Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

Chapter 119: Chapter 119: SUS Sleepover.?

"Again. I\'m sooo sorry." Buddy the African-American cop apologized to Camila.

"I told you not to worry about it. Ed asked you to watch out for my car. If anything, I should thank you for keeping your word." Camila said with a smile before she took out a key from her jean pocket.

Both of them were standing in front of Edward\'s house as Buddy had escorted Camila\'s car and even helped her cheat traffic by blaring his siren as an apology to her for the previous \'misconduct\'. Not that it was necessary, but why wouldn\'t he abuse his power to do it when it could score him some points with the hot latina woman?

Camila opened the door and entered the rowdy house filled with cheers and promiscuous whistling from some strange men.

"Hmm? What\'s going on?" She muttered as she looked around the house. Buddy was also curious and wondered aloud, "Is Ted having a party?"

"I...don\'t think so." Camila shook her head as she knew that Ted wasn\'t the kind of man that would throw a wild party.

As the duo walked past the corridor towards the second living room, both of them were surprised when they saw a blonde woman wearing a bikini and twerking her bubble butt on a beefy construction worker\'s crotch while the rest were surrounding them and cheering them on.

"What in the fresh hell is this?!" Camila muttered with widened eyes and a gasp filled with disbelief.

"Hey who are you guys?" One of the construction crew members asked. "You can\'t be in here!"

"She\'s Edward\'s aunt Carlos. Besides that, you guys invited a stripper here and threw a party?! HAVE YOU GUYS LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!"

As the group fearfully shrank back at the cop\'s shouting, the \'stripper\' walked towards the duo and said, "Wait! I\'m not a stripper. I\'m Sal. Ted\'s...friend. I came by to surprise him, but he isn\'t home yet."

She then drunkenly walked to the couch, sitting seductively with her legs brought up. The construction guy automatically helped her fanned her sweaty chest as she threw her hair back. The 5 buff latino guys stood behind the sofa while Sal sat on the couch, which would make Edward spit his drink and flip out if he saw the very familiar sight.

"HUUUUHHH!!?" Camila exclaimed in confusion and anger, she rolled up her sleeves, wanting to throw the slut out of the house.

"Wait. You come here for Ted? So why are you...?" Buddy glanced at the construction crew who had turned into Sal\'s obedient dogs and were fawning all over her. One of them gave her a glass of wine, while two others were massaging her legs, and the last one was working on her shoulders.

"Well... Just in case, after all if he says no, I do need to have some backup." Sal said with a grin.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE PUTA!" Camila bursted out in anger and threw Sal out of the house like a drunk kitten.

At the same moment Ted was just coming home after driving Edward to a sleepover at a friend\'s house. As Sal stumbled, she took a few steps and landed right into Ted\'s arms, after he instinctively caught her stopping her fall. Noticing the familiar pecs on her hand as she caressed her savior\'s body, Sal slowly looked upward in expectation.

"Ted! You\'re a hard man to find. Did you work out? Your chest feels harder than before." Sal said seductively as she stuck herself close to Ted\'s body.

The construction workers left the house hurriedly in case Ted wanted to have a talk with them, and Buddy also moved away quietly as he received a radio ping from his walkie talkie.

"Ummm.." Ted was horrified when he noticed that Sal was there, and his anxiety doubled when he saw Camila looking at both of them with a disgusted look in her eyes.

"Wait. I didn\'t-"

"No need for an excuse Ted. My nephew isn\'t here, so I\'ll come meet him tomorrow. You...do what you want." Camila said while shaking her head slightly in disappointment. She walked to her car and drove away to her new rental house, leaving behind the nervous Ted and the tipsy Sal.

While poking his chest with her index finger, Sal whispered seductively, "So. I see you have a new hot tub. Should we break it in...nude style?" She slowly untied her bikini top strings, startling Ted.

"HELL NO!" Ted tried to cover her chest, but Sal had already taken her top off and was already walking drunkenly back inside the house so Ted followed her quickly from behind .

"WOO HOO! We\'re FINALLY GOING TO FUC-" Sal shouted before Ted tackled her and both of them fell onto the sofa.

"Oh my god yes! Be rougher! I waited for this for so long!" Sal said as she pulled Ted\'s head into her embrace, making him motorboat her while he was trying to free himself.

While Ted was \'suffering\' from the drunken girl assault, Pepper was sipping a cosmopolitan at a bar when he finally realized that one member of his group was gone.

"Where\' Sal?" Pepper asked while holding two margaritas.

Mitchell grabbed one of the drinks from him and hurriedly said, "I don\'t know. She might be hooking up with someone in the toilet again. You know how she is."

He took a sip and decided to dump all his frustration from the day, "Pepper. Can you believe it? I had to chase away 15...15!!... Young teenage couples to stop them from having intercourse in the bathroom today! The young generation has absolutely no decency. It seems to have been demoralized way...WAYY to much."

"Enough about that. I\'m asking you. What should I do now? I\'ve already proven myself worse than useless when Ed tried to find the rappers! Also for god\'s sake who the hell calls himself "M&M". Shouldn\'t they sue him for copyright infringement or something?!" Pepper asked exasperatingly as he was a bit drunk from the night\'s out with the rest of his friends.

"Well, that was expected after all you don\'t have any connections in that industry, none at all. Don\'t beat yourself up." Longinus said before turning to Mitchell and asked, "And you. Are you sure Cam\'s okay with you leaving him alone with the baby?"

Pepper interjected while Mitchell avoided Longines\'s stares, "You ARE RIGHT!! I know what I should do now!! I have to show off my connections to him. After all, I don\'t just know people in the music industry!"

"Huh? What are you planning to do?" Jotham, a bearded fellow with a scarf around his neck asked.

"A GALA! I WILL PLAN A GALA, JUST TO SHOW OFF!" Pepper said drunkenly.

"Pepper NO! You\'ll kill yourself!" Longines said hurriedly. A gala wasn\'t that easy to plan after all and even Pepper, for all his talk, would fall short when it came to getting the really big names in the fashion industry to show up.

Pepper came to his senses a bit and said, "What did I almost do?...Wait- The annual Versace summer time Gala! Fashion Designers! CEOs! Celebrities! I will make sure to get Ed invited there! As a VIP too! I have to get him the best Table. Mmmhhhhmmm it would be difficult though, maybe my mother can call one of her shrill bat-like friends..."

...

[Edward POV]

"Here Ed! Let me help you!" said Mrs Green, who was wearing a lime coloured, long sleeved blouse tucked into her ruby coloured skirt, as she opened the door soon after I rang the doorbell.

With a grunt, Mrs Green bent over to pick up the cello case from my hands.

"No It\'s okay Mrs Green. It\'s quite heavy." I said, trying to stop her.

She smiled despite her difficulty and said, "Nonsense. You\'re our guest. Of course- Hrmmm..." She grunted again as she dragged the cello case which was almost the same size as her through the threshold of the house before she continued, "O-Of course, I need to give you the best treatment."

I just smiled as she completely cut me off in trying to help her and sent me to the backyard of the house where Jacob was spending time with his viking-like dad.

"Come on! Punch harder!" Jacob\'s dad was wearing two pads on his hands while Jacob was in a boxing stance wearing boxing gloves as he hit the pads on his dad\'s hand.

I didn\'t say anything and sat down on a chair nearby, waiting for them to finish practicing.

"Come on Jacob! Don\'t pull your punches!" Mr Green said in frustration as Jacob was very reluctant to learn the self-defense techniques from him.

"Turn your upper body as you punch, put some weight behind your fist! Come on, again!" He said while trying to motivate Jacob. But as Jacob threw a few more half-hearted punches, he sighed and put his padding gloves down.

"Jacob. What\'s wrong? I thought you could finally learn how to fight now that you have already been in one." He asked.

"I- I don\'t know." Jacob replied in frustration while biting his lower lips.

Mr Green turned towards me and asked, "What about you? Do you know why that is?"

I pondered it for a while and replied, "Well...when he fought before, he actually had a reason to do so. I guess he just needs something solid to motivate him before he can finally swing his fist properly."

Mr Green sighed before he slammed his pads together and asked, "What do you think Ed? Wanna go a few rounds?"

"Well I haven\'t taken a bath yet, so I guess I can play around for a while." I replied before I stood up and casually walked to Jacob. He bit off his left hand gloves string and untied them before giving the gloves to me while having an awkward expression on his face.

"What happened Jacob? Are you embarrassed?" Suddenly, a tiny, almost feminine voice I had never heard before was coming from the side. My whole body was startled and I automatically entered my full guard posture and turned towards the source.

There, I saw a 10 year old boy frozen as my fist was almost connected to his face. The good looking, black haired boy with a feminine figure and a long bang that covered his forehead, took a few steps back and said begrudgingly, "Hey!! What was that for?"

"Well you surprised me. Where did you come from Dean?" I asked the kid. He was surprised and said angrily, "I WAS SITTING NEXT TO YOU!!"

My [Prank Proof] skill didn\'t activate, so I knew he wasn\'t lying. Still, the little shit startled me a lot.

\'But, has he achieved such mastery in the art of stealth that even I can\'t notice him with my batman skill? Or am I just too tired?\' I thought secretly as I ruffled the kid\'s hair.

Dean was the boy who was frozen in front of the TV when the girls came in to study at Jacob\'s house before. Like his brother, he also has a pathological fear of women, and it is even worse for him compared to his 6 foot 1 brother as he was always getting surrounded by girls thanks to his good looks and shy demeanor around them.

Mr Green laughed and said, "Don\'t mind Dean. He\'s always popping out from strange places."

"I WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME YOU GUYS WERE PRACTICING!" He shouted and harrumphed away in frustration. I laughed a bit before I turned to Mr Green with the boxing gloves neatly worn in my hands.

"I\'m ready." I said.

"Good. We\'ll start with a \'One-Two punch. Like this-" He tried to show me an example, but I interjected and said, "Wait Mr Green. My dad already taught me. Also, I could be considered a black belt in Karate, so you don\'t have to go easy on me."

"Ooo Really?" Mr Green was a bit impressed and he couldn\'t help but take a glance at Jacob before he sighed again.

I punched the padding skillfully a few times as a warm up before adding the footsteps in. Mr Green smiled widely and instructed, "Left, Right, Left, Right, Hook, Duck!"

He swung his left hand on top of my body, which I avoided by ducking skillfully.

"Very good! Now uppercut!" He said as he positioned the padding in front of him. I did a left hand uppercut, which caused Mr Green to take a step back in shock from the force behind my attack.

"You- How long have you been practicing?" Mr Green asked as he started to feel some slight tinge of pain in his hand from my constant punches.

"Not that long. A year maybe." I lied.

The reason why the punch started to hurt him even with the paddings on his hands was because my karate skill was taken directly from History\'s Strongest Disciple– which learned the skill from the best Karate Master in the world who could fight a great white shark with his bare hands.

I didn\'t notice it, but the karate anime BS techniques had unconsciously seeped out into my boxing as I sparred with Mr Green. That was why his hands started hurting. To save himself from the embarrassment, Mr Green said, "Good Job Ed. There\'s nothing more to teach you. Maybe you can even join some amateur competition with your skills."

"Oh. We\'re done?" I asked in confusion as I saw him taking off his paddings.

"Well...We are. I only wanted to check your level. Come, you need some protein after working out."

"But I\'ve already had dinner-"

"And you burned off the calories in the practice. So you need to eat again." he said with a grin. Jacob smiled cheerily and said, "Mom did make a special T-bone steak for us because you were coming today!"

"Wait! I told you I would come after dinner." I widened my eyes in surprise and started to feel a bit guilty.

"Don\'t worry Ed. Kitty has been so excited for Jacob\'s first sleepover that she just decided to cook on her own." Mr Green said as he wiped his sweat with a small white towel.

The dinner was great, and Mrs Green was a good cook. My only complaint was that everything on the dining table was some pretty heavy stuff. She made yam, mashed potatoes, fries, coleslaw, fried chicken, T-bone steak, and a few other high calorie foods.

"No wonder Jacob is so big. Hell, it\'s a wonder he isn\'t fat." I mumbled to myself as I stuffed the cut up steak into my mouth. I didn\'t realize that they were also shocked by the amount of food I could eat, especially Mrs Green as she kept putting more and more food on my plate. Suffice to say, it was a feast.

"Hmm. at times like this, I miss Laurie." Kitty said suddenly.

"Laurie?" I asked in confusion.

Kitty turned to Jacob in surprise and said, "You didn\'t tell him?"

"About what? My slutty, college girl sister? No thanks. This guys is actually a-"

Jacob met my eyes as he continued speaking, and instantly shut up as he noticed the malicious intent behind my kind and smiling eyes.

"Has a what?" Kitty asked in confusion.

"N-Nothing-Nothing. This yams sure a-are great huh." Jacob said before stuffing his mouth full of yams.

"Has a what, Jacob?" Kitty asked again assertively this time. Jacob opened his fully stuffed mouth and muttered incomprehensibly, "Yumpth Shmm Re Ghout (Yams sure are great)"

"Urgh." Kitty groaned at the revolting sight before turning to me with a sweet smile on her face and explained, "Laurie isn\'t a slut."

Jacob choked on his food as he was shocked by his mother\'s words, and drank some water quickly.

Kitty ignored him and continued, "She went to college this year-"

"And didn\'t think about coming back home for almost a year." Mr Green said gruffly as he was dissatisfied by his daughter\'s behavior.

"Oh. Does she study far away?" I asked.

"Nah, she\'s only two towns away." Dean replied while taking some small bites of his steak. Half an hour of eating, and he didn\'t even finish a quarter of his first serving while Mr Green, Jacob and I were on our second one.

"Come to think of it. The semester\'s over. So she will come home soon." Mrs Green said excitedly. I smiled and listened to some of Jacob\'s embarrassing stories before we were shunted off into Jacob\'s room. After I cleaned myself up and changed into my pajamas, I sat down on the bed while Jacob was going to sleep on the air-matress on the floor.

"Why the cello?" He asked as he brought my cello case into the room.

"For fun." I replied with a mischievous smile. He was taken aback for a while, and then he opened up the case. "Wait. This isn\'t a cello-"

"Of course it isn\'t genius." I rolled my eyes at him before walking to the case and took out the Playstation 2 I had just bought and a flat screen monitor. "Your mom almost gave me a heart attack when she accidentally slammed it down on the floor before."

"You\'re smuggling contraband into my house?!" Jacob asked in surprise as he saw multiple PG 18 movies inside the cello case and a small dvd player.

"Of course. It won\'t be a boy\'s night without it." I said with a laugh before setting up the whole thing. Jacob was excited the whole time and we played WWE Smackdown for a while before he suddenly paused the game as I completely obliterated him in the match.

"Did you know?" He asked in a tiny voice.

I was silent for a while before I replied, "I knew."

"Who told you?"

"No one. I checked the list."

It was no coincidence that I came here today. This morning before the party, the football team name list for those who passed the recruitment came out, and unfortunately Jacob couldn\'t make the team.

He had been trying out for 3 years, but he was always one stop short as he was too gentle with his opponents in the field. Despite his large stature, the coach couldn\'t actually bring him into the team as his nature would prevent the team from winning due to his lack of bravery.

"You\'d be better off opening a potato farm." I mocked while laughing. But Jacob took that advice seriously and said, "You know. My grandma has a potato farm."

That was why his dad was training him in self-defense before. To see if he could change his nature a bit before next year\'s tryouts. Although he pretended to be tough around Elsa, he couldn\'t do the same thing on the field.

"I don\'t know what went wrong. At Jenna\'s party before, I could run and tackle someone with my entire body, but in the tryouts, I just froze." He said casually while we continued fighting in the game. My Undertaker character took a steel chair and bashed his Batista character in the head, splattering blood on the ring as he bled.

"Damn, you ain\'t going easy on me." Jacob gritted his teeth and bashed his X button repeatedly to avoid getting pinned down by my character.

"Of course not. This ain\'t a pity party! It\'s a skull cracking party!" I said with a cackle as my Undertaker character completely pinned Batista on the ground, and won the match!

Jacob laughed with tears coming out of his eyes. We played for a few more times and watched an R rated movie before going to sleep at 3 am. The lights were turned off as we laid down on our beds.

But before I could activate my [Rest] skill, Jacob suddenly called me from afar, "Hey."

"Hmm."

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Coming over to cheer me up."

"Dude I\'m basically homeless now. And I didn\'t come to cheer you up. I come here to mock you while you\'re down."

He laughed before we fell into silence again only for him to say, "You know. I don\'t even know if I want to play football."

"Then, why did you decide to try out?" I asked.

"I don\'t know. My dad never tried to force me and repeatedly told me if it was okay for me not to play, but..."

"But?"

"I don\'t know." Jacob said, confused by his own feelings about the game.

"Are you...passionate about it?" I asked.

"Well...I do love football." He said.

"Then, you should try again next year." I said casually. He sat up from the air mattress and turned his head towards me in confusion, "What? Shouldn\'t I just stop now?"

"Why do you want to stop? If you love it, then try it again. And then again. And then again." I turned my head towards him and said lazily. He was abashed and he rubbed the back of his head before he said, "I...Can I really make the team?"

"You know, you went crazy when you saw me almost getting hurt in the fight. So my guess is you ain\'t built to attack. Maybe...you need to play defensive line, instead of focusing on getting through to take down the opposing QB just try to hold the line and keep your guys safe."

"I tried to play defense too, but it still didn\'t work out." He said. " "I\'m a pushover," the coach said. Enough, let\'s go to sleep. Don\'t bring this up again. Talking about this whole thing is making me depressed."

I shook my head and laid it down on the pillow. As I looked up at the ceiling, I said with a smile, "You know. I got your back."

"What?" He asked, confused.

"In the fight. You had my back, even when I didn\'t ask you to."

Jacob was silent, and I continued, "So...I\'m going to have your back on this too. Whether you like it or not, I will bring this shit up, until you\'re finally ready to go and do your best on the field."

"Why?" He asked in a tiny voice, akin to a whisper.

"Free tickets to the NFL of course!" I replied teasingly. He finally laughed again and said, "It\'ll take a long time."

"Take as long as you need."

"I might give up soon and open up a potato farm."

"I will make sure you don\'t. Also, you can do both when you\'re rich after your football contract leaves you with millions."

His eyes suddenly lit up and he said, "Then, come with me to the next try-outs!"

"Dude, I\'m already busy as fuck." I replied. He turned downcast again, but I added, "But sure. I will play along with you next year in highschool."

"NICEE! YOSHHHH! I WILL DO IT!!! I WILL FUCKING DO IT THIS TIMEEEE!" He shouted out loud as he stood up abruptly, startling all the people in this house and the next door neighbor\'s house.

"JACOB GREEN! WHY ARE YOU YELLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!" Kitty shouted from afar. "Are you boys roughhousing! Don\'t make me come up there! There will be no more sleepovers if I have to go up there!" She added.

"Sorry Mrs Green!" I shouted quickly.

"Sorry mom!" Jacob shouted with me.

We both laughed as the house finally calmed down, but Mrs Green chimed in again, "GO TO SLEEP BOYS! I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING!"

"YES MRS GREEN/MOM!" Both of us answered at the same time.