浮力限制永久地址

Chapter 234: Chapter 3 : We Have To Try...

My knees shake and I feel like I\'m about to fall over as I keep facing the waves as they come head on. But I can\'t let myself fall here and now. I have declared that I will definitely bring her back, and I have no right to lament when I have not achieved anything.

I wanted to contact Ayanokōji-kun several times, but I stopped myself each one of those times. There is a possibility that he will give me the answer that I am looking for. But at least in this case, it\'s something I would have to solve on my own.

"This concludes homeroom."

As soon as Chabashira-sensei finished homeroom for the day and left the room, I quickly followed her.

"Sensei, may I have a word with you?"

"I don\'t mind, let\'s walk and talk."

The hallway is conspicuous at this time of day as many students leave their seats to use the restroom. Perhaps sensing my intentions, Chabashira-sensei decided to take a walk and hear what I had to say.

"It\'s been five days since Kushida-san, Wang-san, and Hasebe-san have been absent from school."

"Ah, yes. Hasebe and Wang called in sick, but they haven\'t been seen at the hospital as a sick individual should be. As for Kushida, she\'s just saying she\'ll be absent and hasn\'t given us any details."

They weren\'t gone for lighthearted reasons by any means. Even so, that doesn\'t negate penalties our class might start accumulating due to them not being present.

"Are we in a state where we\'ll start receiving severe penalties?"

I\'m not sure I\'ll get a specific answer, but I\'ll ask once. "Don\'t worry about that. The rules are made so that honor students, especially Wang and Kushida, are given a longer grace period. As for Hasebe, as long as she isn\'t a problem child, it\'s not a big deal right now. These benefits only apply to students with no malicious track record or bad behavior in general."

"In accordance with daily conduct, is that what you mean?"

"That\'s what I mean. There are energetic students who like to exploit the rules, and there are students who clumsily hurt their hearts and clock out a week. It\'s hard to tell the difference. If that\'s the case, the only way to judge is to look at their attitude and performance in school so far."

I feel my heart lighten from her consolidation.

"Besides, the school isn\'t evil either. They don\'t want to force you students into class while something is already eating away at your consciousness. Anyway, the three students who are currently absent have never been late and have been diligent in their classes. They are fully qualified to be given a reprieve." Chabashira-sensei tells me this in a soft tone.

She looked so different from her usual self that I wonder if there\'s something behind it. It could be that she had changed after the special exam, which is something the class often speculates about.

"Most importantly, we understand that the school is also conducting a rigorous upcoming special exam."

So, the fact that rest is needed and they are already mentally strained means they\'ve been given more leeway to skip school.

Checking that there is no one around, Chabashira-sensei pauses before continuing.

"But the grace word is almost up. If they continue to be absent next week, the 100 class points you\'ve earned in desperation will be mercilessly diminished."

Do something during this weekend, was the hidden message from sensei. But would I really be able to respond to that message? I wanted to ask sensei how I would go about doing such a thing, but my weakness was already starting to show little by little. That was something I wanted to avoid.

"Thank you very much. You\'ve been very helpful."

"Hold on, Horikita. Do you still have something to say to me?"

"No, I don\'t wish to trouble you anymore, sensei."

"You won\'t know if it\'s troublesome until you ask me. We still have a little time left, wouldn\'t it be a little easier if you tried talking to someone?"

I guess Chabashira-sensei can see through my shallow mental state. It would be a lie to say that I wasn\'t hesitant, but I decided to be brave and confess my thoughts.

"We got class points by expelling Sakura-san. Was that the right thing to do?"

"Do you regret your decision?"

"I thought it was the right decision at the time. Even so... I can honestly say that I\'m shaken now."

"I wish I could show you the answer, but I can\'t help you with this one."

"I understand. As a teacher, you can\'t give me an answer, can you?"

"You\'re mistaken. It\'s just that at this point, I can\'t tell myself whether you were right or not. It\'s true that your decision was a bit dictatorial and self-serving, and some students may have seen it that way. You\'re suffering from their judgment and you\'re beginning to feel that you gave the wrong answer."

That was painful to hear and I can\'t say anything back.

"But does it really matter that much? No human being is perfect from the start. We make simple additions and multiplications wrong, we learn, and then we move on. I\'m walking through life full of mistakes too."

"Mistakes, sensei...?"

"That\'s correct, back when I took the same special exam. I couldn\'t answer the question before time ran out. In that respect, you gave an answer. I think you\'re doing well. There is no one who can get 100 points without experience. At the time of the special exam, you were recognized as a leader and given authority. And you were ready to cut someone down to protect Kushida. Now it\'s time to make them admit that it was the right decision."

Sensei had just said something typical of a sensei. I was a little confused, as such things have rarely happened before.

"You don\'t have to try to get a hundred points at this stage; you can either cut the OAA bottom line reasonably, or you can prioritize your commitments. There are two choices, and you need to accept the inconvenience."

"You\'re right..." I know she\'s right. I know, and yet I\'m still confused.

"But... I also think that I may have been blind to my surroundings. I think that if I had listened more, I might have grasped a better, more correct answer."

"It\'s possible to lose sight of your surroundings. And later, when the fever subsides, you may wonder if you made the right decision."

I\'ve never had that experience. I was so frustrated that I unconsciously clenched my fists.

"You\'ve always made decisions that were prestigious at best, or simple at worst, haven\'t you? Of course, that\'s normal. It\'s just that we each have idiosyncrasies and this is the first time you\'ve asked for a new option."

"I suppose so..."

I was given strong advice, yet I still couldn\'t find the right response. I must have looked pathetic, but Chabashira-sensei treated me softly without being dismayed.

"You fought within the rules presented to you by the school, didn\'t you?"

"Yes, but I broke my promise not to expel anyone except traitors."

"You decided to protect Kushida from the start, and you lied and made that promise in order to consolidate the vote in favor?"

"No! I was really ready to do that at that time. That much is true."

"In that case, there\'s nothing wrong with it. It\'s important to keep your promises. However, even adults sometimes make mistakes in their promises. I know you changed your mind because you realized that leaving Kushida wasn\'t the right thing to do. You are free to despise or ignore those who think poorly of you now. Some will follow you, some won\'t, and uniting a class of nearly forty students is no easy task, even for Ryūen, Ichinose, or Sakayanagi. The other students may be loyal and devoted on the surface, but you never know what they\'re thinking on the inside." Chabashira-sensei said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Don\'t be afraid to fail. I\'m not an adult who can\'t admit or forgive a child\'s mistakes."

"I haven\'t failed yet."

"That\'s right. I\'m willing to see the choices you make through to the end."

After giving me a slightly troubled look, sensei looked me in the eye again. Her polite, stern but warm words almost make me choke up a little.

"You\'ve changed, Chabashira-sensei."

I didn\'t mean to say that, but it just came out. I suppose it\'s what I honestly felt.

"Is it that strange for me to act like a teacher now? Have I been treating you that coldly?"

"I\'m a little surprised, but it\'s not strange."

"Well, that\'s good."

Chabashira-sensei probably thought she had talked too much, and she coughed and cleared her throat while changing the subject.

"What did Ayanokōji say in regards to Kushida?"

"Ayanokōji-kun...? Nothing specific about her. If I had to say, I think he\'s observing what I do."

"I see. So he thinks it\'s something you should solve on your own, huh?"

"It may be that he just can\'t deal with my mere selfishness."

"I don\'t know. Ayanokōji was the one who took a drastic step with Kushida\'s case. Even if you don\'t trust him, I don\'t think he\'s one to leave you alone."

"You\'re selling Ayanokōji-kun quite a bit, aren\'t you? I remember you saying that Ayanokōji-kun was the most defective product in our class."

"Why do you remember such an old statement?"

"I know for sure that he\'s better than his OAA."

"I see that your evaluation of him has increased considerably."

"There are some difficulties with his personality, but those aren\'t limited to just Ayanokōji-kun. I still don\'t understand what you meant by him being defective."

He is undoubtedly a brilliant man, more calm and collected than I am. I don\'t see any reason for him to be ridiculed as a defective student.

"You don\'t have to take every single thing I say seriously. You\'ve spent more time with him than I have, right?"

"Still, I\'d like to hear your reason."

"In that case, my assessment hasn\'t changed since before. No, I believe that the credibility of that assessment has increased."

Chabashira-sensei still believes that Ayanokōji-kun is defective, even after everything he\'s done and shown us.

"But you\'re not ready to dwell on that now. You have other problems that you need to solve as soon as possible."

"You aren\'t wrong..."

It was true that I was curious about him, but it could certainly be done later. I have to make sure that Kushida-san, Wang-san, and Hasebe-san come back to school.

"Do you think Kushida will be able to take your hand if you offer it to her?"

"It\'s hard to envision such a thing. No matter how much I visit or wait, she won\'t open the door."

"That\'s harsh."

She has countless opportunities to leave her dorm to get supplies when I\'m in school, and hide out during the weekend.

It\'s pointless to try to attack her in such a way where I attempt to ambush her. I tried to contact her on her cell phone, but it never picked up.

"She most likely understands that I\'m on the other side of the door, pacing left and right, and it surely resonates with her somehow."

"I suppose you have a point. That said, if you don\'t make a move, things won\'t progress and they\'ll slowly get worse."

"That\'s right..."

"When you can\'t do anything on your own, it\'s a good idea to ask for help from another person."

"The only classmate who would be willing to lend his strength to Kushida-san\'s persuasion is Hirata-kun. He probably doesn\'t have time for that right now either."

Hirata-kun is currently occupied with Wang-san and Shinohara-san.

"Sure, Hirata would be a able to make large impact. Although I\'m not sure if he\'ll have much effect on Kushida. I don\'t think it would be easy to open the doors if you took someone like that with you. A righteous, sensible, good person."

Somehow, I think I understand what sensei is trying to say. Hirata-kun would lie to make Kushida-san feel better, and she knows that.

"I\'m afraid I can\'t think of anyone suitable at the moment, but it might not be a bad idea to look at someone other than your classmates."

"When I try to confront Kushida-san, I\'m confronting her true feelings which relate to what happened in class. It\'s quite a disadvantage to tell that to an outsider."

"I suppose you\'ll have to work on balancing the advantages and disadvantages. Even so, that doesn\'t necessarily mean you\'re not allowed to tell them. Some of us teachers, for example, know about Kushida\'s past, and some of us would probably let others know if we chose to. I believe that there are no such things as secrets."

There is no such thing as a secret...? Maybe... there is someone who can move Kushida-san\'s heart. No, even if they can\'t move her heart, if there\'s someone who can make a breakthrough, I think I need to visit...

"It\'s time to go. Let me say one last thing, and it may be meddlesome, but let me say it. The most important thing is what you want to change Kushida into. You need to think about that carefully."

What do I want to change within Kushida-san?

"Thank you very much, Sensei. Thanks to you, I feel more prepared."

I still didn\'t have an answer, but I had the energy to make an effort.

"Don\'t worry about it. As a teacher... this is my job." With that, Chabashira-sensei returned to the staff room.

I continued to watch her from the stairs until I could no longer see her back.