried hard to understand what just happened, as he was sure that what he saw was real. "Otherwise, how the hell did he make the cows dance?"

The good news is he was no longer thinking about his divorce, or how he got cuckolded by the ex-town preacher. The bad news was that now he thought he might currently be having mental problems such as schizophrenia or delusions.

Maggie pulled Amy aside and asked her a question away from the rest of the family, "Where is he?"

"He went hiking." Amy replied with a careful whisper.

"Alone?" Maggie raised her eyebrow.

"No. With Miss Allison." Amy replied, "Don\'t tell anyone."

"Why is he with her?" Maggie asked, confused.

"Well he\'s kinda interested in her." Amy replied, causing Maggie to widen her eyes in shock. Amy added quickly, "But they are not going out or anything. He\'s interested in her, she\'s not going to date him."

"But she is interested in him?" Maggie asked with a face full of excitement from the gossip.

"I don\'t know. Maybe. But Ed is weird. He likes older girls a lot. He\'s been talking to a highschooler two nights in a row."

"Oh. So you might say...that he has a cougar problem?" Maggie said, snickering at her own joke.

Amy didn\'t get it, "She\'s not that ferocious? She\'s a housecat...Maybe?"

Maggie stared at Amy blankly, unsure whether she should explain it or not.

...

[Edward POV]

The beast had brown-golden fur, and its eyes were malicious. It lowered its center of gravity as if trying to pounce at us.

"Wee Hee Hee Hee Dee Hee Hee Hee Hee WeeOhWimBaWeh~"

The wilderness turned silent for a moment as I suddenly sang.

Even the big cat was confused and tilted its head.

Allison was stunned and whispered with teary eyes, "What?" after I suddenly started singing in front of the mountain lion.

I stood in between the puma and Allison, as I knew that my perks would save me. But I couldn\'t say the same for her. The lion kept staring and roaring at her. Without my intervention, I was sure that it would attack her as soon as it got the chance.

"Just trust me." I said as I glanced at her quickly.

"Wee Hee Hee Hee Dee Hee Hee Hee Hee WeeOhWimBaWeh~"

"ROAR!" The puma was anxious, but as I looked into its eyes, it calmed down a bit. However it still tried to move towards Allison while licking its lips.

"Do the background music." I whispered to Allison. She was horrified and muttered, "We\'re going to die!"

"Not if you do the background music!" I urged her while my palms started to sweat.

"Wee-ooh wim-o-weh. Wee-ooh wim-o-weh. Wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh" Allison sang reluctantly and tearfully.

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight~" I sang sweetly as I smiled at the puma.

Seeing the kempt fur on its body, I assumed that it has some experience with a human being before. That\'s why I chose this song.

\'If it ever spent time with a human being, I am 100% sure that it would hear this song once or twice or many, many times.\'

"In the jungle, the quiet jungle, the lion sleeps tonight~" I sang carefully as I took a step back from the big cat.

Allison was astonished when she saw the puma being docile and stopped at its place, no longer trying to get to her. She kept singing with all of her might as we slowly retreated from the spot.

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight." I sang as Allison slowly tried to pass the obstacle behind her.

She needed to hold the rope tied up between the trees to pass the slippery rocks and a tiny water stream, and she had to do it while retreating, which increased its difficulty.

Suddenly, the calmed down lion walked slowly towards me, causing Allison to hurriedly chant the "Wee-ooh wim-o-weh" without stopping.

"It\'s okay. Just be careful and slowly retreat-" I said, when suddenly the big cat nudged my hand and roared gently.

"Meow (Food!)"

"Hmm?" I turned to the crying Allison and asked, "Do you have any food on you?"

"Wim-o-weh? I...I..." She stammered and reached into her pocket before taking off some beef jerky.

\'So that\'s what attracted her!\' I thought I reached into the puma\'s head and slowly tried to pat it. Allison was scared speechless as she saw I succeeded, before I ordered, "Throw the beef jerky towards me. You slowly retreat."

"Edward. What about you?" She asked while crying, hesitating on whether to throw the food towards me, or to the bush far away.

"I\'ll be fine. Please. Trust me." I said while looking into her eyes. The puma was still gazing at her, causing her to be stunned again. Then, she gritted her teeth and threw it towards me. I grabbed the beef jerky midair and quickly took it out of its package.

"You want this?" I asked the mountain lion cheekily.

"You have a death wish!" Allison scolded me with a tiny voice. She finally crossed the obstacle, and urged me, "Put it there and come to me!"

" It\'s fine. She\'s not dangerous." I said as the mountain lion started to eat the jerky in my hand obediently. Allison was still scared, and I told her, "You can go down first. I\'ll catch up with you!"

"NO!" She almost shouted, causing the cat to be alarmed again. Seeing the repercussions, she quickly changed her tone and spoke carefully, "I won\'t leave you here alone."

"Alright. Wait a minute." I said as I got down on one knee and started petting the beast\'s fur. "You\'re a beauty aren\'t you? But this is not your place. You should move out of this hill, or the humans will hunt you down."

The puma snorted, but she kept eating the beef jerky. I smiled and said, "Tsundere. Alright. If we are fated, we will see each other again. But right now, I have to get her to safety, so I need to say goodbye."

"Roar!" The puma roared as if she understood what I was saying. Then, she rushed to the bushes and disappeared.

I breathe a sigh of relief before standing up. I turned to Allison who was in disbelief and flopped on the ground as her knees gave up before crossing the obstacle skillfully to get to her.

"Are you alright?" I asked her worriedly as I tried to help her stand up.

Her face was ashen and my hand could feel her sweaty body, presumably from the anxiety in the confrontation before. She looked at me with a blank face before bursting into tears. She embraced me and pushed her face into my chest as she sobbed.

I brushed her hair to calm her down, and after she collected herself, she suddenly looked into my eyes before inching nearer and giving me a wet, sloppy french kiss. I was a bit taken aback, but then I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.

She breathlessly pulled herself back after almost a minute, prompting me to ask, "What\'s that for? And why did you stop?"

Maybe it was the suspension bridge effect, or being in a life and death situation changed her mind. Right now, she didn\'t have the apprehension she had before and followed the mountain lion\'s example by pouncing on me.

"That\'s for saving me." She said before she bit her lip seductively, "And I\'m stopping because-" She almost kneeled on the ground as she reached for my pants, but I stopped her quickly.

"Not that I don\'t want it, but we should get out of here quickly as I don\'t know if there\'s only one predatory beast here." I muttered with some dissatisfaction towards myself.

Not that I had anything against doing things outdoors, we were still in a precarious situation.

She widened her eyes in realization and then blushed in embarrassment. She avoided her eyes and said guiltily, "That pulled me back to reality. Sorry Ed. I almost crossed the line-"

"What? No. Don\'t apologize. We\'re just changing the place, not stopping what we were about to do." I teased before I held her hand and we rushed down the hill. And the second we entered the pickup truck, she hesitated again.

"On second thought." She muttered guiltily as the hike down made her regain her sanity.

"Fuck!" I cursed regretfully. As I started the car engine and drove away from there, I was unaware of the pair of gleaming, jade green eyes in the dark bush watching me.

...

After dropping Allison off at her house, she hugged me lightly before saying pitifully, "Your hug is nice, but I think I need my mother\'s hug more."

"Oh. Where\'s she? Want me to drop you off?" I asked with a slight chuckle.

She thought for a while and said, "She\'s coming tomorrow. So I\'ll just wait."

I held her hand and said in concern, "Then, I think it\'s better for you to spend some time at our ranch. Maybe sleep there for one night until you feel better. I promised not to make a move while you\'re there."

She laughed a bit before saying, "I\'m not going to be alone. I\'ll just call my friend to sleep over at my place."

"Alright then." I muttered with a slight nod. She then bit her lips and said, "Also, you might not want to make a move, but I don\'t trust myself...so..."

I chuckled and brushed her stray hair behind her ear, "I\'ll remember the deal. You know, when I\'m legal, I will get my reward for today. I won\'t even care if you\'re married then."

She hit my arms lightly and said insincerely, "Stop it!" Then, she shot me a cheeky look before running towards her door. "Bye Ed."

"See you tomorrow." I waved her off before driving back to the ranch. As soon as I opened the door, I was confused when I saw a few people standing in the living room, all staring at me.

"Congratulations Ed!" My family shouted after a 10 second moment of silence.

"???" I was confused as hell, "Is that how you\'re trying to surprise people?"

Amy rolled her eyes and muttered her dissatisfaction, "I told them that. After an intense discussion, they decide to let you know first before shouting anything."

"Amy- Shhh!" Grandma Jules put her finger on Amy\'s lip.

"Why?" I asked. "Not that I\'m not grateful or anything."

"Well your grandma doesn\'t want you to get startled...incase...you know." Grandpa Sam exposed his wife.

I furrowed my eyebrows before letting out a long sigh. Then, I shook my feeling away before smiling and said, "Thanks you guys."

Maggie cleared her throat. I added, "...and girls." She nodded in satisfaction before shouting excitedly, "Your ALBUM HIT BIG!! You\'ve been on MTV for hours!"

I was a bit embarrassed when everyone praised me at the same time, and I enjoyed the small party my family did for me before receiving congratulatory calls from my friends and texts from my acquaintances.

"Uncle Aaron." I greeted curtly.

"Edward." Uncle Aaron did the same. Both of us didn\'t know how to face each other, making the atmosphere between us weird.

"By the way..." I said after a moment of silence before looking at my uncle up and down. "That\'s what you\'re wearing?"

He was wearing an oversized shirt, and also worn down jeans. Jeans actually looks good worn down, but in his case, it just looked old.

"What\'s wrong with my shirt?" He asked in surprise.

"Everything. You should pay more attention to your looks." I blurted out, and hid my comment inside my heart, \'No wonder your wife left you.\'

I made a one-sided promise to help him in creating a new image for himself despite his reluctance. After my grandma spoke in my favor, uncle Aaron finally relented.

"Well...Ed...now that you\'re rich as hell...do I still need to pay back-" Maggie tried to levy on her debt, but facing my murderous glare, she decided to shut up quickly. "Nevermind." She muttered.

"Good news. My lawyer texted me saying that the contact is now invalid. You are no longer an aspiring adult cinematography actress." I said.

She brightened up before slumping her shoulders down. I smiled at her misery and said, "So you no longer have any reason to NOT tell your parents about this."

"Can I postpone it one more day! Just ONE MORE DAY!" She begged tearfully.

"Sure." I nodded, causing her to gleam, "You can postpone it, but do you really think Amy will?"

Maggie was stunned and turned to look at her corpse-like sister who was breaking down every second from her dedication to protect the secret. Even her teeth were loose from the pressure.

Maggie finally gave up, and before she moved away, she whispered in my ear, "You know. I read that a lot of rich guys love to have young, sexy, slutty girlfriends as their plaything."

"And you want me to introduce you to them? Sorry, you won\'t make it-" I continued, causing her to hit my arm in anger. "I will if I want to! But that\'s not what I\'m trying to say."

"You\'re not aiming for my wealth and hoping for me to pamper you in California right?" I guessed with a horrified face. "Although the idea of a taboo relationship is a turn on, we\'re not living in Alabama, so Imma have to reject you right here."

"Oh. Your loss then." Maggie said non-committedly before trying to show her side. "Now that I think about it, maybe some other celebrities-"

"Get out of here." I scolded her and chased her away.

After finishing the short celebration, my grandpa called me out to the field. He was riding a brown horse while pulling the rein of a humongous black horse with him. Compared to the black horse, the already large brown horse looked like a foal.

"I wanted to introduce you guys again this morning, but you disappeared before I got there." Grandpa Sam said teasingly as he got off his horse.

I rubbed my head apologetically before the black horse moved closer towards me. Its towering height put his shadow on my body, blocking most of the sunlight at the same time.

"This is-" My grandpa tried to introduce.

"Stud right? Long time no see. Do you still remember me?" I rubbed the side of the horse\'s head while he lowered his head to look at me.

My grandpa almost stopped me from doing so at first, and was shocked when the aggressive horse was behaving meekly in front of me.

"How- Wait. Did he really remember you? That\'s why he\'s not letting anyone on his back for the past few years?" Grandpa muttered puzzledly as he saw I was bonding with the horse happily.

Even his own horse was trying to move closer towards me, but Stud was being possessive and snorted before moving his head violently, preventing the other horse from getting near.

"Neigh~~ (Stingy)" The brown horse snorted.

"Come on Brownie." Grandpa Sam said as he pulled the brown horse\'s rein to move further from Stud.

"You still remember how to put on a saddle?" He asked me. I shook my head slightly and said, "I never learned how."

"Well I\'m going to teach you that today. Then, maybe you can take Stud out for a ride."

"Alright. Let\'s get started." I smiled at my grandpa as he started to take off the already fixed saddle on Stud\'s body.

For tourists or casual riders, he might\'ve let them just ride the horse without going through the hassle, but to be a skilled rider, especially if he wanted me to have the opportunity to ride alone, he needed to impart the necessary skills on me first.

Or else, if and when an accident happened, I wouldn\'t be able to protect myself. He taught me how to escape tangled feet, how to use a knife to break free, and how to calm down the horse for almost an hour. When I was finally ready to ride the horse, it was already sunset.

"Well..." My grandpa took off his cowboy hat apologetically and scratched his forehead. "I think we should go back now. Or else, your grandma will rush over here with the shotgun."

I was shocked, "But, I haven\'t even ridden him yet!"

"You can do it early in the morning tomorrow, if you don\'t disappear again. Come on, I\'ll let you ride back to the stables."

"Ugh." I groaned and finally hopped on Stud\'s back. He was excited and suddenly started to run away, kidnapping me with him."

"Oh damn it! STUD, HEEL!" My grandpa quickly hopped on his horse and started chasing us.

...

It wasn\'t until a few hours after the sun went down that Edward returned home with his grandfather. His buttocks hurt from the ride, and he went to his room quickly to rest after taking a shower.

Edward fell asleep around 11, which was considered quite early for him even after having such a long day. After Maggie returned, Amy went to live in her home in town, leaving Edward to sleep alone in the room.

Edward has no objections about that at all, in fact, he gladly wanted to send her home himself.

The next morning, Uncle Aaron who had a promised appointment with Edward was ordered by Grandma Jules to wake him up for breakfast.

Ted had spent some time with Grandpa Sam last night, and was still hungover. Even though he promised not to drink anymore, Grandpa Sam saw that he was struggling, and decided to let him vent out his emotions.

"Edward-" As Aaron pulled the blanket, he was stunned when he saw a golden-furred beast sleeping beside Edward. He froze as the beast woke up and stared at him. Then, the beast ran away through the door without a sound, making Aaron feel that he was delusional again.

Edward rubbed his eyes as he woke up, "Oh. Uncle Aaron. Did Grandma ask you to wake me up? I\'ll be in the kitchen in a minute."

"Um...Ed...You slept...alone right?" Uncle Aaron asked a question that was confusing to Edward.

"Huh? Of course. Amy has already left- Are you okay? Or are you drunk?"