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“Shouldn’t you go home?” Irene inquired. A hushed whisper amidst a lift full of passengers. “It’s getting late, isn’t it?”

True, it was about that time now when noon and evening would merge, the better part of the day all but gone... and given the not-so-lateness of the hour, there was really no better time to call it a day – head back home.

Except, unfortunately, I believe I still have some unfinished business to take care of here... as well as a small bag slung around my shoulder that I’ve still yet to gift.

The elevator chimed the tune of the ground floor, and as everyone else began to funnel out the parting doors, I held her in place by the hand before she could even take a single step forward.

I glanced at her, lips in a half-smile. “You – ”

And that’s all I remembered.

.....

My words froze, my face contorted – surged relentlessly by a million volts of pleasure, fizzling my brain to near carnal delirium until I eventually let go of her the next second I could.

Then – before the elevator could swing close, Irene strolled out without skipping a beat, muttering only two well-chosen words for me as she did, “Nice try...”

What? H-How, when? Since when the hell could she amplify her power ’till just the mere touch of her skin felt like physically getting shot by cupid’s arrow?

Goddamn – good thing my pants aren’t skintight, shit...

I swallowed, washing down all my lust and arousal with a deep gulp of fresh air, stumbling and colliding with the elevator door on my way out after her, sputtering, “I didn – I didn’t even get to say anything yet.”

She threw back at me a deadened gaze. “You didn’t have to. You got that look on your face. Ria always had that look – I know you’re planning something again.”

“No,” I told her – the perfect tone, the perfect expression, the perfect lie... or so I thought so anyway.

“Ten bucks says you’re prying into my private life again,” She challenged. “I got a polygraph machine in the trunk of my car – care to place your bets?”

“Who the hell keeps a lie detector in the trunk of their car?”

“Is that a yes?”

“Alright, fine, I’ll keep my ten!” I conceded, confessing all my carnal sins. “You said you don’t do karaoke for fun, implying you must do other things to get your kicks – I wanted to try and find out what they are... and maybe... maybe do them with you.”

“Cheapskate...” Irene then slowed her pace, allowing me to catch up – and upon reaching her, she raised her hands outward, readjusting the hat on my head that had gone crooked. “I’m happy you want to spend time with me – honestly, I’m ecstatic you’re even here with me. But, listen, if we are ever going to do something, anything... then I would rather it be something that you want to do.”

“But I want to do what you want to do,” I said to her, stepping just an inch closer forward.

Irene drew herself back, arms back at her side, her soft gaze once more reflecting back the image of a perfect gentleman.

“Well, then it seems we’ve reached quite an impasse,” She said, turning away again with a small smile. “Because all I want to do now is to go back home.”

Before moving on, Irene whirled a glance back again, eyeing the bag swaying loosely around my shoulder. “And you better get that wrapped soon... I won’t accept anything you have to give until you strap a lovely red bow on it.”

I had half a mind to take her hand in mine again, but the thought of being tased kept me at bay... and so, having no choice but to leave goals unfulfilled, I stayed and watched her go.

For like three steps, before she stopped dead in her tracks again – halted.

A barricade suddenly appeared, preventing her from taking even a single step further. It was like one of those police lines they use, completely sealing the path – except I don’t recall them coming in red, green, and blue colors... much less alive... or even human-shaped at that.

Must be prototypes.

“Girls!” Irene exclaimed, momentarily losing her composure. “W-What are you still doing here? Team building’s over, you’re dismissed! Go!”

The three just smiled at her, those mischievous little smirks that I’ve seen enough of the last a lifetime.

“Yea, we know, detective, no need to tell us twice,” spoke the green one, unfazed in the face of her senior’s ire. “But you know us, don’t ya? Always lookin’ for the next fun thing.”

“Next fun thing?” Irene muttered, and I walked forward, going unnoticed – arriving in time to see the realization dawn on the detective’s face. “You... don’t tell me you three have been following us...”

“Discreetly!” proclaimed blue proudly.

Irene narrowed her lips with a sigh. “Listening in on us?”

“Discreetly...” affirmed red with a meek smile.

Irene flashed me a look – and I don’t know, but I get the feeling that somehow I’m to blame for all this now. Well... not that she’s entirely wrong that I was, but... whatever the hell happened to innocent before proven guilty?

“You got a lovely, darling boyfriend, detective! You seriously didn’t think we’d let the story end there, did you?” spoke the blue leader in the middle with a little giggle. “We had to know more! We had to see you in the field! So tailing you guys became the next fun thing!”

“It’s like ya always said, chief...” green muttered.

“Knowledge is more potent than any bullet,” quietly recited red in a near-perfect imitation of Irene’s inflection.

Judging by the expression on the sleuth detective’s face, it seems she’s a little miffed seeing her advice be so drastically misused.

“Any of you on shift this evening?” Irene asked, her words in a low heavy mutter.

“Nope, just ordinary citizens for the full twenty-four hours,” blue answered.

“Well, remind me to give a stern lecture about insubordination and their many examples the next time we’re on duty,” She said, eyeing the three of them with her signature stare. “I daresay there might be a valuable lesson there.”

“Will do, bossman,” green diligently saluted – and I’m just standing there wondering where she hides her enormous balls in those tight pants of hers.

Fuming in silence, Irene took the long route, sidestepping the trio and promptly resuming her surprisingly arduous journey to the front exit of the mall, heels clicking louder than ever before.

Now it’s just us four alone... well then...

Damn... forgot their names already.

Oh well...

“So,” I finally spoke out. “Just out of pure morbid curiosity, what have you guys learned during your covert op anyway?”

Blue was the first to have that twinkle in her eyes, followed closely by green and then finally red.

Seems the three hatched another bright idea again. Oh, boy...

“Oh, many, many things!” The leader proclaimed out loud. “At the very least, we can totally see how you’d come to fall in love with someone like her! Would you like us to list them?”

Then off in the distance, far, far in the shifting seas of the crowd – a familiar, slender figure stood frozen in place... and the clacking stopped.

Well, well...

“I’m all ears,” I urged them on. “Say away.”

“Well for starters – she’s a bombshell, isn’t she?” blue said, briefly taking a peek behind her. “Who wouldn’t fall for that? I mean, there are just so many things to her.”

The three then sprang off to list every single feature worth noting... at least according to their discretion.

“She’s got a great face.”

“She looks cool...”

“Not to mention those great tits to boot!”

“Always cool under pressure.”

“She’s nice and kind when she needs to be...”

“And can we just talk about that ass, man? Sheesh!”

“Okay, alright!” I quickly raised my hand up, swinging the joints in my neck that seemed to have gone stiff. “Good... great examples, guys. All very, very true, indeed. Good job, you found me out.”

I drifted my gaze forward for a brief moment, Irene in the near distance continuing to remain frozen in place – actually, I get the awful sensation like she’s waiting there, hoping the earth would just gobble her up right there and then.

And really... can relate.

“But here’s what we can’t figure out...” continued blue, a puzzled frown prominently on display.

“Ain’t no big riddle why you’d like the detective,” green elaborated, her expression also stumped.

“But we don’t know why she’d ever come to like you...” red finished, sounding a little apologetic.

Oh. Well...

Ouch.

“I mean, don’t get us wrong!” blue said quickly. “We think you’re a handsome guy... ish...”

“Witty,” shrugged green.

“Caring...” added red.

“But there are already thousands like you, thousands that tried, thousands that failed,” blue took over once more. “So it’s like, out of all of them – why is it you? I mean, why choose you?”

Again, my eyes hovered over their shoulders, peeking ahead at that suddenly sullen still figure forward... except this time, I didn’t feel any sensations emanating from the distance.

“But we digress, ’cause we got something else we noticed!” with a wave of the hand, blue quickly shifted the topic elsewhere. “So, we all know the detective is good sightseeing material, right? But who knew she wasn’t actually cut out to be girlfriend material, huh?”

What?

“What?”

“Yea!” green stepped up, backing the outlandish claim with a fervor to her gaze. “I mean, just look at you, man! A caring, loving boyfriend wanting nothing more than to share in his girlfriend’s pleasures, and what did she tell you? Exactly! Tough shit!”

.....

“I wouldn’t treat my boyfriend like that...” red muttered, batting timid eyes at me.

“I wouldn’t even treat a friend like that,” said blue with a disapproving shake of the head. “It’s kind of callous, cruel...”

“Uncaring...”

“Un... something!”

“Like, seriously, my good man...” went blue again, unable to hide a conniving smile growing wider and wider. “Are you sure she even loves you at all?”

Oh, man.

Oh boy.

Do you hear that? Do you see that? Hell, do you fucking feel that? Way off in the distance there, quickly, ominously, dangerously coming closer and closer – yeah, that.

That thing.

I think that’s death.

A might thrust forward, and Irene had barreled herself through the color police line effortlessly. Then, with a single step forward that shook the heavens, Irene seized my collar, pulling me in closer.

And in that daze, in that panic, all that I could see was her blushing, flustered face... feeling the quiver of fingers against my chest.

“Okay, my dear, darling boyfriend~” She hissed, straining a loving smile across her lips. “Let’s go have fun my way, okay?”

Dear God...

Behind her, huddled the three demons-in-training, sharing high-fives amongst themselves in great success.

“For your sake...” whispered blue to me. “I do hope you know how to shoot a gun.”