I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

"Ah, seriously—"

Now, I want to explain the reason behind it.

Because, in a certain sense, regarding this matter, I too couldn’t escape responsibility.

So, one could say this is the record of two accomplices: Dang Seo-rin and me.

"Failed again. Again."

The starting point was the 6th cycle.

Dang Seo-rin had taken off her pointy hat (a rare occurrence) and was pulling at her hair with one hand.

Like a novelist blocked on their writing or a lyricist dissatisfied with their lyrics.

Actually, this description was closer to the truth than a metaphor. Dang Seo-rin was holding a quill pen (she had actually hand-carved it from a goose feather) and was creating a spell.

"This one’s taking a while. What spell are you trying to make?"

"Equivalent Exchange."

Dang Seo-rin pouted.

"I’m trying to make a spell that exchanges two different objects or phenomena on a one-to-one basis."

"...I can\'t quite grasp where you’d use such a spell."

"Huh? You can’t judge a spell by its practicality. It’s all about the romance and making something cool."

"That’s a very guild leader-like statement."

As I mentioned before, Dang Seo-rin’s ability was called Cursed Song Incantation. In other words, to activate a spell, she had to sing a song, and naturally, the song had lyrics.

In essence… for Dang Seo-rin, creating a spell was no different from writing song lyrics.

I didn’t know much about magic since I hadn’t mastered it, but according to Dang Seo-rin, "When the right lyrics are completed, it feels like the gears in my head click into place!" and the spell is activated or something like that.

So, in fact, Dang Seo-rin’s trademark \'Resurrection Magic\' was composed of lyrics like this:

Roll it, roll it

Bottom of the abyss, peak of the ether

All things swirl and spin

The peak of the ether, the bottom of the abyss

The eternally breathing fire wheel

Incidentally, the language was entirely in Latin.

Could Dang Seo-rin speak Latin? No, but there was a Latin major among the Samcheon World Guild members who served as her translator shuttle. That guild member was promoted to the executive team solely because they knew Latin.

It might not be new to you by now, but I hope you realize how seriously Dang Seo-rin took her witch cosplay. Her life was just one big fandom activity.

"Latin is a superior poetic language," "Especially, any chorus must be sung in Latin no matter what," thanks to Dang Seo-rin’s nonsensical philosophy, whenever large-scale song magic like the Ten Legs extermination battle was activated, we could listen to a grand Latin chorus that covered the skies.

Honestly, it was impressive.

That’s why she became the greatest idol on the Korean Peninsula. Anyway.

"Where did you get stuck?"

"Umm—I feel it lacks a bit of intuition. For example, vice guild leader, if someone offered you a bag of factory-made potato chips in exchange for six cartons of milk, what would you do?"

"That’s a fair trade."

"Right? That’s the kind of \'equivalent exchange\' I’m thinking of. The problem is, beyond food and drinks, it gets a bit vague."

Dang Seo-rin chewed on the tip of her feather.

"For instance… let’s say someone proposed to get rid of all the monsters in this world in exchange for you being imprisoned for 1000 years."

"Hmm."

"By the way, it’s solitary confinement. You get meals on time but can’t talk to the guards. You can read books or watch dramas, but you can’t communicate with anyone."

If I heard this proposal now, I’d accept it as a complete bargain.

But back then, I was just a regressor in my 6th cycle. I hadn’t even lived 100 years, and those less-than-100 years felt incredibly tough.

"Well? Would you take the deal?"

"...It’s ambiguous. I’m not sure."

"Exactly. \'Not sure\' is the honest answer."

The Great Witch gave a satisfied smile.

"Because we don’t have a clear intuition about what 1000 years feels like, right? Even if someone tells us to live for 1000 years, we can’t grasp how long that really is. Whether it’s 1000 years, 900 years, or 1100 years, it all feels vaguely the same."

"Hmm."

Dang Seo-rin was right.

In fact, in our relationship, Dang Seo-rin was almost always right.

The notion that I’d accept the proposal now also stemmed from my acquired intuition about what 1000 years truly meant.

"Not just 1000 years, but my entire life experience is too limited."

"Hmm."

"...Yeah. I get what you’re saying. I mean, even if I’ve experienced many things compared to others, it’s still not enough to create a grand spell like [Equivalent Exchange]. Got it?"

"No one could amass such experience. Life isn’t infinite, and lifespans are limited."

"...Indeed."

Dang Seo-rin stood up from the wooden chair and suddenly began to sing a song I had never heard before.

In fact, Dang Seo-rin often habitually, and spontaneously, hummed songs. Listening to her was also part of the unofficial duties of the vice guild leader.

I clapped. After finishing her solo concert, Dang Seo-rin gracefully picked up her pointy hat and bowed.

"Was that the equivalent exchange spell?"

"Yeah. The spell didn’t activate, though. How was it?"

"It was good."

"Great."

Dang Seo-rin smiled.

And that was it.

Sometimes Dang Seo-rin agonized over how to create the equivalent exchange spell, in other words, what lyrics would trigger the spell, lost in the struggles of a creator. But she never completed the equivalent exchange.

Before she was killed by the Ten Legs.

The 6th cycle, the 7th, the 8th, the 9th were all the same.

In every cycle, Dang Seo-rin was obsessed with the equivalent exchange spell and never completed her bucket list.

In terms of completion, it was barely 10%.

We were never granted enough time to create a grand spell like equivalent exchange.

I didn’t know exactly how Dang Seo-rin died. I couldn’t protect her, but my pride lay in the fact that I always died a little earlier than our little witch.

Thus came the grand 10th cycle.

"I can’t walk your path with you, but at least I’ll follow your footsteps with the same pace as mine."

"Even if we can’t live together, we’ll die together."

"Take care, my companion in time."

Dang Seo-rin left her last words and died.

I couldn’t prevent her death, but at least I could hold her funeral. I acted as the funeral director. Since neither of us had any family, it was a solo affair.

I don\'t wish to detail Dang Seo-rin\'s funeral now, and I\'m not sure if I\'ll ever want to.

But one thing was certain: her smiling last words left a deep mark on my heart.

After the 10th cycle ended, in the 11th cycle.

"Ah, seriously— Failed again. Again."

"This one’s taking a while. What spell are you trying to make?"

"Equivalent Exchange."

I no longer spoke formally to Dang Seo-rin, and she called me \'Undertaker\' instead of \'Vice guild leader,\' but our relationship remained amicable.

"Nice name. A spell that swaps two objects or phenomena?"

"How did you guess? How did you know, you?"

Because I was a regressor and once served you as my lord, I barely swallowed those words.

The person in front of me had asked me to keep the secret of my regression. I had made that promise.

In retrospect—Dang Seo-rin had a chilling cruelty.

To herself. To me.

Sometimes the measure of a relationship was how much cruelty people allowed each other.

"...Where are you stuck? From my perspective, the intention to swap all things seems too grand."

"Oh? That’s a valid point. More precisely, it’s the fundamental issue of lacking intuition about all things. Hmm."

Dang Seo-rin closed one eye.

"Can you listen for a moment? Sometimes hearing another’s opinion might help spark an idea."

You never revealed your spell creation process to anyone because you believed "magic must always be mysterious!" So why wouldn’t you cast any spell on me? You had laughed it off foolishly.

As someone who remembered all that, I couldn’t refuse Dang Seo-rin’s request.

"Is it an honor to be the first to hear the unfinished song of the Samcheon World\' Leader?"

"Think of it as an honor."

I listened.

"How was it?"

"I enjoyed it. Impressive."

"Of course, it’s impressive. What I want from you is feedback. Feedback. The Latin lyrics mean this. Anything you think should be changed?"

"Hmm. How about replacing ‘object’ with ‘starlight’ or ‘moonlight’?"

"Oh?"

"This part expresses things that can’t be measured, right? So, instead of using a mundane word like \'object,\' wouldn’t it be better to use something that conveys the meaning of things difficult for humans to grasp?"

"Ah—so, starlight, hmm. Oh? Wait a minute. Then…?"

Dang Seo-rin, as if struck by inspiration, scribbled furiously in her notebook.

Of course, I had no talent as a creator, critic, or even as a mage.

I simply recited the unfinished lyrics from previous cycles.

"Got it! Yes! It’s still far from complete, but it feels like progress!"

"I’m glad it helped."

"Wow—thanks, Undertaker. What’s this? Do you have a talent for witchcraft? Want to join our guild? I can parachute you straight into the executive team. Huh?"

"Sorry, but the Samcheon World\'s uniform is a bit…."

"Huh? Want to die?"

And so began our \'making the equivalent exchange spell.\'

Even though the Ten Legs began to be eradicated from the 10th cycle, Dang Seo-rin poured nearly all her lifespan into the battlefield, leaving her with little time to focus solely on spell creation.

Nevertheless, Dang Seo-rin steadily made progress, word by word, sentence by sentence, cycle after cycle.

"Instead of ‘exchange’ in the chorus, wouldn’t ‘judgment’ be more genuine, at least for you, Dang Seo-rin?"

"Oh?"

My role was to convey this unfinished product to the \'next cycle\'s Dang Seo-rin.\'

"Here, the word ‘alchemy’ carries more emotion than ‘transaction’…."

"Instead of insisting on completing the equivalent exchange spell with just one chant, how about splitting the spell into two separate songs?"

"First, a resurrection, then a song about things whose value can’t be measured, and finally…."

The 11th cycle, the 12th, the 13th.

With each passing cycle, the completeness of the equivalent exchange spell increased.

Initially, Dang Seo-rin had been half-giving up, wondering how to complete such a grand spell, but as time went on, her expression brightened noticeably.

"Oh? Wait. Hold on. If I follow your suggestion like this…? Oh? Maybe, just maybe, I can really create this…?"

To be honest.

Perhaps all of this was my little indulgence.

Even if I couldn’t reveal I was a regressor to Dang Seo-rin, I wanted us to have at least one creation we made together.

It didn’t matter what that creation was. Equivalent exchange just happened to catch my eye by chance.

I always had a side that made me chuckle because it was so soft. Both to myself and to her.

I wanted to believe that sometimes the measure of a relationship was how much one could yield to the other.

And once again, Dang Seo-rin was right.

"―Unbelievable! It’s complete!"

Finally, in the 26th cycle.

"To think I could create such a grand spell with just two chants…. I’m a genius! And Undertaker! You might be a bit of a genius too!"

Dang Seo-rin had completed the equivalent exchange.

Footnotes:

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