BXBX NOVEL Chapter 64 - I Have a Special Skill for DID Part 1
Chapter 64 - I Have a Special Skill for DID Part 1
Translated by Eve
Edited by Kara
11. I Have a Special Skill for DID Part 1
Chu Xing’s expression was full of pain.
Yes, perhaps the Incapable Ruler was partly guilty. Those male pets who died under his hand had been innocent; Xiao Yan had also been innocent...but, Lady Bian hadn’t been innocent nor were all those other people in the palace! There had been even more people who were guilty, so guilty that even their deaths were not enough to atone for their sins!
A flicker of painful conflict flashed through Chu Xing’s eyes.
The next day, Prince An indeed sent some people over along with a lot of evidence. Chu Xing personally interrogated them. Sure enough, nothing had been false.
He left the punishment room. A moment later, he said, “Take those people to Duke Yingguo’s residence.”
This concerned Chen Yan’s death. Chen Cong was the one who deserved to know the truth the most.
Chu Xing stayed in his study for an entire morning. In the afternoon, his subordinate informed him that Chen Cong had come and requested an audience. Chu Xing placed the tip of his writing brush, dripping with ink, onto the fine writing paper. He was silent for a while and then said, “I won’t see him. Tell him to return, ba.”
He could not face him, whether it was the Incapable Ruler or his good brother....
He could blame no one but himself for having fallen into these circumstances. He only had himself to blame for having had his heart moved by someone who he shouldn’t have let move him.
Because he cared, he could no longer do as his heart pleased without any restraint like he had in the past.
&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;&#k2026;..........................................
Although Xie He’s body was asleep all this time, his mind was very clear. He enjoyed all sorts of entertainment and chatted with 444, passing his days in extreme satisfaction.
After a period of time and learning that Xie He wouldn’t die, 444 didn’t get emotional but instead became a bit bored.
【444：Host dada, when do you plan on waking up? _(:зゝ∠)_】
【Xie He：Probably tonight.】
【444：Really?! ( ⊙o⊙ )】
【Xie He：Yes. What Chu Xing needed to hear from the mouths of others, he has probably already heard. It’s up to me for what’s left. I can’t have others do it for me anymore. Smile.JPG】
【444：What did he hear about?】
【Xie He：Obviously, it’s the truth behind Chen Yan’s death.】
【444：But, it’s absolutely true that he died under Jing Zhao’s hands, ah! @[email protected]】
【Xie He：Baby, it seems that the data you have been given isn’t complete, ah....Tell me the truth, do they also give other hosts these kinds of deceitful background information? Although Jing Zhao is an Incapable Ruler, he wasn’t so stupid as to lay his hands on Duke Yingguo’s legitimate son while knowing that he was in a precarious position. Before, he really didn’t know who Chen Yan was. Only, when Chen Yan died, he and Yang Xian must have noticed that something wasn’t right. However, Chu Xing had come too quickly. Before they could ferret out the one who framed him, he had already been trapped. Nonetheless, Yang Xian was outside all this time, so he would certainly be able to investigate this matter. In order to make Chu Xing free me, he and Prince An would think of every possible way to make Chu Xing know the truth behind this matter. 】
【444：Σ( ° △°|||)︴So, it’s like this! Then, after Chu Xing finds out about the truth, will he let you go?】
【Xie He：Of course not. :)】
【444：......】
【Xie He：If Chu Xing had found out the truth before he had done anything to Jing Zhao, perhaps there would be a slight possibility of going back, but now...it’s too late. The relationship between us is no longer so simple in which it can be resolved with knowing who’s right and who’s wrong. If he retreats, he’ll have to pay with his life. Right now, he can’t do it.】
【444：Then, what was the point...?_(:зゝ∠)_】
【Xie He：His love for me will grow even deeper.】
【Xie He：When someone doesn’t care about someone else, the other’s mistakes will be magnified and loathed by that someone. Meanwhile, no matter how pitiful the other is, that someone will only have a bit of meaningless pity towards them. This is because they don’t care about them, so they can be heartless and indifferent. On the contrary, when someone cares about another person, even if they have committed an unforgivable crime, so long as they have some redeeming quality, their redeeming quality will be magnified. They will be perceived as being a bit wronged. In this case, that someone will feel incomparably distressed towards the person they care about and will treat them with tenderness. Because they care, they will believe that the other is good in all respects. They will involuntarily try to find an excuse for that person. Humans have always liked to use their preferences in determining how to treat another person.】
【444：That doesn’t seem very fair....】They, the systems, aren’t like that, ne~
&#k3010;Xie He&#kUU1J;Humans have always been biased. :)&#k3011;
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The third night.
Chu Xing stood at the door of Qin Palace for a long time. His expression was dark. In the end, it seemed like he had made some kind of decision&#k2026; He raised his foot and crossed the threshold into the room.
He made his way over, step by step, with every step feeling as heavy as a mountain. He walked until he once again stood before Xie He’s bed.
Xie He remained pale, sound asleep.
Deep pain gradually accumulated within Chu Xing’s eyes. It was so dense that it almost seemed tangible. At this moment, he finally understood why the Incapable Ruler could endure all his tormenting. It was because to him, he had been enduring torment all throughout his life. There was nothing different between what Chu Xing had done to him and what the others who had hurt him before had done. Those people could not make him submit nor could Chu Xing.
If he was a boy from an ordinary family, he would have fallen apart long ago after encountering all of this. However, the person in front of him was the most esteemed Emperor...and yet, he had endured all of this tragedy and still persisted in living on.
Chu Xing slowly knelt in front of the bed, head gently caressing Xie He’s cheeks. He whispered, “Is that all true?”
How good would it be if it were not....?
He had never thought that there would be a day in which he would hope that this Incapable Ruler was a thoroughly wicked evil doer.
Chu Xing’s fingertips gently swept across Xie He’s cheeks and lips. His gaze slowly shifted. In the end, it fell on the lower half of the person on the bed....
Bian Tu’s words once again sounded in his ears...could that brute have fabricated that story? Could he have created a vile lie, because he was on the brink of death? Chu Xing could not control himself from thinking this....Until now, the only thing that he could verify had been the truth behind Chen Yan’s death, because all of the vile sinners had already been killed and buried. The only ones who knew what had happened only knew a thing or two as well.
However, there was still one more way to verify things.
Chu Xing was conflicted, but in the end, he pulled open the quilt.
A quarter of an hour later...
....................................................................................
Chu Xing shut his eyes in pain. Finally, the possibility had been completely eliminated.
Why hadn’t he figured this out earlier?
Because he had always been humiliating and tormenting this Incapable Ruler, it was expected that the other wouldn’t react. He...didn’t even care about this at all before. If he had paid a bit more attention, would he have been able to notice this abnormality a bit earlier? Would he...have continued to make this mistake?
No...even if he had known, what of it? It might have even been another pretext he would have used to shame the Incapable Ruler. Chu Xing’s crimes would only have increased.
“I’m sorry...” Chu Xing’s lips moved slightly.
He had used the cruellest method to hurt the person before him. He had tortured him, disgraced him, tried to force him to admit to a crime he wasn’t guilty of...now, this person might even die.
To have fallen in love with the Incapable Ruler was probably the cruellest punishment sentenced to him for his inability to distinguish right and wrong, for his egotistical arrogance. His punishment was to ensure that he would spend his entire lifetime in remorse and suffering. His punishment was to turn himself into the type of human he hated the most. His punishment was to never attain the forgiveness of the one he loved.
Everyone who had harmed His Majesty had to be punished. He was no exception.
【Ding, the target, Chu Xing’s Favourability Value +5, Blackening Value -50. The current Favourability Value is 90. The current Blackening Value is 0.】
Chu Xing raised his head slightly as if he could swallow down the indescribable agony in this manner. At this moment, he suddenly felt the person on the bed move slightly.
Chu Xing’s heart jumped, and he suddenly turned to look at Xie He. He watched as the other’s eyelashes trembled. Then, he slowly...opened his eyes.
At this moment, joy abruptly bubbled inside of his heart! His Majesty had awoken...he had finally awoken!
Chu Xing was flustered for a moment. With His Majesty’s pride, he would certainly think that he was dishonouring him! Chu Xing retracted his hand in haste, expression extremely nervous. He kind of wanted to leave at once, but he was also reluctant to leave. He could only stand, dumbfounded, before the bed.
Xie He blinked. A light breath came out of his mouth. It seemed like it took him a long time to make out who the person before him was. Instantly, he started to struggle, trying to escape like a frightened puppy. He glared at Chu Xing with eyes full of loathing, resentment, and silent endurance. He bit his lips firmly, body shaking.
Chu Xing’s heart hurt so much. He parted his lips, voice low and hoarse, “Your Majesty....”
The words “Your Majesty” made Xie He a bit confused.
Aside from when they were at morning court, the people in the palace would never call him “Your Majesty.” They would only call him...Xie He’s eyes twisted in pain. However, he was already used to enduring. Therefore, it was not obvious.
A long time later, he asked carefully, “Who...are you?”
Chu Xing felt like all the blood in his veins had frozen in that instant.
【444：Ao Ao Ao Ao! Is this amnesia?! ≧▽≦】
【Xie He：You could say that. Smile.JPG】
【444：(⊙v⊙) Hm?】
【Xie He：Strictly speaking, this is dissociative identity disorder. It’s commonly referred to as multiple personality disorder. The likeliness of developing this kind of mental disorder is increased because he had the tragic experience of having been sexually abused as a child.】
【444：Σ( ° △°|||)︴A mental disorder!】
【Xie He：Baby, there’s nothing surprising about this, ba? When an ordinary person’s life is adverse, they can develop a mental disorder, much less Jing Zhao who had endured such torment, ne? It would be abnormal for him to not have developed a mental illness. However, because he is the Emperor, no one has ever called it into question. Actually, I found out from Jing Zhao’s memories that he has dissociative identity disorder. It was just that the strongest personality had suppressed the rest. The tyrant Jing Zhao is his strongest personality. He is callous, ruthless, and cruel. He’s not afraid of any harm. He likes to inflict pain on others and even feels pleasure from it. With this kind of antisocial personality disorder, he would have been sent to a mental institution if he was in the modern age. Hehe, this is why if you are sick, you must get treated. The lack of mental institutions is responsible for society’s tragedies. :)】
【444：............】
【Xie He：To put it simply, so long as he’s the tyrant Jing Zhao, none of the tragic experiences can hurt him. This is a self-defense mechanism. If this personality wasn’t in control, the rest of the personalities would take turns coming out. I believe that this is an opportunity to change the situation. I am using the excuse that the tyrant personality was finally beaten down by Chu Xing’s torture. Without the self-defense mechanism, Jing Zhao’s weaker sides will be exposed.】
【Xie He：With Chu Xing’s current state of mind, if I woke up normally, we would certainly sink into a difficult-to-break impasse. Then, how could I interact with him happily? Therefore, I have decided that it would be more beneficial for me to throw away that identity for the sake of increasing the Favourability Value. Men...after all, it is rare to see gentle, attentive, considerate, good men like me. Most of them are the types who, if you scream at them, yelling “Do you know what you did wrong,” they will respond with “I don’t know.” How can it be enough to rely on others’ words to convince Chu Xing, this big man, to deeply understand his wrongs? Hearsay is nothing compared to seeing something with your own eyes. I will be attentive, gentle, and considerate, gradually letting him know what he has done wrong. Smile.JPG】
【444：......】How gentle, attentive, and considerate, ne....
【Xie He：Baby, I’m currently the version of Jing Zhao who is forever 16. :)】
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Chu Xing stood rigidly in place. He looked at the timid Xie He, who was curled up at the foot of the bed, heart encased in a layer of ice.
A long time later, he asked softly, “Your Majesty, do you not recognize me?”
Xie He fixed his black eyes onto him as if he was looking at an extremely terrifying demon. He bit his lips and didn’t speak.
Chu Xing felt greatly distressed. He reached out, wanting to hold Xie He, to appease his shaking shoulders. However, before he even touched the other, he saw Xie He suddenly cry out, staring at him with an extremely fearful gaze, “No...No...! Please let me go...please....”
Chu Xing’s hand froze in midair. His voice was pained, and he slowly said, “I won’t do anything to you.”
Xie He blinked his teary eyes as if he didn’t believe him. He still used a guarded and terrified gaze to look at him.
“I won’t touch you.”
Chu Xing dropped his hand, voice decrepit. Xie He’s terrified expression was like a knife carving at his heart. The pain was soul-deep. He forced himself to remain calm. After a pause, he said, “Your Majesty, you’ve slept for a very long time. Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something? I’ll go have someone prepare you something, alright?”
Xie He still didn’t respond.
Chu Xing had someone go prepare him a meal. He didn’t come any closer, afraid that he would scare Xie He. He let a servant girl wait upon Xie He instead.
However, Xie He didn’t move, even though he was clearly so hungry that even his stomach was growling. He only looked at the table full of delicious food. His gaze was only becoming increasingly more scared as if what was arranged before him were not delicacies but poison that would send him on his way.
Chu Xing clenched his fist. He didn’t want others to notice His Majesty’s abnormality. He chased the servant girl out, threatening her that she was not to share anything she saw or heard. Then, he closed the door and came back, asking Xie He softly, “Does Your Majesty not like this?”
Xie He’s body began to tremble. He looked at Chu Xing with an extremely terrified gaze and stammered, “Are you going to kill me...?”
Chu Xing froze, “Why does Your Majesty ask?”
Xie He looked up. There was extremely repressed forbearance within those black eyes. He said with tears in his eyes, “Empress Mother, ne...you work for Empress Mother, right...she told you to kill me...she’s finally going to kill me....”
“I beg you to let me see Empress Mother just once more, please, I’ll be good, please don’t kill me, I’m still useful....”
Xie He begged quietly, the deeply hidden resentment flitting through his eyes. Soon after, he looked with a fawning and admiring gaze at Chu Xing and said, “Y-you can do whatever you want to me. I’ll be good...I won’t resist you...please let me see Empress Mother one more time, alright?”
Chu Xing’s nails pierced the flesh of his palm. This pain was the only thing that could keep him calm. He did his utmost to make sure his eyes didn’t seem fierce and slowly said, “I don’t want to kill you.”
Xie He clearly didn’t believe him as he continued to plead, “Please....”
Chu Xing looked at Xie He, gaze unwavering. He looked at the other’s frightened and uneasy appearance and suddenly asked, “Your Majesty, what year is it?”
Xie He seemed dumbfounded but still replied obediently, “The sixth year of my reign.”
Chu Xing shut his eyes. During the sixth year of His Majesty’s reign, Lady Bian had been still sitting up high as the Empress Dowager. The Bian Family had been the number one aristocratic family in the Capital, extremely favoured by the Imperial family. Although the number one aristocratic family would be exterminated half a year later, right now, this version of His Majesty was still under the control of Lady Bian’s hands. He was still compromising for the sake of survival.
Before, Chu Xing could only guess as to how His Majesty’s life in the palace had been like at that time. Now, he was seeing it for himself.
Only by seeing it for himself could he know just how heart-wrenching it had been.
He had finally forced the person he loved into insanity. It was he who had brought his Majesty back to that nightmare.
Chu Xing pressed down the deep pain in his eyes and was silent for a long time before saying, “The Empress Dowager is sick. She can’t meet with you right now. Be at ease. I really did not come here to kill you...I...” Chu Xing looked at Xie He and suddenly thought of something. He used a very quiet voice to whisper, “I am under His Highness, Prince An. His Highness has ordered me to enter the palace to take care of you.”
Upon hearing this, Xie He’s eyes lit up, but the light very quickly extinguished. He was puzzled, “I am not familiar with Prince An. Why has he dispatched you here to take care of me?”
The little Emperor was very cautious, Chu Xing thought. He said, “Your Majesty need not suspect me. I know that you have been working with Prince An to free yourself of the Empress Dowager’s suppression. Have you told anyone else about this matter? If I was the Empress Dowager’s person, I would have reported this to her a long time ago and helped her eradicate you all. However, I have not. Therefore, you can trust me. I have no need to deceive you.”
Xie He seemed to find this very rational. He lowered his head and thought for a while.
Chu Xing also said, “His Highness, Prince An is very worried about your body. You have just suffered a great illness. If you don’t recuperate well, you won’t be able to hang on until the day you can kill your enemy with your own hands. Therefore, you must eat well, alright?”
Xie He finally seemed to trust him. His gaze towards Chu Xing was no longer as guarded and afraid as it had been in the beginning. He was silent for a moment and then said, “Then...you don’t have to treat me so well. If you’re like this...you’ll be discovered quickly.”
Chu Xing felt like something was stuck in his throat.
Xie He looked at the food on the table, “They would not let me eat so well...quickly have them take this away. Just give me a bit of leftovers. I’ve always eaten those. I won’t die.”
Chu Xing felt his eyes heat up. He opened his mouth but could not speak.
“Why aren’t you moving?” Xie He looked at him questioningly. Soon after, his expression changed, and he looked frightened again, “You...you’re tricking me, aren’t you?”
Chu Xing suddenly lifted the hem of his clothes and knelt. With a low voice, he said, “It is Chen who is incompetent to have actually made such a mistake. I will have them prepare the food anew.”
He had people come clear the table and had a bowl with a bit of leftovers brought in. He forced out, “Your Majesty, is this acceptable?”
This kind of meal...even the servants in the palace wouldn’t have to eat this. However, when Xie He saw this, he finally sighed in relief. Without any scruples, he began to eat as if this was normal.
Chu Xing stood at the side this whole time, watching him hold this single bowl, eating in such a careful manner...was this what His Majesty’s life had been like? What life of luxury? It had all been a lie...Xie He had lived a life worse than even the lowest class.
What qualifications did Chu Xing have to condemn the other as being excessively extravagant? That was what he had deserved to enjoy. It had all come so late...and yet, he still had had the nerve to criticize Xie He.
How cruel of him.
The author has something to say:
Finally, we can begin to abuse the General, la! \\(≧▽≦)/ Ai ya ya, President Xie’s new method of abusing gongs is about to go online. Just thinking about it makes me a little excited, ne~
Lastly, thank you for all the local tyrants providing for me with love~~~ (*￣3￣)╭
Eve: The innocence in poor 16 year old Jing Zhao. TT
Kara: I’m really impressed with this arc so far! The interesting use of DID was a fascinating plot twist! ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃) Also, it does successfully make my heart bleed for JZ. The boy needed help not all the torture, ridicule, isolation, and humiliation he got in the end. ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡