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Chapter 69: Straight Man’s Paradise, Gay Man’s Hell

The facts proved soon enough that Mu Yiran really didn’t need anyone’s concerns, a sudden bang sounded amidst gasps of surprise, plunging the courtyard into silence. The quiet was broken by resounding cheers, as well as someone loudly yelling: “Leader! You are our new leader! Long live the leader!”

Ke Xun let go of Wei Dong and Zhu Haowen, and threw Wei Dong a wink before turning around.

As he watched a large bull begin running towards them from afar, Ke Xun glanced at the Mo Mou still laying by Mu Yiran’s feet and backed away slowly, merging into the crowd.

After the giant cow came to the front, it swept its gaze back and forth between Mu Yiran and Mo Mou before finally picking up the latter with its hoof.

However, the bovine seemed to have spotted the blood-covered Ke Xun in the crowd, and moved its other hoof towards him.

“Ke-er! Ke-er!” Wei Dong felt like his screaming was similar to last night’s Dong Dong, mourning and desperate as he watched his childhood partner, his good brother, his best friend, be lifted into the air.

“Dong zi,” Ke Xun shouted in his direction, a smile still on his face, “If it seems like they plan on eating hotpot later, stay away from the window. If you really can’t do it then make Mu Yiran knock you out, don’t look outside!”

“Ke-er!” Wei Dong’s heartbroken wailing continued to ring out as he knelt on the ground, “Why the f*ck are you so dumb— why did you do something so— you damn idiot- Ke-er— Ke-er—!”

Ke Xun didn’t even have time to wave goodbye to Mu Yiran before he was unceremoniously carried towards the farmhouse.

I don’t know what these cows plan on eating later, Ke Xun thought in his heart, at least in the painting【Faith】he was still able to use a rock to kill himself. In this painting they were all butt-naked, even if there was a rock he wouldn’t be able to conceal it.

The giant cow carried him and Mo Mou into a huge room next to the farmhouse. Ke Xun guessed that this was probably the farm manager’s room, and he was proven right when he saw several familiar cows sitting around. The cows from last night seemed to be relaxing, one was reading a newspaper, one was sleeping with its head on a desk, and there was even a cow knitting a sweater.

The bull lifted both people higher and displayed them to the other bovine. They moo-moo-moo’ed a bit, causing the others to suddenly laugh- or at least, Ke Xun thought they were laughing, though the sound was still moo-moo-moo.

It wasn’t known what exactly was being communicated between the cows, but the bull carrying the two men turned around and exited the room, heading towards the area behind the farmhouse.

Ke Xun remembered that behind the farmhouse was another lawn and another farmhouse, and that place seemed to be….

One by one, naked women slowly appeared in Ke Xun’s line of sight like little sheep, sending a foreboding chill down his spine.

He glanced over at Mo Mou and saw that the previous dejection from being defeated by Mu Yiran had already been wiped cleanly off the man’s face. At the moment, Mo Mou seemed like he was pumped with chicken blood (an expression of excitement), especially the area down there, as that unspeakable object began to inflate like a boar in heat.

No…. perhaps not a boar… Ke Xun seemed to have come to a realization, this was maybe… a breeding pig……

The large cow walked towards the lawn filled with women and slowly put Ke Xun and Mo Mou down before gesturing towards the two men, causing the nearby women to promptly begin fighting their way over towards them.

Oh….. f*ck….. Ke Xun’s thing withered at the sight of the reality before him. Of course, it would never get hard when Mu Yiran was out of sight.

He was a pure gay okay?! He’d never been interested in women, even if they tried their best to warmly embrace him….

For him, not only was there not the happiness that came with being near a beautiful woman, on the contrary, there was a sense of humiliation at being forcefully set up like this.

Mo Mou was the opposite, like a wolf in a sheep herd, he advanced towards the women gleefully.

In fact, the NPCs set up by the world were not as aloof as they seemed on the surface. Perhaps it was the artist’s intention for satire, but aside from appearing human on the outside and having basic human functionalities, these female NPCs were fairly bestial in all other aspects.

The women at the moment seemed to be playing a game of chase, twisting and teasing Mo Mou; each time he finally pounces on one, they’ll slap him away and begin the chase again. Repeatedly, both parties danced around each other like the mating rituals seen during the XX period of some animals.

In fact, when Ke Xun was really young, out of pure curiosity, he went behind his parents’ backs to go to a neighbor bro’s house to watch BG pornography.

And then he was promptly shocked by what was depicted on the screen.

At the time, he was still too young to know about the affairs of men and women, and only felt extremely disgusted by what he saw.

Ke Xun sometimes felt that perhaps it was because of that unpleasant experience that made him resist heterosexuality- henceforth creating a modern gay- but even after growing up and understanding the situation, it was impossible for him to return to that “conventional” sexuality.

The things happening in front of him once again reminded Ke Xun of that past trauma, and he tried his best to curb his desire to vomit, moving away from the circle of women towards a remote corner.

The giant bull, that had not left yet, noticed his attempt to flee and used its large hoof to drag him back into the center of the circle, once again pushing more women in his direction. At this point, even if Ke Xun wanted to cry, there would be no tears coming out.

Several women in their thirties tentatively walked towards him, twisting their hips from time to time, and some were bold enough to start rubbing on his chest and back.

Ke Xun’s scalp went numb, and he felt like he was a little white rabbit surrounded by hungry wolves.

“Big sisters, please let me go,” Ke Xun tried his best to avoid the female NPCs’ harassment as he bitterly begged, “I’m gay, gay! Even if you try and sit on me I wouldn’t get hard, please let me go alright?”

“Come on, young man,” An elder sister smiled coquettishly as she hooked a finger towards him, “Let’s have a good time, come!”

“I’m gay! Gay! Understand?” Ke Xun was truly desperate, “This really is like hell on earth… Mu Yiran! I’m being bullied by heterosexuals! Do you know how wronged I feel?”

“You’re gay?” A slightly familiar voice suddenly rang out from nearby.

Ke Xun pushed away the elder sisters who were persistently trying to stick to him, and looked over to see saw a tall and broad figure slowly making his way over.

It was Dong Dong.

“F*ck me, you’re not dead?” Ke Xun asked after getting over his shock.

This physique was truly too good, making him a great breeding boa-… er, breeding person. Ke Xun guessed that he was probably thrown into this place first, and he couldn’t help but look down at that thing and nod meaningfully.

Dong Dong’s ears turned a bit red, his voice a bit dry: “There’s no use…. A man’s instincts…..”

“I understand, take care of your health, don’t do it too many times a day.” Ke Xun responded.

Dong Dong became more and more embarrassed, quickly changing the subject: “So you’re really gay?”

“En, are you scared?” Ke Xun brushed away a sneaky elder sister’s hand.

“Eh, it’s alright… I just never thought I’d personally know a gay person.” Dong Dong hesitatingly answered.

“I remember an expert who said it well,” Ke Xun continued, “Every man has the potential to be gay. Really sit down and think, are you truly straight, or were you just deceived by heteronormative standards.”

“You….just what kind of dogsh*t expert did you hear this from?” Dong Dong had been absent minded this whole time due to the women tangled around him, but this particular sentence from Ke Xun finally caught his attention.

“Experts don’t just randomly put out nonsense.” Ke Xun finally got rid of that elder sister’s flanking attack, and walked over to Dong Dong, “What’s your plan, are you going to go with the flow and enjoy yourself, or are you coming with me to go hide?”

“I…..” Dong Dong barely got a word out before he was once again enveloped by the numerous women around him.

“Okay I got it.” Ke Xun waved his hand, “I’ll go hide for a bit, you take it easy, and come find me after a while.”

A big man like Dong Dong, it wouldn’t take very much effort to get rid of all the women by his side. The fact that he was still sitting there already communicated his true intent.

Ke Xun eyed the bull that was no longer staring at the breeders, turned around and hurriedly ran towards the far area of the lawn, preparing to go hide behind the grass slope.

Unexpectedly, just as he turned around the slope, he saw four or five women screaming in terror as they scrambled to escape.

Ke Xun was also taken aback and was just about to start running in the opposite direction before he stopped and turned around cupping his hands around his mouth, asking in a loud voice: “Did you guys come from outside to painting too?”

The women screamed for quite awhile before stopping, their faces filled with a strange mix of happiness, shock and trepidation as they looked at him: “How did you know- Are you also- Did you come from outside the painting as well?”

“Yes, is there anyone here who knows someone named Bi Jing? He was with us.” In order to increase his credibility, Ke Xun didn’t hesitate to name-drop Bi Jing.

Sure enough, two eighteen-year old girls nodded their heads repeatedly: “We know! He’s our classmate!”

The group of women squatted on the ground as they talked, using the weeds on the ground as well as their hair to cover their bodies.

Ke Xun also squatted down, angling his body away from them before saying: “You all, what I’m about to say next will seem very unbelievable, but this is the reality you see before you. This information is very important, and I hope you will all listen attentively. Even if you don’t believe it, you need to force yourself to believe it-”

He then proceeded to explain the rules and conditions of the world of paintings in detail, and finally said: “The only way to leave this place is to find the seal or signature of the artist. I hope you’ll do your best to use your brains as much as possible. Wherever you end up, try and look for suspicious things, and whatever you do, don’t just hide and wait for death. No one is coming to save you, only you can save yourself.”

Several women began crying, and some tried to speak up but Ke Xun couldn’t hear them clearly through the crying.

After these people finally calmed down, Ke Xun asked them about the circumstances of their farmhouse, and realized that their experience wasn’t much different from the male side. The only thing was that there were no large cows eating dinner last night, therefore no one was picked to die.

Ke Xun speculated that the two farmhouses were taken care of by the same herd of cattle, meaning that if they were eating at the men’s farmhouse, they naturally wouldn’t go over to the women’s farmhouse as well.

Ke Xun also told the women to try their best to not eat too much of the farmhouse food. If they really can’t bear just eating the nuts, do not under any circumstances eat until they become fat.

Before dinnertime came, Ke Xun, Mo Mou, and Dong Dong were all taken back to the men’s farmhouse.

A: Man, Wei Dong really missed out XD

H: Hmm, I wonder who the bulls ate previously then, if Dong Dong is still alive?

Thank you Bolshv and Kitty for the Kofis!