畅想听

Chapter 1306 A dragon and lion dance? Dragons & Lions: F*ck you

“There was no such thing. I am a good, law-abiding citizen, and I would never do something as cruel as that,” Song Shuhang retorted. “Actually, the owner of the tusks cut them off themself.”

Fairy Sixth Cultivator of True Virtue angrily said, “You liar!”

“But that’s the truth. Haha, actually, a demonic elephant Profound Sage was scheming against me just now. It cut its tusks in order to inflict me with a curse, but it failed to curse me, and I still managed to get its tusks for a pair of whale bones. I could be said to have profited a lot.” Song Shuhang explained what had taken place.

Fairy Sixth Cultivator of True Virtue: “...”

Reality was often more absurd than imagination.

What in the world is happening? Why do I feel that the universe is purposely sending ‘Eighth Stage forging materials’ Song Shuhang’s way?

Is it really because I accidentally set a flag?

But, I only thought about it in my mind and didn’t even dare to say it aloud. Can flags be set up like this as well...?

Fairy Sixth Cultivator of True Virtue felt very dissatisfied.

Song Shuhang said, “With these tusks, it is possible to forge the [Holy Elephant Commander’s Pillar] of the ‘Thirty-Three Divine Beasts’ Combined Magical Treasure’. Having said that, is the Holy Elephant Commander’s Pillar a staff?”

Fairy Sixth Cultivator of True Virtue shook her head. “It’s a pillar. As for how big it is, we’ll know that after it’s been forged. As for how to use it, that’s for you to figure out. Alright, don’t disturb me from forging anymore.”

She wanted some time alone.

Song Shuhang said, “Then I won’t disturb Fairy Sixth Cultivator of True Virtue any further.”

After his consciousness left the Inner World, Fairy Sixth Cultivator of True Virtue secretly wiped her tears, brandished her small and big hammers, and fiercely smashed them onto the Eighth Stage turtle shell.

Since she’d already received her ‘payment,’ even if she had to go through such bitter and tiring times, she still had to forge two sets of the ‘Thirty-Three Divine Beasts’ Combined Magical Treasure’.

She still considered herself a professional.

I hope that Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue and Fourth Cultivator of True Virtue can quickly return. I want those two bastards to see how much I’m suffering for their sake.

Every time she struck down with her hammer, a tear would flow down her face.

❄️❄️❄️

Song Shuhang’s consciousness returned to the main world.

At his side, Senior White’s clone asked, “Shuhang, we can lock onto the coordinates of the demonic elephant through the ‘whale bone’. After Doudou’s wedding is over, should we go and pay it a visit?”

Song Shuhang asked, “After everything that happened, wouldn’t it have made some preparations?”

Senior White’s clone pinched his chin. “You have a point. I hope that the other party doesn’t throw away the pair of ‘Eighth Stage whale bones’ we’ve given it. Anyway, after a few years, when my main body wakes up, we can go and sneak an attack on it.”

Song Shuhang said, “If I were the demonic elephant Profound Sage, I would definitely give away the ‘whale bones’ as soon I could.”

Senior White’s clone said, ​​”However, there’s a chance that the other party would refine the whale bones, and then insert them back into its nose as replacements for its tusks. After all, it had just sawed off its tusks, and those whale bones are just as hard as elephant tusks.”

“Pfff~ Is that even possible?” Song Shuhang couldn’t help but laugh as he imagined the demonic elephant Profound Sage using the whale bones as its tusks.

At the same time, he also discovered another thing.

Senior White’s clone was slightly different from Senior White.

Especially when it came to making decisions, Senior White’s clone generally did not make the decisions himself, but would rather listen to others’ opinions. Sometimes, it even seemed to be used to receiving instructions.

This innate skill that could allow one to create clones was truly enviable!

At this time, on the golden palanquin, Doudou [Soft Feather Version] happily cried out, “Senior Song, the greeting team is here!”

As she was sitting at the highest point in the area, she could see the farthest.

In front of them, a magnificent greeting team was slowly approaching.

At the forefront of the greeting team was a huge lion that was standing upright. It was dressed in red, carried a large gong with its foreleg, and was pounding on it hard.

Behind the big lion were two rows of eight cultivators pedaling on cloud-like flying magical treasures. They were each holding a sign that had the character ‘囍[1]’ posted on them.

Further back was a lively dragon dance team.

A cute young girl held a ‘dragon pearl’ at the front while a 100-meter-long flood dragon followed right behind her!

At this time, the flood dragon looked to be very confused. Its face was decorated with lifelike ‘dragon mustaches’, while its horns were also decorated to make its head look more similar to a true dragon. Its body was also covered with red ‘dragon scales’, while two dragon legs were also installed onto it.

It looked particularly festive.

Underneath it, there were more than a dozen suction cups firmly attached to its abdomen, and a golden stick could be seen attached to each suction cup.

More than a dozen young Fourth Stage cultivators held these sticks.

Song Shuhang had seen many dragon dance performances ever since he was young, but this dragon dance routine was the first of its kind.

They could even faintly hear the flood dragon complaining, “You idiots, stop twisting like crazy! My waist won’t be able to bear it.”

Below, a young cultivator spat out his tongue, and said, “We’re sorry, Senior Lunar Flood Dragon. We didn’t do it on purpose.”

The flood dragon gnashed its teeth, and said, “Just go by what we rehearsed. Anyway, which retard proposed to have this kind of ‘dragon lion dance’ greeting team?”

“Senior Lunar Flood Dragon, you can already be said to be in a decent situation. We brothers are a lot worse off.” Besides the dragon dance team, there were also six lion dance teams.

The so-called ‘lion dance’ had several groups of two young Fourth Stage cultivators, each carrying a big lion. These big lions were held up high while they continuously spun, jumped, and even hopped.

Lunar Flood Dragon asked, “You six brothers also lost yesterday?”

A lion blinked, and said, “Yeah. Last night, something strange happened. We six brothers met an expert at both of our mahjong tables and lost. In the end, we had to pay the debt with our bodies.”

Another lion said, “Do you think that guy yesterday was a cheat?”

Another lion said, “I’ve also been wondering about that. Otherwise, how could we brothers have lost so badly?”

Lunar Flood Dragon rolled its eyes, and said, “I was also there. How could the other party have cheated with me there? You simply weren’t his match. If you lost, then you lost. Hey, you, the idiot by my tail, your positioning is wrong. Do you want me to shiet on you?”

The young cultivator said, “Sorry, Senior Lunar Flood Dragon. I’m just a little nervous.”

They were soon going to meet the ‘first Sage in a thousand years’ Profound Sage Tyrannical Song, the ‘second Sage in a thousand years’ Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman, and the ‘sixth Sage in a thousand years’ Sage White. On top of all that, there was also a chance that they would encounter the ‘seventh Sage in a thousand years’ Sage Monarch Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue.

All of them were well-known Profound Sages in the world of cultivation. It was normal that these young disciples were very excited.

Lunar Flood Dragon gritted its teeth, and said, “Don’t mess up the rhythm even if you’re nervous; otherwise, don’t blame me for shietting on you!”

F*cking hell, whoever it is that came up with this idea of having true dragons and lions dance is seriously a retard!

However, I have to admit that this dance has quite an imposing manner.

The greeting team finally met Doudou’s palanquin team.

Afterward, the dragon and the lions turned around, and the two teams began to merge.

The young cultivators who were handling the dragon and lion dance couldn’t help but glance at Profound Sage Tyrannical Song and Sage White as they turned around.

There was also Sage Monarch Seven Lives Talisman on an immortal boat at the back.

To be able to see three Sages at once was really exciting.

Unfortunately, Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue was not present.

After that, the dragon and lion dance team began to lead the way ahead.

The people holding the ‘囍’ signs mixed with the Doudou palanquin team, while Doudou’s golden palanquin followed behind.

Behind them were several immortal boats filled with family members and friends.

The team continued to slowly move forward.

“Senior Song, that dragon and lion dance is wonderful!” The eyes of Doudou [Soft Feather Version] shone once again.

Song Shuhang nodded, and said, “It is indeed extraordinary.”

Doudou [Soft Feather Version] happily said, “If I get married in the future, I must also prepare a golden palanquin and have dragon and lion dance just like this one. In addition, I also want a wolf dance and a cat dance. That would definitely be very cool.”

Behind the immortal boat, True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon, Cave Lord Snow Wolf, and Young Master Phoenix Slayer shivered in unison.

True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon said, “What’s going on? Why do I suddenly feel a little cold?”

Cave Lord Snow Wolf remarked, “Strange, I feel the same way.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer added, “I suddenly feel an urge to find a warm place to stay.”

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber heard this, and thought for a moment.

After that, Thrice Reckless Mad Saber took out a transparent goldfish tank. The goldfish tank was relatively large, with it being as tall as half a person.

The fellow daoists were puzzled, not knowing why Thrice Reckless Mad Saber had suddenly brought out the fish tank.

While they were in thought, they saw Young Master Phoenix Slayer whizz into the fish tank. His body shrunk softly, filling up the entire fish tank, and he then drilled his head out of the opening of the fish tank.

Cave Lord Snow Wolf: “...”

True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon: “...”

Fairy Lychee: “...”

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber nodded silently, and took out a notebook to record something. “Sure enough, it’s just as I read on the Internet. At times, when seeing a goldfish tank, a cat would not be able to resist going in. This experiment was very successful.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer cried, “Meow?”

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator rubbed his face—he felt that when Young Master Phoenix Slayer came out of the fish tank, it’d be the end of Thrice Reckless Mad Saber.

❄️❄️❄️

The greeting team and Doudou’s sedan had walked away and disappeared into the distance.

At this time, another team carrying a golden palanquin appeared nearby.

This golden palanquin was almost exactly the same as that of Doudou.

Even the arrangement of the greeting team was similar to Doudou’s.

The monster fox Dugu Bai quickly climbed into the golden sedan. “Plan B was a success. Quickly, we don’t have much time, hurry to the main wedding venue. I can’t wait to marry my teacher.”

A bald great master laughed loudly, and said, “Your plan B is quite good. No one would think that the greeting team just now was fake.”

Dugu Bai said, “There was no other way. Plan A was seen by Zhou Li in the ‘Dog Catching Gang’ group chat. Because of that, we could only choose to abandon it.”

After climbing onto the golden palanquin, he transformed into a Pekingese, and then put on a red dress similar to Doudou’s.

The bald great master said, “Are you ready?”

A handsome white-clothed swordsman said, “Everything is ready. This time, we must let Fellow Daoist Dugu Bai successfully bring the beauty home.”

Dugu Bai patted his chest, and said, “Good brothers, I will remember all of you. I shall never forget our friendship!”

Who says that one couldn’t make real friends on the Internet?

He had gotten to know most of the people in this group online, but he was real friends with each one of them!

[1] Ornamental design symbolizing “double happiness” that can be treated as a blessing for the newly married couple.