BXBX NOVEL Chapter 57 - Cursed
His hair was tousled and he looked so carefree and different than the brooding Atlas Martini she knew.
He looked at her dress and his brows arched into a frown.
"What?" Meredith asked as she came to stand in front of him.
"You look so beautiful and cute in that dress. I don\'t want other guys to ogled at you or else I\'m afraid I will dig someone\'s eyes for staring at you."
Meredith glanced at the red sundress she was wearing and rolled her eyes.
"This is such an ordinary dress, Atlas. I\'m sure no one would even notice me. And I\'m wearing this big glasses. Guys don\'t ogle at girls with glasses."
A grin tugged at his lips as he stood up, "You have no idea how perfect you are, my sweet Meredith and you\'re mine. Also, I like your glasses, it\'s cute."
Atlas looked like he was in a bit of trance as he stared at her. Meredith broke into laughter, "You look like a love-struck puppy right now."
Atlas stiffened and smiled slowly before stepping back, "Well, look at you, who wouldn\'t?"
Meredith smiled and squeeze his arms. With him she felt truly desired and wanted considering the fact that she had felt ugly throughout her life.
"Let\'s go."
Ten minutes later, they were walking along the beach with the wind blowing through her hair.
"You know my mother loved beaches. We would go every weekend with my dad. It\'s one of my happiest memories as a child." Atlas suddenly said breaking the silence.
A ghost of smile fleetingly touched his lips. "She was so carefree and had the most beautiful smile. I remember my dad saying something about her leaving her life behind to be together with him to start a family.
She always asked me what type of woman I would marry when I was older. I said I will never marry mom; I\'m going to stay with you for the rest of my life."
Atlas spoke fondly of his mother. There was the unmistakably hint of sadness in his voice and a tremor that betrayed old pain but he smiled.
"She will shake her head and call me nave but I was serious though. I loved my mom more than anything and I always tried to put a smile on her face because I loved her smile so much."
Atlas looked away and gazed out to the ocean.
"Even when she was taking her last breath, she didn\'t forget to smile at me and tell me how much she loves me. "
Atlas\'s shoulders sagged a little but he took a deep breath and straightened his back.
"Then when I was eighteen I fell in love with someone apart from my mom for the first time. Cassandra was her name."
Meredith widened her eyes but she didn\'t say anything. She had no idea why he was suddenly opening up to her.
"The night I was going to ask her out, she died."
Meredith stiffened and swallowed the lump in her throat. She really wasn\'t expecting this information.
Atlas fell silent for a moment and she feared he wouldn\'t continue or answer the questions that was gnawing at her.
"I watched her being hit by a car and I couldn\'t do anything. The flowers in my hands flew on the ground, my subconscious yelled at me to run to her, save her but my body refused to move. The last thing I remember is her also smiling at me while laying in a pool of blood and saying I love you before she took her last breath." \'
He said, his tone flat and resigned, although she didn\'t miss the stark pain that flashed in his eyes.
"People who loved me..." he trailed off and turned to glance at her. His face was complete strangershuttered, cold and sinister.
Meredith heart thudded in her chest, "Atlas..."
She called out softly. He blinked and his expression softened.
"They all died at the end." He continued, swallowing hard, his face pale.
"Even my brotheris currently fighting for his life."
His gaze bored into hers and the amount of sorrow shimmering there almost broke her.
"I think I\'m cursedI don\'t deserve love."
"Atlas don\'t say that." She said in a choked voice, overwhelmed by the need to hug him.
"It\'s not your fault. None of it it\'s your fault."
He smiled softly, "Yeah I told myself that every single day but it\'s hard you know. For some reason I feel they died because of me. So I decided not to fall in love with anyone nor let anyone fall for me. I started sleeping with woman who wanted a simple fuck. No strings attached so that they don\'t fall in love with me. Once they do I just dumped them."
Meredith blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall.
"Is that why you don\'t want me to fall in love with you? Because you\'re afraid I will die?" Now she finally understood the words he said that day, \'I can give you anything but love.\'
"Yes.." he said softly, tilting her chin up so that she could look at him.
"But these past few days, you\'re all I have been thinking about. The only one I want to kiss, touch and make happy. And I\'m scared, Meredith..not of falling in love with you but of losing you like everyone else."
Meredith bit her lips and nodded as he brushed a tear that had rolled down her cheeks.
"You\'re not going to lose me."
He closed his eyes briefly and kissed the tear stains away. "With you I feel so happy, I\'m always yearning to put a smile on your face and be around you. I\'m mad about you, Meredith and for the first time in a long time I\'m considering falling in love. I know it\'s selfish of me and I\'m putting you in danger but I can\'t help it. It scares the hell out of me the thought of a lifetime without you..."