Chapter 165 - Reap What You Sow
It took a few seconds of sitting there in silence before I realized that I was waiting for the punchline. I stared at her - she looked so abashed saying it, yet at the same time so unashamed. Any moment I was expecting for the chuckles of 'I'm kidding'.
But there were no chuckles, there was no punchline. I asked, and she answered.
Something about how nonchalant she said it deeply unsettled me. I guess I was expecting remorse, a little admission of guilt for the most atrocious of wrongdoings ever committed.
Mom just continued smiling the same warm smile.
I wanted to press further, there's gotta be some self-bitterness, some regrets about the way she did things, right?
Guess my long hundred-yard stare was giving my thoughts away, for she suddenly up and spoke again.
"They're all true," She said, still ever as nonchalant. "Every story you've probably heard about me, every word of it."
"But why?" I asked, feeling the creases form on my forehead. "Why would you destroy everything, kill everyone - I just don't get it."
"Because I'm your mother? Because you know I'd never do such a thing?" Mom had this sad look. "Now you know why I never wanted to say anything. The look you have on your face… I could never bear it. What mother wants their own son to look at them like some kind of monster? I certainly don't. It would break my heart."
My jaw wouldn't shut close. The reason was so baffling it was enough to almost make me want to laugh because of the utter absurdity of it.
"So you didn't want to tell me the truth, you rather prefer hiding it all from me and Sammy - just so that your feelings can be spared?"
"Selfish, isn't it?" She said. "But that's just par for the course for cruel, vile, evil little Terestra."
"You always said to be honest with each other."
"I did."
"Hypocrite."
"I know."
The entire situation was doing laps around my head, and my head was always two laps behind - the hell am I supposed to react to anything? I don't want to hate her, but I feel like I should. I still wanted to see her as my mother, but the image of a ruined world, the thoughts of countless lives lost - I was staring at the face that did it.
But the her now and the her then were two vastly different people, yet they were both one and the same.
I guess this is why she didn't want to tell me, why it took forever to finally get my confirmation. Ignorance really was bliss… maybe she wasn't being selfish after all.
Mom continued to speak.
"I came here to tell you the whole truth, but I also wanted everything to stay how they are," Mom's eyes strayed to the front, where a small plate still laid perched atop my desk. "I suppose that's why I baked that cake, that's me still denying… me wanting everything between us to continue to stay normal… and if you had taken that bite, I'd have probably convinced myself that they still were."
This sit-down talk was a headache and a half, and I have a feeling it was far from being over. So many things left unsaid, so many things to be explained. I wanted to take it slow, cross them all off the list one by one - but it was a long list, and my patience was short.
"Dad was supposed to prevent that, prevent you. How'd you end up as loving husband and wife to two kids? How'd you both survived the destruction? Why Earth? Why do you keep getting sick? How'd you get your abilities? And…"
How do I use mine?
I never got to say it, and I don't think I ever have to… at least not for the time being. Here I was, wading through murky sludge of implications of having the epitome of evil for a mother, the be all end all of all magical prowess - a literal deus ex machina.
It's official, I must be blind. I have to be if I could miss the solution to all our problems staring at me right in the face.
I readjusted my questions.
"You're a Goddess, Mom," I turned my head, glancing backwards - watching the rise and fall of Adalia's soft breathing. "So what is the Blightfall still doing here? Why haven't you gotten rid of it?"
Mom flashed another mysterious smile to decipher. I had a bad feeling I knew what it meant.
"If you're gonna tell me you lost all your powers somehow I'm going to be very upset with you again."
"Nothing of the sort," She replied, shaking her head once. "I'm still ever as powerful as I once was. Perhaps a little rusty with age..."
"Then why are we still here?" I stood up to my feet, effortlessly I might add, due to an injury that has ceased to be, thanks to magic, her magic. "The city has a few days, the other places in the world a few weeks, there's nothing stopping you from stopping this!"
Mom continued to sit ever lax, a stray, wandering hand pulling at her ponytail that was draped over her left shoulder, gazing sheepishly at me as she did. "On the contrary, actually…"
I felt my heart sink like a boat with a gaping hole amidst raging tides. "I don't like contraries."
'Ah well…" She shrugged and smiled. "It is what it is, unfortunately."
"Why can't you use your magic? What's stopping you?"
"I've lived a very, very long life, my dear." She said, leaning backwards with her eyes staring wistfully upwards. "An existence far longer than I care to remember. I was there for the beginning of everything, and I'll still be here for the end of everything. This moment with you, living with a family - it's but a blink of an eye compared to the rest of my life."
"In the grand scheme of things, it was was very boring, miserable existence - and I was a very bored, miserable Goddess. I needed to keep myself occupied somehow, and what's a more occupying life than one raising a family? "
I was hearing her words, but it was like they were going through one ear and out the other. Hadn't a clue where she was going with this. I thought I'd let her know… in case she thinks I'm actually following along here.
"I don't understand, what does this have to do with - ?"
Then suddenly I did, I did understand - I was following. Just like with Dad, all I had to do was put myself in the shoes of a very bored Goddess looking for ways to relieve that boredom… then it was crystal clear to me.
I swallowed, but again - I just couldn't. "How many families did you have before you had us?"
Mom was beaming proudly… guess that meant I was right on the dot. I hate being right.
"Lots and lots," she said.
"You had kids?"
Her smile only widened. "Lots and lots."
"For how long has this been going for?"
"Well… let's put it this way - Kronocia's history is packed to the brim with evil maniacal megalomaniacs that sought to rule over the realm. It's a tale that's been repeated many times over. Now, let me ask you, where do you suppose they all came from? They didn't just come from out of nowhere, you know?"
If I didn't sit down soon my legs were gonna buckle - this revelation was something else entirely. My sister and I… we weren't her only family, her only children… I suppose it should have been obvious given her long unending life. That still didn't help soften the blow in any way, however. I still collapsed onto the chair beside the table, still staring at her from directly across like I was truly seeing her for the first time.
"That was all you?" I asked breathlessly. "All the evil, all those self-proclaimed dark lords… every single one of them was a child of yours?"
"Well… not all of them," She said quietly. "Only the most troublesome ones."
She said those words and all I heard was pride, that smile of hers beamed proudly. I hated that they did. I wanted her to be ashamed, I wanted her to renounce them, vilify them…
I got none of that.
"Oh no, don't worry though!" She said upon glancing at my face, her eyes immediately softening in worry. "You don't have to worry about it. My affections, my love… you and your sister will always be number one to me no matter what."
I slouched forward, my gaze drifting from hers. "Yeah, I bet you say that to all your kids."
"No, no… don't be jealous," Even her tone was extra tender. "I'm not lying, not anymore, I really do mean it when I say that."
I don't doubt it. Like I said before, I never have. I just needed time to process, time to digest. I was being barraged left and right with revelations… it was hard to take it all in stride.
Especially this one.
But the question still remains.
"What does this had to do with you not being able to use your magic?"
Mom closed her eyes again, and I felt dread once more - when those eyelids close and her expression drops… you know it's bad news, alright.
"When I destroyed Kronocia, suffice it to say that nothing else remained after that. Just a void… where only I exist, or so I thought. I've mothered many children, some more powerful than others, when I brought an end to the realm, I had thought I've brought an end to them too.
"I was wrong - and I've realized this too late. I've already came to Earth, already had you… and they've already grown. At least six of my children are still roaming between realms… and they're all looking for me."