I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

The Sage I

Today, let’s talk about mirrors.

Last time, we discussed the most famous ship in the world. Today’s story is about the most famous mirror: the ‘Magic Mirror’ from the Snow White fairy tale, the one used for beauty care.

- Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

- For the 3,714th time, there is none fairer than the queen. Please stop asking.

In essence, the magic mirror had a database, statistics, and AI capabilities to search up all humans on Earth.

Humanity had already invented ChatGPT centuries ago. However, instead of investing this incredible lost technology in domestic politics, the queen used it for ego searching. The history of politicians getting distracted by their smartphones is ancient.

Come to think of it, it’s quite a wise fairy tale. Even if the most powerful tool is given to humans, they will ultimately use it for ‘searching.’

If the Brothers Grimm were alive today and saw social media, wouldn’t they proudly say, “See, we were right”?

“Undertaker, Your Excellency.”

“Hmm? What’s up?”

However, even the Brothers Grimm couldn’t have predicted this.

One day, Yu Ji-won came to me and said, “I think I’ve discovered a new monster.”

“A new monster?”

“Yes, but it’s a bit unusual.”

It was the 7th cycle. At that time, the Ten Legs still ruled the Korean Peninsula as the final boss, and Old Man Scho still had hopes and dreams.

Originally, I worked under Dang Seo-rin as the vice guild leader, but from the 7th cycle onward, I began my path of independence. It was because Old Man Scho persuaded me to start a business together.

Like someone who leaves a big company to join a startup, my life was a bit tangled. However, Yu Ji-won still visited me weekly for chats, like an investor who believes in micro-adjustments and buying the dip, convinced that “The fact is, the regressor is getting healthier.”

Many suspected Yu Ji-won and I were dating due to these frequent meetings.

Old Man Scho was a prime example. How ironic. This old man never really helped my life at all.

“What’s so unusual about it?”

“Well, it’s hard to describe. Ah, would you like to come and see after eating?”

And so I went.

This ‘new monster’ was surprisingly located in Yu Ji-won’s private room. It was in the middle of a room filled with books, with nothing but a bookshelf for furniture.

I frowned. “...A mirror?”

The anomaly was a full-length mirror.

“Yes. I found it by chance while walking and brought it back. It’s rare to find a mirror so clean and spotless these days.”

“No... Haven’t you heard the old saying not to pick up or even look at discarded mirrors because they’re bad luck?”

“I don’t believe in such superstitions,” stated firmly the wise investor who had staked her entire fortune on the regressor’s coin.

At the time, I had not yet figured out the correlation between anomalies and curses, so I just clicked my tongue. “Why? Is it a portal to another world?”

“No. Look.” Yu Ji-won approached the mirror. “Mirror, mirror.”

She was whispering to the mirror.

I wondered if she had another mental illness hidden under her psychopathy, but then something surprising happened.

- Please die immediately.

“Huh?”

- Please die immediately.

The mirror responded.

Yu Ji-won turned to me, surprised. “Did you hear that?”

“Uh, yeah. I heard it.”

“I tested it with my guild members, and they all got the same response.”

“Told to die immediately?”

“Yes. All 36 members of the Samcheon World guild received the same answer.”

“...It’s really a cursed object.”

“Is that so?”

Yu Ji-won was indifferent. She kept a clearly cursed object in her private room, a testament to her unique mindset.

“Anyway, it seemed too unusual to handle carelessly, so I sought your advice,” she said matter-of-factly. “Mishandling it could lead to trouble. You’re an expert in this field, right, Undertaker?”

“Hmm.”

“What do you think is the best way to deal with this?”

“...How about putting it back where you found it? Unless it has legs, it won’t follow you.”

“Indeed. A wise decision.”

Three days later.

“Your Excellency, there’s a minor problem.”

“...Now what?”

“As per your guidance, I disposed of the mirror. But now the bathroom mirror is giving the same response.”

“What?”

According to Yu Ji-won’s testimony, she had really thrown away the cursed mirror. Then, the bathroom mirror she saw first thing in the morning gave the same curse.

- Please die immediately.

The mirror repeated the same words.

Naturally, Yu Ji-won also removed and discarded this bathroom mirror. The next day, Yu Ji-won went to Dang Seo-rin’s office to report in, and when she glanced at the desk mirror there...

- Please die immediately.

Yu Ji-won finally realized.

The anomaly did not reside in a specific mirror. It transformed whichever mirror Yu Ji-won looked at first each day into a cursed one.

“What... What kind of principle is that?”

The novice regressor of the 7th cycle was confused.

“Why do mirrors turn weird when you look at them?”

“I don’t know either,” she replied.

“And the mirror talks? Like some fairytale magic mirror―”

I stopped talking. I had just noticed something about Yu Ji-won’s appearance. More precisely, I had re-registered the color of her hair.

“......”

“Your Excellency? Why are you looking at me like that?”

* The mirror talks.

* Her silver hair is like freshly fallen snow.

* Among all the people I’ve seen in my life, her face is the most refined.

* I could exaggerate a bit and say she is the ‘fairest of them all’.

“Oh....”

I couldn’t help but sigh. A conclusion quickly formed in my mind.

“......?”

That’s right.

Yu Ji-won.

This psychopath was the Snow White of the Korean Peninsula.

Mirrors have no eyes.

So it would be unreasonable to ask an anomaly that mistook Yu Ji-won for Snow White if it was blind. Insulting a truly eyeless entity would be a slur. As the Undertaker, I did not casually insult anyone other than Old Man Scho, Yu Ji-won, and Sim Ah-ryeon.

- Please die immediately.

“Hmm.”

- Please die immediately.

“......”

But something was off. The anomaly was too passive for a monster.

Even in the 7th and 8th cycles, the Magic Mirror didn’t cause any particular trouble. It just passively suggested suicide, which was unpleasant but not overly aggressive compared to other anomalies actively ending human lives.

This raised the question: ‘What exactly does this anomaly do?’

As far as I knew, the Magic Mirror in Snow White was an AI that kindly answered questions, not some suicide advocate.

“Mirror, mirror, what are you?”

- Please die immediately.

“Mirror, mirror, would Bitcoin have hit 300 million if civilization were intact?”

- Please die immediately.

“Mirror, do you want to die?”

- Please die immediately.

“......”

Unlike the fairy tale, the Magic Mirror responded consistently to any question. It would have made an excellent spokesperson for a politician.

However, it wasn’t just a recorder repeating predetermined responses.

“Wow? Old man, it speaks German too!”

Surprisingly, when Old Man Scho stood in front of the mirror, it suggested suicide in German.

The mirror’s language proficiency wasn’t limited to Korean and German. We later brought in magical girls, and it fluently responded in Japanese. Hindi. Russian. Filipino. Arabic. French. Chinese. Portuguese. Vietnamese. Spanish. Swahili. There was no language the mirror couldn’t speak. It truly was the most advanced AI in history.

‘So it understands its counterpart. But why doesn’t its response change based on the person?’

Sometime later, I first got a clue to this mystery centuries later, in the 41st cycle.

“Ji-won, how have you been?”

“Thanks to your care, I’m doing fine in Samcheon World.”

“Is the mirror still the same?”

“Yes. Since there’s no point in discarding it, I just leave it alone.”

I walked past the full-length mirror without a second thought. I didn’t look directly at it, just glanced at it.

Then.

- Next time, get infected with Udumbara before dying.

I passed by without much thought but then stopped abruptly.

“Huh?”

“Hm?”

Yu Ji-won and I spoke simultaneously. Then our eyes met.

“Ji-won, did you...?”

“Yes, I heard it too.”

I approached the mirror again, just to be sure.

Then.

- Next time, get infected with Udumbara before dying.

It changed. For centuries, the mirror had given the same response to everyone, but now it was different.

“Ji-won, come here.”

“Understood.”

Yu Ji-won and I switched places.

- Please die immediately.

Then it gave the usual response.

Yu Ji-won nodded expressionlessly. “How strange. I’ll bring others to test it.”

Dozens of members from Samcheon World, including Dang Seo-rin, were brought for testing. The results were the same. Everyone except me received the response, “Please die immediately.”

Conclusion:

“It seems the mirror’s response only changes for the Undertaker.”

“......”

“This again proves that the Undertaker is special. But may I ask, what is Udumbara, Your Excellency?”

“Oh.”

Sharp readers might recall that the 41st cycle was when I first defeated Udumbara. Naturally, except for me and the Saintess, no one knew about Udumbara. I eradicated it before it fully bloomed and spread the New Buddha virus.

“That’s a World Tree I defeated before anyone knew about it. It looks like it grants eternal life, but in reality, it digests its infected as nutrients after a certain point.”

“Hmm.”

“But Awakeners should never get infected. You’d lose your awakening abilities.”

Yu Ji-won tilted her head. “Lose awakening abilities?”

“Yeah. If you get infected, you’ll lose your Mini-Map ability.”

“What if, by any chance, the Undertaker gets infected?”

“Well, naturally, various abilities would be deleted. Complete Memory and Resume.”

Yu Ji-won rested her chin on her hand, lightly touching her chin with her index finger, a habit when she was deep in thought. After a while, she spoke slowly. “This might be a blasphemous question...”

“You’re always blasphemous, so go ahead.”

“If the Undertaker gets infected with Udumbara.”

“If I get infected?”

Yu Ji-won said, “Wouldn’t the Regression ability be deleted too, leading to your true death?”

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