BXBX NOVEL Chapter 113 - Spiritual Guide, Teacher Xie
Chapter 113 - Spiritual Guide, Teacher Xie
Translated by Eve
Edited by Serefina, Kitty
14. Spiritual Guide, Teacher Xie
“Ah Xing?” Yun Huaiyu heard his voice tremble. His gaze fell on Xie He’s black eyes, which were deep like a bottomless pit. His heart suddenly rose to his throat.
Xie He’s gaze was fixed on him. He slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position, hands against the sides of the bed. Yun Huaiyu promptly reached out, wanting to support him, but Xie He slapped his hand away!
Yun Huaiyu’s eyes dimmed. There was no need to doubt it. Xie He had recovered. Only, who knew how much he remembered? Yun Huaiyu didn’t dare touch Xie He again. He was rigid from head to toe due to nervousness.
Xie He looked at him indifferently. A long time later, he spat out two words, “Get out.”
Yun Huaiyu’s expression froze. He was silent for a few seconds before standing up and saying with a soft voice, “All right, I’ll leave.”
After saying that, he left. He also helped Xie He shut his door softly.
Yun Huaiyu arrived at the courtyard and slightly turned his head. He saw the black-clad Mo Cang leaning against the wall and slowly said, “You saw it.”
Mo Cang said, “Yes.”
Yun Huaiyu said, “Good. The things have already been prepared. I will set up a protection formation for you two.”
Mo Cang said insipidly, “I’m going to go see Shifu.”
Yun Huaiyu didn’t make a sound. He only cast a complicated glance at Mo Cang. Mo Cang was willing to give his life for Xie He. He felt the same, so he could understand Mo Cang’s thoughts, let alone stop him.... He only wanted Xie He to be able to continue living.
Mo Cang turned around and entered the courtyard. He looked a bit distracted for a moment. It felt like it had been a lifetime since he had last seen his master clear-headed.
He longed for him but was afraid to face him.... However, fear could not solve anything. He owed his master an apology. He wished to personally tell his master these words.
If he didn’t say it now, he would not have another chance in the future.
When Mo Cang pushed the door open and walked in, Xie He was still sitting there, looking like he had before. When Xie He saw him, he was neither surprised nor angry. It was like Mo Cang was nothing but a passerby to him.
“Shifu,” Mo Cang gently called out. He walked over to Xie He’s bed and knelt down. His black eyes were full of yearning, regret, and suffering. His voice was quiet and hoarse, “I’m sorry.”
Xie He finally looked up, eyes fixed on him. Suddenly, he lifted his hand up high. However, just as it was about to fall, it suddenly stopped.
Right now, there was no point in this anymore.
He placed his hand back down, dispirited. He didn’t hit the other.
Agony flashed through Mo Cang’s eyes. He raised his hand and slapped himself. He used a lot of power in this slap, so much that blood trickled out from the side of his mouth. He said, “Shifu, just give me your orders. No need to do anything yourself.”
Xie He looked at this version of Mo Cang. He was deferential like he had been before, like he had been for the last ten years.... However, he had never known that there was an ambitious wolf beneath that deferential, obedient exterior of his most trusted disciple.
He didn’t know a thing....
He remembered everything that had happened. He had seen the pain and struggle in Mo Cang’s eyes, the words of love Mo Cang had whispered into his ears, the way Mo Cang had searched for spiritual material to prolong his life, only to come back heavily injured but have to pretend he was fine... he remembered it all. His heart that was once full of hate and rage had changed. It was no longer as simple as that.
He would rather have not remembered any of it.
Then he wouldn’t have to be tormented by the hurt that was called love.
“Go, ba. You should also go.” Xie He’s voice carried a deep exhaustion.
All of you, go, ba.... He was really tired. He was so tired he didn’t want to continue on.
Mo Cang didn’t leave though. He remained kneeling there, back straight as a rod. His gaze, full of deep yearning, did not part from Xie He’s face.
“Shifu, don’t you blame me?” Mo Cang slowly said.
He had been waiting for Xie He’s criticism but it never came. All that came was a slap that didn’t land.... His heart had already become numb from pain. Right now, he didn’t feel anything at all.
Shifu even felt that blaming him was not worth his time.
Xie He shut his eyes, expressionless.
Mo Cang pulled his lips into a distressed smile. He said, “Shifu, I know that you don’t want to see me. But I have a final request. I hope you will agree.
“Agree to it and I will never bother you again, OK?”
Mo Cang’s eyes fell on Xie He’s face. He said, “...Please take over my body.”
The reason why he would give up anything for Xie He to regain his mind was for this moment. Xie He’s soul was greatly damaged, and he could not take over anyone’s body. However, if the person whose body was being taken over was willing and gave up on resisting and Xie He was clear-headed, it became possible.
He was willing to give up his life, give up his flesh, to give Xie He a new chance at life. This was his last wish.
Xie He’s eyelashes quivered. He opened his eyes. There was finally some change in the expression in his eyes.
Once your body was taken over, your soul would completely perish. You would feel your soul gradually be pulled out of your own body. This was a very cruel matter. No one would be willing to do this&#k2026; but Mo Cang was willing. He was, despite everything, willing.
However....
Xie He’s mouth moved, and there appeared a faint smile on his lips, “I don’t want to.”
An imploring expression appeared in Mo Cang’s eyes. The tall man’s body looked like it was about to collapse underneath a heavy burden. He clenched his fists tight, voice trembling, “Shifu, please, you must reconsider.”
Xie He tilted his head to the side. His white hair fell over, and the corner of his lips rose. “If I don’t think it over, you’ll use another method to force me to continue living, right? Like how you turned me into a puppet. You always have some way... to make me... wish for death.”
Mo Cang’s body swayed a bit. Xie He even remembered that? Pain concentrated in his eyes. For a moment, he couldn’t say a thing, “I....”
“Go. Don’t make me say it a third time.” Xie He’s eyes were cold. He turned his head around and did not give Mo Cang another look.
Mo Cang stared at Xie He in a daze. However, Xie He did not give him another glance. Finally, he slowly stood up and said with a quiet voice, “I won’t.”
However, Xie He did not respond.
Mo Cang’s gaze was fixed on him for a while before he left silently.
Yun Huaiyu watched as Mo Cang left with a sad expression. He then asked, “You finished?”
A bitter smile appeared on Mo Cang’s lips. He said, “Shifu is not willing. He is not willing to take over my body.”
Yun Huaiyu’s expression instantly changed. If Xie He was not willing, they could not force him. Although he knew that Xie He would not forgive him, he didn’t think that he wouldn’t be willing to take over Mo Cang’s body. Was he truly wishing for death?
He had no time to care about Mo Cang. He hurried over to Xie He’s side.
Xie He had gotten some quiet after much difficulty. He then saw Yun Huaiyu run in, flustered. He couldn’t help but sigh.
Yun Huaiyu looked at Xie He nervously. He was at a loss as to what to do. He pleaded, “Ah Xing, why aren’t you willing to take his body?”
Xie He looked at Yun Huaiyu like this, and could dimly see that youth from many years ago who would stammer by his side. When he would occasionally meet with something difficult, he would show this kind of expression and ask him with worry and nervousness, “Ah Xing, what should I do?”
And Xie He would always respond with: “It will be fine. I am here.”
But this time, he didn’t want to respond like that.
A faint smile suddenly appeared in Xie He’s eyes. This smile caused Yun Huaiyu’s mind to go blank. He had very rarely seen Xie He smile like this. Forget about the present day, but even back then, when they were still together, Xie He would only rarely smile like that. Most of the time, he was aloof. Even though Xie He liked him, he did not make it obvious. He would only silently do things for him.
“Ah Xing...” Yun Huaiyu felt a bit happy but also nervous. He didn’t know what Xie He meant by this.
“I want to go back to that place,” Xie He said.
“Ah Xing, if you don’t want to use Mo Cang’s body, use mine,” Yun Huaiyu carefully looked at Xie He, “OK?”
A flash of astonishment appeared in Xie He’s eyes. He understood Yun Huaiyu. This person was actually willing to.... but he didn’t respond. He only said, “I miss home a bit. Take me back, all right?”
Yun Huaiyu obviously could not refuse. Although he was anxious, he still said, “All right.”
..........................................
When Mo Cang heard that Xie He wanted to leave, he didn’t say a thing and followed after them from behind. Right now, everyone was chasing after Yun Huaiyu, wanting to kill him. Mo Cang would not rest assured if they were to go off on their own.
Because Xie He’s body was weak, he could not travel on his own. He could only rely on others’ help.
He acted extremely calm the whole time. There was no anger, no hate, and no struggle. It was like he didn’t care about anything.
They arrived at a bustling little town. Because there was a festival going on, the town was very lively.
Xie He walked on the obviously narrow little road. He watched people walk around and suddenly said to Yun Huaiyu, “This place has changed so much. I don’t recognize anyone anymore.”
“It’s been two hundred years,” Yun Huaiyu said softly, “A mortal lives no more than a hundred years.”
Back then, they left this place. Now, there was no sign that they had ever existed here.
“It’s not a bad thing,” Xie He said.
Xie He walked for a while before he could not walk any more. He coughed a few times and then smiled, “Huaiyu, I’ve forgiven you.”
Yun Huaiyu looked at him, astonished. His lips trembled, “What?”
“I said, I’ve forgiven you.” Xie He’s gaze was clear and his tone was calm, “The scariest thing in the world is being unable to get what one wishes for or being unable to let go. If we were mortals, it would not matter. At most, we would suffer for only a hundred years. That is the end of their allocated life span. Even if they don’t want to let go, they have no choice but to do so. But we cultivators... if we cannot let go, it could last several hundred or even a thousand years. From this point of view, it’s harder and more bitter than what mortals have to face.... But one can overturn the Heavens with cultivation. We want more and we get more, so naturally we pay greater costs. We must bear more.
“Fortunately, if this is a calamity on my cultivation path, it ought to end now.
“What I wish for but cannot get, I no longer need to wish for any longer. What I cannot let go of, what I don’t want to let go of, I should let go of it now.”
The hand Yun Huaiyu used to support Xie He began to shake. He understood what Xie He meant, but he would rather he didn’t.
He had always wished to one day obtain Xie He’s pardon, but now that he did, he wished that Xie He would never forgive him. For him not to forgive him, for him to hate him and detest him, for him to wish to continue living.... He didn’t want what was happening now where the other said that he would let go so lightly.
Because he didn’t love him anymore, because he was no longer strongly attached to him, he could forgive him.
But you don’t know that in my lifetime, I have no way of letting you go. If you are the calamity on my cultivation path, then this calamity has just begun.
He really wanted to continue persuading Xie He, but he could not open his mouth. He could not force the other to do it.
【Ding, Yun Huaiyu’s Favourability Value +2. The current Favourability Value is 100.】
Xie He rested for a while and then continued forwards. He walked for a while before remembering Mo Cang. He nodded towards Mo Cang and said, “Come over.”
Mo Cang immediately walked over. In a quiet voice, he said, “Shifu.”
Xie He said, “I share the blame for causing you to become what you’ve become.”
Sorrow instantly appeared in his eyes. He had also heard what Xie He and Yun Huaiyu had said. How could he not know what Xie He was thinking? He didn’t want to live. But Mo Cang had no right to try and change his mind.
Everything Xie He was saying to him now were the last words he’d ever say.... Mo Cang would not be able to hear him speak ever again.
He could not refuse to listen. He could not bear to not listen. But he also didn’t want to listen.
“Because I don’t know how to guide a disciple, I did not teach you well. I also did not serve as a good model,” Xie He said insipidly, “You are exceptionally talented, but your temperament is not yet sufficient. In the future, there will be no harm in strolling about the mortal world more. See the world.... I have always thought that you would make it further than me on this cultivation path.
“I have never asked you for anything, nor did I ever tell you my expectations for you. I had always thought... there would still be time.”
Mo Cang’s lips shook. There was a helpless, silent sorrow in his voice, “Shifu, you don’t have to say it.”
“Neither you nor I have relatives or friends. It was fate for us master and disciple to have met. I have always hoped that you would live well. Even if that stuff didn’t happen, my body would not be able to hold on for another few years.”
Xie He’s lips curled into a self-mocking smile, “I had originally been a bit worried, worried about how there would be no one to protect you when I’m gone. I was afraid that you would be deceived and bullied.... But now it looks like I don’t need to worry about that.
“I was originally really angry about you tricking me... but now that I look back on it carefully, I feel gratified. I can rest at ease.” Xie He suddenly smiled, “Because you will be able to live very well on your own. You no longer need me.”
Mo Cang’s nails dug into the skin of his palms. He finally heard the concern he had been wanting to hear. He finally got the feelings he wanted. His master had cared about him this whole time... but these feelings would be soon accompanied by a farewell.
The past him must have been possessed to think that this person didn’t care about him. Why did he ignore this concern and always wish to plunder to obtain what he wanted?
He did not regret his feelings, but he regretted using the wrong method.
He could have loved this person properly, but he had destroyed it all with his own hands.
And this version had still managed to receive his master’s regard.
Only, you don’t know just how much I need you....
【Ding, the target Mo Cang’s Favourability Value +1. The current Favourability Value is 100.】
Xie He turned around and looked up at the banner of a tavern on the road. He said, “I’m rather tired.”
“Then let’s go up and rest for a while,” Yun Huaiyu said, supporting Xie He.
“All right,” Xie He said.
Xie He entered the tavern, and the tavern’s shop assistant said enthusiastically, “Gentleman, do you wish for a room?”
Xie He’s expression didn’t change, “Yes.”
“OK, I’ll bring you up,” The shop assistant said cordially. He deferentially led them. The shopkeeper looked at Xie He. Xie He had a head of white hair, and his skin was aged. Only, his eyes were still clear and bright. It seemed like this gentleman must have been no ordinary man in his youth. As for the man supporting him, he was likely the gentleman’s son. The other man trailing behind was likely the gentleman’s bodyguard.
Xie He arrived at the tavern’s room. He didn’t look into the mirror. He knew what he looked like now. He probably didn’t look good. Because he had exhausted his psychic constitution and did not have spiritual energy to replenish it, his dried-up body had quickly turned old.
While walking on this short stretch of road, he had been like a mortal walking to the end of his life.
Love, hate, and bygones had all gone up in smoke.
Xie He felt like he had no strength left. He leaned against the bed’s headboard, looking out the window. He suddenly sighed softly, “In this life, I’ve only trusted two people.”
In the end, both of these people had hurt him.
Because he trusted them, he had been hurt.
Luckily, he could finally let go.
【Ding, the target of this world, Mo Cang, has been successfully captured. 30,000 experience points obtained. The important character of this world, Yun Huaiyu, has been successfully captured. 24,000 experience points obtained. Experience points obtained from sell-back are 50,000. The total amount of experience points obtained in this world is 104,000.】
【Ding, departure from the world in progress....】
Yun Huaiyu stood there, not moving. He stared at Ji Xing, who had shut his eyes. He could feel the last of the other’s life slipping out of him, but he didn’t do a thing. He could only watch on helplessly....
A long time later, he carried Ji Xing in his arms. The originally stern and brash man had withered up into an old man in the blink of an eye.
He had grown old and died like a mortal, peacefully departing with nothing to worry about.
But... what about the worries in my heart?
Where should I go?
How about I accompany you?
Mo Cang’s eyes were fixed on Ji Xing. He wanted to reach out, but he had been a step too slow. Just like how he had come too late, he had been too late in the very beginning too.
Shifu, did you know that you were the reason I had worked so hard?
Now that you’ve gone, even if I strive for immortality, there is no meaning to it anymore.
Life is nothing but a prison.
..........................................
Mo Cang returned to his and Ji Xing’s Immortal’s Cave. Originally, this had been their home. Now, there was only Mo Cang left.... Every day, he would wake up and tend to the medicinal herb garden. Then, he would make two dishes and set down two pairs of chopsticks, pretending that someone else was still here.
At night, he would go to his master’s room and lie down where his master had once laid, picturing that person’s appearance.
Mo Cang stayed at that Immortal’s Cave for ten years without taking a step outside.
One day, when he woke up, he thought of the task his master had entrusted to him. His master had hoped that he would go see more of the world. Therefore, Mo Cang decided to descend the mountain and wander around.
Before descending the mountain, he tidied up a few things. Only then did he find out that his master’s storage ring was still here. Mo Cang opened it up. There was nothing worth anything inside. It was empty. The only thing inside was an extremely eye-catching black sword.
He still remembered this sword. Back then, Shifu had just managed to take this from Yun Huaiyu with his life. He didn’t care for mere worldly possession, so it had always been with his master.
Right now, the sword had a sheath. The simple and unadorned sword had the word ‘Cang’ engraved into it. Mo Cang looked at the character that had been written with powerful strokes. He could almost see Shifu sitting in front of his furnace, personally refining this sword’s sheath.
This was what Shifu had left him, but he only discovered it now.
Mo Cang blinked his dry eyes and held the sword in his arms. Shifu... I really miss you. Do you know that really soon I will be unable to hold on for any longer?
Another hundred years passed. The cultivation world welcomed another lunatic with a crazily high cultivation level.
It was said that this lunatic would hug a black sword. He was unkempt, silent, and taciturn. No one knew where he would go, and he was temperamental. Sometimes, he would appear in little towns in the mortal realm. Other times, he would appear in the wilderness—in mountains or forests. Sometimes, he would appear in treasured spiritual mountains....
In the beginning, there were cultivators who would try to provoke him, wanting to deal with this lunatic who didn’t watch where he was going or what he did. However, no one succeeded.
Afterwards, the lunatic’s reputation gradually began to spread. Quite the number of cultivators began searching for him, wanting to try to kill him and make a name for themselves. However, each one of them was met with a disastrous defeat.
In the end, the illustrious cultivators that had been in seclusion and the large sects attacked as well. But in the end, they were also defeated.
It was such a large cultivation world but there was actually no one who could do something about this lunatic.
Later on, the cultivators all learned to be well-behaved. When they encountered him, they kept out of his way. In any case, this lunatic was strange. He would hug his sword all day and crazily talk to himself. If you didn’t provoke him, he wouldn’t provoke you.
Several hundred years passed again. The lunatic did not appear again.
In the end, he became a fantastical story passed on in the cultivation world for the people to hear.
The author has something to say:
This world has finally ended, la~ The next world announcement: The President’s Runaway Lover~ Puhahaha, are you shocked~~ First, let’s let out President Xie return to the modern world for a stroll, la. \\(≧▽≦)/~~
Eve: I’m not crying, you are.... Honestly, this was just...depressing. Xie He’s words at the end with YHY and Mo Cang...sometimes a long life isn’t necessarily a good thing. Thinking of Mo Cang living for hundreds of years after with all the guilt and pain...oh god. Also, next arc stars one of the world MLs I hate most. Hahaha....
sere: ahhhhHHHH eve + 1 this entire arc is just taking guilt and slapping you across the face with it its finally done
Kitty: T.T the indifference hurts more than the hate...