My Father in Law is Lu Bu

Sun Ce’s POV

Inside Sun Ce’s main camp, the only thing that filled the air was Sun Ce screaming “ZHOU TAI DEAD? THE FUCK IS THIS NEWS?”

Sun Ce could not believe what had happened, but once he saw Zhou Tai’s and Zhou Cheng ‘s head hanging outside of Wancheng city, he had no choice but to believe this news.

Although the death of his generals was very surprising, the most surprising detail was that that the Prince of Shu Liu Mang sent a meatloaf dish unexpectedly!

The messenger said that this was dog meat. (delicacy?!) Sun Ce vomited after he realized whose meat he just ate. “I ATE ZHOU TAI’S MEAT!!! UPH, UARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! ”

After he finished vomiting, he exclaimed loudly while turning over his table “DAMN YOU, LU BU, LIU MANG!!!! YOU MADE ME EAT ZHOU TAI’S MEAT!!! YOU”VE GONE TOO FAR!!! I WANT ONE OF YOUR NAVY GENERAL’S BLOOD NOW, IN EXCHANGE FOR ZHOU TAI!!!!”

With Zhou Tai dying, this is a big loss for Sun Ce! He was one of his generals that managed to breakthrough into superclass strength and can be counted as peers among Sun Ce and Taishi Ci.

But now he is dead in Wancheng city, and a piece of him was just eaten by Sun Ce. Zhou Tai’s death was not only piece of bad news that Sun Ce got. The Zhou clan was now on their last legs in Shucheng County, severely lacking grain and provisions, Shucheng County would be broken at any time.

The Zhou clan already lost a prominent member Zhou Cheng. Sun Ce will not let the extermination of the Zhou clan to happen, because Zhou clan is Gongjin’s clansmen.

Sun Ce then exclaimed “BEAT THE DRUM, ALL OFFICERS TO ATTEND FOR BRIEFING!!!”

Shortly, all of the generals and civil officials gathered in Sun Ce’s main camp.

“Hear my order, we will make our move tonight! All of you, prepare for an ambush toward Wancheng city Navy HQ. I WANT TO SIEGE WANCHENG CITY ASAP!!!” Sun Ce screamed.

“YES, SIR!!!” The generals made a happy expression. They had been itching to go to war in order to gain merit, while the civil officials wrinkled their brow, because they needed to allocate their own grain and provisions for military purposes.

With Sun Ce on the move, all of Jiangdong’s nobles lead by the Sun clan on crusade again against Lu Bu, wrote a comprehensive “Sin Manifesto”. This was the document they would read in front of Lu Bu when he has been captured. They sent it to every corner of the nation so all of the nobles can read it and agree with their justice.

That manifesto Read:

“Rebels do not die natural deaths! A new rebel of this nation has arisen. His name is Lu Bu. He is a calamity and a monster. We request for all nobles to join hands in order to destroy this rebel. This particular monster is as vicious and licentious like King Jie of the Xia Dynasty and King Zhou of the Shang Dynasty. This Lu Bu does not have any sense of honor. He is destroying livelihood, disrupting justice, and stomping on humanity. Our hatred for this man is unbearable, he is a disaster for Jiangdong, a disaster of Lujiang, a disaster of all China, and a disaster of Four Seas. We are now enforcing justice on behalf of Heaven, eliminating this abomination.

Lu Bu is a wolf from the north, he lived in the border of the Great Wall. His ferocity knows no bounds! He murdered his adoptive fathers in cold blood therefore, obtaining the title of the slave of three surnames. Now he has entered Lujiang Prefecture and his slaughter continues. 10,000 families were slaughtered, their bodies amounted to tens of thousands. This is a mass-murder; a genocide.

During the Three sovereigns and Five Emperors period when they ruled this country, from the creation of the Xia Dynasty Yu the Great conqueror of the flood, to Cheng Tang founder of Shang Dynasty, by destroying King Jie the last ruler of the Xia Dynasty under the name of humanity, to the destruction of the Shang Dynasty by King Wen (Jichang), founder of Zhou Dynasty, all of these were under the name of justice. These series of purifications led to Duke Zhou writing a moral code for us to follow today.

This Lu Bu has angered the people, stomping at that moral code, humanity and justice. If our sage teachers Confucius, Mencius and all of our pre-Qin teachers are still alive right now, they would weep until their tears turned to blood. They would speak “Alas, humanity and justice were not upheld anymore! This Lu Bu is an uneducated brute, vulgar, and inhumane. In the name of justice and humanity, all of nobles, please join us destroying this rebel!”

Lu Bu, a traitor, thief, stray dog, a usurper and a slave of three surnames. He is barking wildly before us nobles. With dirty tricks, vulgar plans, poisonous planning and his ruthlessness as a wolf, we are in a grave danger. The Morale code is on verge of collapsing, loyalty and filial piety has been abandoned, and justice and humanity is almost no more.

We hope that our scream will reached ninth heavens. We ask for the gods and goddesses who cares for all living beings to help us in our crusade to smite down this beastly brute. If we let this abomination run amok, there will be no more of us.

This kind of person is just a leech, a parasite hated by everyone. He is hated by the gods and people and should be eliminated.

With all of that sins weighing on him, we announce his crimes:

First crime: Lu Bu only concerned about profit, disregarding righteousness and justice

Second crime: Causing chaos and disrupting balance in this nation

Third crime: Lu Bu is a ruthless character, hiding a dagger behind his smile

Fourth crime: Lu Bu did not uphold his ancestors, disrespecting all of sage’s teachings

Fifth crime: Vulgar speech, rude towards everyone and disloyal in his words

Sixth crime: Lying to the public, distorting facts

Seventh crime: Being a man of violence with destructive behavior.

With seven crimes like this, even amnesty will not help him. This man should be cut down.

Lu Bu is a usurper and wicked man, who will face retribution as a criminal. All those who are are involved with him are considered as insects, all of them brings the plague; calamity like locusts. They are the kinds of people that will turn deer into a horse.

With this manifesto, we asked for all of the nobles to rise to destroy these villains. Put aside our difference and ambitions now and join our hands, help us eliminate this rebel in the name of heaven.

Just like when King of Yue country destroyed Wu country until King of Wu country committed suicide, we must execute this traitor by dismemberment.

TL: Turn deer into a horse. See, second emperor of Qin Dynasty in Wikipedia.

This person is a usurper, a wicked villain, inviting anger from all people! If this kind of person is not evil, then what else is!? We will go through fire and water in order to kill this heinous monster and rid evil from this earth just like Dong Zhuo.

In addition: Beside Lu Bu there is Chen Gong, Zhang Liao, Gao Shun, Chen Deng, all of them are also monsters. Chen Gong and Zhang Liao are villainous duo, accomplices to that usurper! Gao Shun, his heart only beats for Lu Bu and has become an extension of his evil will! Chen Deng, is a sly person, not straight, originally wanted to kill Lu Bu, now is helping Lu Bu, is also a villain. These people are five poisons of our country! Their army only seeks gain, they are parasites, they are cowards, and they are group of villains. There is no need to fear them!

We have received divinations from the gods. The gods are on our side in this battle! Do not fear this Lu Bu, we are all standing beside you. This manifesto is the call for a crusade; a coalition. We must destroy this rebel completely. We are calling for heroes from all directions, from all the nine provinces to be come together in this great task.

We are enforcing justice on behalf of Heaven. Gods will bless us with an invincible force. When we destroyed him, we will destroy his ancestors up to three generations, wiped out his clan.

We shall enforce ancient execution by pulling their bodies with wagons, death by a thousand cuts.

We shall take their skulls as trophies for this crusade and we shall tell all of this nation: This is the way a rebel and wicked man dies. We swore our oath not to stop at any cost in this crusade.

Alerting once more: To those soldiers and generals who have fallen in this crusade! All of your sacrifice is worthy, all of your blood has become our reasons to do this crusade. We all nobles thankful for all of your sacrifices!!!” That is the Sin Manifesto that is created by nobles.

TL: HELL MANIFESTO. ANCIENT FUCKING LANGUAGE, STUCK FOR GODDAMNED 4 DAYS JUST TO TRANSLATE THAT PARAGRAPH!!! (Sorry everyone, I need to blow off some steam)

This manifesto truly surprised the entire nation. Since the beginning of times of war in this Eastern Han Dynasty to its final moments, there has never among warlords that the nobles resented so much that they issued a Sin Manifesto in order to smite that particular person.

This Jiangdong’s nobles’ manifesto although Lu Bu was insulted everywhere, not a single sentence mentioned Liu Mang. That is because Liu Mang is the Prince of Shu, his influence is as big as Liu Biao, Liu Bei and Liu Zhang, who share the same ancestors that harked from Hanzhong (Liu Bang). So, even if they committed crime, they cannot eliminate or bad-mouth the Han Dynasty’s clansmen. Even though the Han Dynasty’s prestige is already weak, everybody obeys this unspoken rule.

But Lu Bu is not one of Han Dynasty clansmen, so they are free to insult Lu Bu as much as they can. Those insults are, Lu Bu is slave of three surnames, Lu Bu is a mass-murderer. He is a bane from Bing Province, wicked, uneducated, uncultured person and a beast.

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POV, Wancheng city’s Naval HQ

100,000 troops of Sun Ce’s army are heading toward Wancheng city’s navy HQ. Their ships are so many that it formed a bridge from one side of the river to another.

With Sun Ce massive army moving, Lu Bu’s navy quickly obtained the news. Su Fei now at the guard outpost while looking at those 100,000 troops. Su Fei just held his breath, looking that many troops and ships.

“Has General Gan already left the port?!” Su Fei now truly believes that he cannot win this naval battle, but even with that disadvantage, Su Fei still wants to fight in order to give courage and morale. Su Fei used to do battle with Jiangdong’s naval unit when he was still in Jiangxia. But at that time, Sun Ce only dispatched 10,000 troops to fight with him and although at that time he only have 5,000 naval troops, he can still cope with him. Now Sun Ce is truly crazy, determined to revenge for his loss so he dispatched 100,000 troops against him.

100,000 troops is so much that if they spat on this 2,000 troops, they will drown.

“Yes, General Su. General Gan has already left the port as per little lord’s order!” The nearby naval major replied. After Liu Mang made Zhou Tai into meatloaf, he quickly instructed Gan Ning to install all battleship with oxybeles and leave the ports ASAP. Installing oxybeles will need a lot of time, and if they still stayed at Wancheng city naval HQ, the enemy might discover this secret weapon. So they might as well avoid the battle first. When 20 large ships already had the oxybeles installed, Sun Ce’s navy will be dead.

“Good then! Everyone prepare themselves! At the worst case, we may have to burn this naval base and retreat toward Wancheng city!” Su Fei’s heart had already gotten cold. Because the naval base can be built again, but these naval soldiers are irreplaceable. If they suffered big casualties, it will be impossible for them to form naval troops again for a long time.

“Yes sir!” The major quickly went after receiving order.

Sun Ce’s army made their first offense. The one who lead the attack is a strong young man, under his leadership many of the large ships brandished their flags quickly heading toward Wancheng city.

With the river being filled with Sun Ce naval units, this Su Fei truly anxious. He only had 2,000 troops under him to fight Sun Ce’s navy.

“General Su, I request for us to retreat!” The major who already looked at the situation, quickly requested Su Fei, how can 2,000 troops fight against 100,000 troops?

“No, for whatever reasons, we cannot retreat!” Su Fei is the navy commander, for whatever the reason, he cannot leave his position as a gate commander to Wancheng city. Regarding Gan Ning, he is the second commander so, it is feasible for him to leave the port to avoid the battle, so with Gan Ning already left the port, Su Fei is the only one who stands between them, if they avoid battle again, then Sun Ce army will reach Wancheng city very quickly therefore their new weapon will not be able to be installed due to being sieged.

Avoiding battle is definitely not Su Fei’s habit.

Moreover, Su Fei, Gan Ning and Huang Zhong just joined Lu Bu army, if they avoid battle again, they will be stuck at the lower level in Lu Bu army.

As those Sun Ce navy got nearer and nearer, its pressure became bigger and bigger. Su Fei took a deep breath in order to calm himself. Su Fei is the spirit of their forces. If the general is already in fear, how can those soldiers fight for him?

“Raise the bow!” Su Fei ordered those 2,000 naval soldiers to raise the bow. Archery is one of the skills that naval soldiers should have beside familiarity with water. However Su Fei’s current naval soldiers is very weak in terms of archery but they are really good in inducing fire attack with arrows and very good in close-quarters battle, so this is also a practice for them.

“COME ON!!!! Let me be the first one to see, how much progress that you, Jiangdong Navy had made!”

Jiangdong’s navy are getting much closer. From 1,000 steps until 100 steps. From 100 steps, a soldier with good vision can already see enemies’ faces. Lu Bu’s navy now facing five large ships of Jiangdong’s navy.

“Pew, pew, pew!!!!” Jiangdong navy made the initiative attack from five large ships. Although Wancheng city naval base only as a transit harbor, Sun Ce has widened its width so they can at least fit five large ships.

On those five large ships, all soldiers are equipped with bows except those whose role is a helmsman. So the arrows from those five large ships are so many that it blotted out the sky.

“AAHHHHH!!!” On the naval base, some people are wounded due from first wave of exchange.

Getting nearer and nearer, the second wave of arrows rain immediately, this time, they started to suffer casualties.

“General, let us shoot!!!” Said the major anxiously. Lu Bu’s naval units currently only have 2,000 troops, the maximum number of casualties that they can afford only amounted to 100 troops and by the second wave of arrow, they already lost at least 80 troops.

But Su Fei just kept silent and muttered in low voice "80 steps! 70 steps!”

And then came enemy’s third wave causing very pitiful sound of anguish “AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”

With that, Su Fei’s soldiers’ fear and anxiety disappeared. Their comrades’ casualties have filled their belly with anger and wanted to shoot those Jiangdong navy’s soldier, but without Su Fei’s order, they are just on standby.

“60 steps! 50 steps!!!” Su Fei’s eyes is flashing dangerously now. With they are nearing, the fourth arrow wave also fell, but this time, because the distance was very near, it did not have the power like three waves before.

“40 steps!!! SHOOT NOW!!!” Su Fei roared his orders. Those naval soldiers had suffered casualties more than 200 troops. Now with only 1800 troops, they all expressing their anger “Whiz!!! Whiz!!! Whiz!!!”

“AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!” Now Jiangdong navy also screaming pitiful yells.

An arrows maximum distance can reach 100 steps, but it needed strong people to pull the bow and arrow in order for 100 steps to be effective for killing, regular soldier cannot have that ability. So, therefore when at 100 steps, when those arrows blotted out the sky, it is only for scaring Su Fei’s army, the lethality is low.

When it reach 80 steps and 70 steps, arrows of veterans can finally reach them. But because of the initial attack, Su Fe army was already not afraid of that, even more, when they had casualties, their anger just peaked.

All of them started resembled monsters that you did not want meet in battle. It is just like when someone punches you the first time, you will still feel scared, but when second and third punches connect, you will start to counterattack due to anger. This is the effect that Su Fei wanted to have on his men, he planted anger so deep that they want to counter-attack.

And why 40 steps? This is the best firing distance for regular people. It guarantees that each of those arrows will hit and injured Sun Ce’s army.

Although Su Fei’s unit is only a few but the width of the river is narrow. With those as advantages, 1,800 troops can perform an arrow rain that also blots out the sky, added with anger, Sun Ce’s army truly bad luck.

Also, pulling a bowstring in order to shoot, requires big strength. After shooting three times, you will be fatigued and your accuracy will drop considerably, so the enemy is tired and now it is my turn to shoot back.

Above the large ship, some people already become human hedgehogs and fell down into water.

Those five large ships seeing many casualties, quickly removed the plank and quickly retreated.

“What does Jiangdong navy want to do?!” Su Fei was truly doubtful now. During his battle with Jiangdong army as Jiangxia naval general, he already concluded that Jiangdong navy is a water dragon! Even with only one person left, they dare to charge. How could they possibly retreat with only one wave of attack?

Moreover, the one who attacked first is Sun Ce’s army. Now, only because of a counterattack by Su Fei army, they quickly retreated!

So Su Fei can only concluded that “Is this a feint?!”