Chapter 150: Dream of the Future (POV)
Max isn\'t dead. He isn\'t dead. He is still there, trapped in that monster of a God.
And he is desperately calling out to me. So desperately.
I just know it. I really do.
I have to help him. I have to help Max. I have to. I know I have to. I know that he is waiting for me. He has even told me so, in my dream.
In my beautiful dream.
That dream comes every night, whenever I have cried myself into restless sleep.
A brand-new world always greets me, melting away all my pains and sorrows.
It is a different world with unending number of glimmering glass towers, reaching towards the sky and stretching beyond the horizon.
And despite the plethora of lights shinning onto the heaven above, countless majestic swirls of galaxies and uncalculatable number of stars could be seen.
It is just so beautiful. Beautiful beyond words.
Is this the future? My future?
I wish that it is, but everything feels so surreal. So surreal.
But even so, I truly wish that it is, for I am so happy, so very, very happy.
Nothing could be happier than this moment because Max is there. He is there with me, standing above a high-rising balcony, towering over all that the world has to offer.
His hands feel so warm, wrapping around me gently in an affectionate embrace. It is so very warm. As warm and gentle as his breath caressing along my face, telling that this isn\'t just a dream.
It is as real as what I am feeling in my heart.
"Come and find me, Stephanie. Only you can. I am waiting. I will always be waiting for you."
Max whispers softly, bringing tears into my eyes.
It is always the same. The same words. The same gestures. The same happiness.
And the same pain, gripping my very being.
Only I am different. Only I am becoming more painful and broken with each passing dream.
A dream that does not last.
"No. No. Please don\'t leave me, Max. Just a bit longer. Just a bit longer. Please.
Please!"
I call out desperately, but he is gone, fading into the wind like he has never there, leaving me all alone in the balcony of the Great Temple, watching over the world that the Ori has created.
As beautiful as the world in front of me is, it is not as beautiful as the world with Max in it.
It could never compare to the world of my deepest wish and longing desire.
I love him. I love Max. I realize that now.
And I regret for not telling him how I feel. How I truly feel when I have the chance to do so. I just hope that it is not too late. I just hope that I will have the chance to do so again with all my heart.
With everything that I am. Everything that I will be.
"Please come back. Please come back to me. I love you. I love you so much."
I murmur as my tearful eyes open slowly, and the cold lonely darkness permeated the bedroom greets me. The darkness always greets me and will continue to greet me if I remain separated from what my heart desires.
I need to go to Max, as he is waiting for me. He will always be waiting for me.
And if I don\'t.
If I don\'t.
No. I cannot imagine what happen if I don\'t. He would forever be trapped in his body under the power of the Ori. He would be all alone in the dark, slowly fading away like in my dream.
It is a premonition.
I pull myself out of bed and hurry to the door. My hand grips the cold metal knob and turn it. It slowly gives way, and the door opens so ever slightly and very gently, allowing me to peek through. To peek through into the faintly light corridor to see whether my father is still there.
Father is still there, asleep in the hallway amidst the melody coming out of the living room.
A very thin blanket roughly covers his worn-out form.
He has been through much in these past weeks. Just as much as I do. Maybe more.
I know that father is trying to protect me in any way he could, but I must go to Max.
I must help Max before he disappears from my life forever.
I just know it. I really, really do.
And even if I have to give up my own life in doing so, I will not regret it. I will never regret it, not for a person I truly love.
At least then, it will be less painful than the crushing feeling within me.
This is what father must have felt with my mother. The pain of lost and regret. For all my mother has done, father still loves her very much. He is willing to forgive everything that she has done, in the past and in the future.
And he only gives her up for me.
"I am so sorry, dad. For not listening to you. For not being here with you. For making you lose mother. For making you worry so much. For… for everything."
I utter tearfully and gently covers him more adequately with the blanket.
It is the only thing that I am able to do.
I want to hug him. I want to say more. I want to do more. But any of those will wake him up. And if he is awake, he will stop me again. He will never let me leave.
Father will never let me see Max out of fear.
Beads of tears fall from my face, dotting his weary and tired face. He must have stayed up for so long to have fallen asleep like this due to exhaustion.
His eyes twitches under those dark eyelids, forcing me to back away and hastily head down the hallway towards the elevator.
I must hurry before father wakes up again.
If he does, he will stop me again.
I pass by the opened living room, where my brother and sister are sleeping as peacefully as they could with beautiful melody emanating from the flat television screen.
Max is there, beyond the glass panel, staring down at everything from his unreachable throne.
Flame burns within his eyes as fire continues to swirl around him, preventing anyone or anything from ever getting close.
I know that I will be torched and burned to ash if I get close to him, but if I could touch his face even just once and tell him how I truly feel inside, it would be enough.
I would die happy without any regret or guilt.
"Max."
I mutter painfully as my ears capture the beautiful song.
How could it be so moving and so enchanting, coming from a woman just in her twenties.
Britney Spears is younger than me, and yet she is admired by millions, including my sister, Misha. And as right now, she is telling me what is dwelling within my bleeding heart.
"… how was I supposed to know."
"That something wasn\'t there."
"Oh baby, baby, I shouldn\'t have let you go."
"And now you\'re out of sight, yeah."
…
"My loneliness is killing me. Killing me."
"I must confess I still believe. Still believe."
…
It is nothing short of magical. Magical.
It is as if magic itself is enhancing her voice and lyric, bringing out the longing emotions to all that have heard it. The people in the spectator area are as emotionally moved as I am.
Many people are in tearful reminiscence as they remember their beloved just like I do.
Max is the first person I truly love and will only love, now and forever.
I don\'t think there will be another person who understands me as much as he does. It is like he knows exactly what is on my mind and what I am feeling. I cannot explain it other than genuinely believe.
Genuinely believe that he is my soulmate.
My one and only.
I turn my attention away from the television screen and leave the living room behind.
The elevator at the end of the hallway stands in silent.
It hasn\'t been used since Max had left all those days ago since the shelter provides everything we have ever needed for many years, possibly for the rest of our natural life.
But I don\'t want such a life. It is not really living.
I want to be with him. To be with someone I love.
Even just for a moment, it is more than enough for a lifetime.
"No. Stop! Stop, Steph. Please listen to me. Listen to me for once. Max is gone.
He is really gone. He is not God. Only the Devil is inside his body. If you go to him, you will be condemning your soul. You will only die in the flame of hell. Steph!"
Father calls out as I step into the iron cage and close the gate behind me. He is running desperately to the elevator to stop me from heading to the surface, but he would not make it.
"I have to go, dad. I have to, so please don\'t stop me anymore. If I don\'t, I don\'t think that I can live. If the devil has his soul, then hell will be heaven for me."
I response. I think I just turn my back against God.
But I truly believe that heaven without Max isn\'t heaven. And if he is in hell, I will be too. At least we will be together forever. That is how much I love him.
I close my eyes and pull the level, causing the iron cage to ascend towards the surface. I have decided, and no matter what happens, I will not regret it.
"No! Steph! Don\'t do this! Don\'t do this! God, please don\'t do this!"
Father screams out as he reaches the elevator, but just like I was before in his position, there is really no way to stop the elevator until it reaches the top.
"I promise that I will protect you, Steph. I will protect you even if it means I have to die to do so."
Father shouts and without thinking any further, he grabs the thick wirings running along the walls and rips them out of the wall with sheer will and strength alone.
Electricity fires out of the torn cables, burning the walls and electrocuting anyone within range.
Power immediately fluctuates, forcing the elevator to groan and jerk.
Light blinks rapidly before vanishing as the elevator falls back onto the ground from several meters up in the air, crashing without ever slowing down and breaking apart due to age.
"Dad!?"
My eyes widen as I hit the ground hard. Metals pipes and wirings shower my body, burying me under as pains wrap throughout my body. My vision swims. And my ears are ringing.
"Why… why can\'t you let me go, dad?"
I utter as I try to see my father, who is now lying on the floor, unmoving. His body is badly burned, and the smell of cooked flesh linger in the air. Tears fill my eyes as his chest stops heaving.
And before I could hear the screams of Joshua and Misha, I finally black out from the massive internal bleeding. I think father just killed me out of his misguided desire to protect me.
But I am thankful. I am thankful that I will never have to wake up from that wonderful dream again. It is the future that I always wanted. A future with just the two of us, me and Max.
I pull myself out of bed, using the thin white sheets to cover my nakedness. It binds around my chest before forming and morphing into a silky dress, trailing behind me.
It feels like a wedding dress.
I didn\'t take any time to examine the beautiful gown and head directly towards the doors connecting to the balcony. I push it open to allow me through.
And there he is, standing and gazing into the distance as his attire flustering in the cooling winds.
"Max."
I call out and rush towards him, but unlike before, he cocks his head around to give me a smile before vanishing like a distant memory.
My hand reaches out towards him just before he is gone, only to feel the marble railings as I collapse into tears. My head buries into my arms as I hold myself in despair.
"Max. I\'m sorry. I am so sorry. I couldn\'t save you. I couldn\'t!"
A warm feeling soon touches me on the shoulder and strokes my hair. I look up slightly to see a young girl with reddish-yellow eyes smiling at me. Wavy flames flickering in and out of existence around her body.
Somehow, I know who she is despite having never met her before in my life or in my dream.
"Adria."
I whisper and take the little girl into my arms, holding her tightly.
Adria returns the familial embrace as flames expand and swirl around us, keeping us in total comfort.
"You cannot die yet, mother. As you have given birth to father in another life, you will give birth to me for Time must continue to exist. It is and have always been your destiny."