Chapter 116 - Rain
The wind was picking.
Know what? Just serve me a wide-open five fingers spread out slapping in the face for every mention of the wind and its state on current affairs because if someone doesn't stop me asap, it'll be the only thing I'd be remarking on throughout this whole ordeal.
Can't forget also the unabating reverberation happening in the skies so looming and foreboding - if there were any point in time the reason we were going through all this trouble happened to slip my mind, it'd take only a simple glance up, a ninety degrees tilt of the neck, and it'd be all coming back to me in an instant.
But for now, intrusive reminders were the very last thing that I needed here. What I needed now was -
"Focus… determination… and … intent…" Adalia in sputters kept muttering to me. "Focus… determination… and…"
"I'm trying," earnestly I said, earnestly I whispered. "Focusing… determining… intent-ing..."
These three things acted as the three keys for the three shackled locks to unlock the pathway to many abilities that some may consider to be… unnatural.
And given its unorthodox nature, grasping the concept, comprehending the method, utilizing it to its fullest potential, was a far more complex uptaking than a simple game of tag and go seek.
I had one arm bridging the gap between me and Adalia, one arm straining, one arm aching, trembling, attempting and struggling to sway the inert, enfeebled vampire before me to my influence… all to no avail, as of yet.
That standing fan blowing a drafty breeze inside of me simply refused to redirect its flow out the open window - my magic, I could only ever feel it coursing, but never leaving.
Once or twice I did happen to notice in the briefest of instances Adalia's legs giving a slight buckle, and for those moments I thought were successes, merely turned out to be just her struggling still to keep herself upright. Nothing to do with me and my hand outstretched.
At this point, I could very well just blow air at her face and it'd be far more effective at getting her to stumble than anything I've been trying to do so far.
Focus, determination, and clear intent. I'm standing at three for three here, so why wasn't it working?
"Remember… your arm… isn't your…" Adalia couldn't finish that sentence, nor could she the next. "Your time… is running..."
Her body was so wracked with the want, the need to feed, that she was starting to salivate, her jagged fangs elongating past quivering lips, the struggle, the feeble war for control waging in the tremble of her misty eyes.
She was losing it.
We couldn't abort, I knew we couldn't stop just for this… it's now or nothing - I just needed to focus, keep focusing, and everything will be alright… everything will be just fine.
Even as her eyes gradually turned bloodshot… everything will still be fine if I just kept focused.
Her claws burrowing through the skin of her palms, the beads of crimson red dribbling down to her fingers - don't focus on them, focus on yourself, everything had to be fine.
"Teres… tra…" she was slurring. "Where's… Teres… tra…?"
She kept slurring. She kept bleeding. She kept salivating.
The flashes, the crackles, the howling… I had to stop them. I need to stop them. Everything must be fine.
Focus. Determination. Intent.
That was all I needed to make everything just fine. I still had my hand outstretched, so focused, so determined, so brazen with my intent… subjugate her, control her, save her!
And yet… and still…
Nothing was happening.
Did I even have those three things in the first place? Was I even trying hard enough?
Focus. Determination. Intent. One by one, in a resounding thud, they went falling, collapsing to the ground.
And inevitably, so did Adalia.
A last feeble sway to the left, she kept left, fell left, and laid sprawled over the garden, not by her own will, and regretfully, also not by my own, motionless amid unbloomed roses and wilting, greying tulips.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't do a single damn thing.
Lowered my arm at once, restraining, resisting the urge to wrench my hair out by the roots, for more pressing concerns were now at afoot here… I immediately rushed over to Adalia's side, knees to the dirt, my hands violently clutching bundles of grass.
Adalia was a ghost.
Her skin paler, whiter than the whites in her unblinking vacant gaze, breathing so faint I almost thought that she wasn't. I feared the worst just then, thinking perhaps we might have actually pushed the risk too far. That it was already too late.
That she's already frenzied.
I thought…
Then her bloodshot eyes slowly drifted, shifted, and began to stare back into my own.
Her lips twitched slightly.
"Time's… up…" She said, her voice hoarse, choking on every syllable she struggled to force out her paling lips. "Too… late…"
Didn't deserve it, lost the right to even think about it saying it, but there I was, gently holding on to her, whispering to her words I knew she didn't want to hear.
"I couldn't do it… I'm… I'm sorry."
Even in spite of it, Adalia was still very much kind, very much considerate… even when she rightfully shouldn't. She shook her head, and spoke again.
"Not… your… fault…"
Don't think I've ever despised myself more than I ever did before than just then. How many times? How many more damn times am I just gonna keep stumbling before enough was enough? Failing and failing, never succeeding? Why couldn't I just do something right for once? Just this once? Just here? Just now?
Why?
I gave everything I've had and it still wasn't enough. When will it ever be enough?
"You… tried…" Adalia kept speaking, trying, assuring. "It's… okay…"
It wasn't okay. It can never be okay. What's the good of sensing magic if I couldn't even fucking use it?
Couldn't pull through.
Stop. I had to stop. Keep focus.
I kept myself benumbed, kept myself from feeling, and rolled back a sleeve, drawing closer to her gaping lips a small patch of my skin… even my voice, my words, I drained them all of any emotions.
Because otherwise, I'd hear the bitterness resounding within them and nothing else.
"You're gonna need to feed now, Adalia…"
"Yes…"
Acceptance. That was all there was. No refusals, no denials, she wasn't steering away from it any longer, when before she remained so adamant, so stubborn on staving off of it.
Should be relieved that she wasn't arguing back with me anymore, but really all I felt was that same sinking feeling without any end… because if she was done fighting, then there really was nothing left to be done.
We couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
Adalia meekly leaned her face nearer to my arm, her fangs barely grazing the surface of my skin - I felt it poke slightly, felt her cold breath funneling through quivering lips, bracing for her at any moment finally sink into my flesh as she always has for every day now.
She didn't yet. Her eyes met mine again.
"It won't be… just… a nibble…" She warned me, still ever so considerate.
I offered her a small smile in return. "It's okay."
With that, Adalia finally allowed her fangs to pierce on through, effortlessly breaking the skin, ravenously burrowing deeper and deeper to the bone, guzzling onto every droplet of blood that continued to spill into her lips.
Pain. Incomprehensible pain. So unlike the little pecks and bites I was accustom to. It felt like just back then, back when she had frenzied, uncontrollable, violent, I could feel myself slipping away again…
The same feelings, the same sensations as back then.
My heartbeat slowing to a crawl, the squeezing, the tightness in my lungs, like an iron grip of death clutching my very soul. I never wanted to relive this moment again.
But here we were, small drops of red tainting the greens of the grass, the thunder, the lightning, continuing to persist with no one to stop it.
The pain… it was all well deserved.
I didn't complain, it's what I get for letting everybody down. Everybody here, in spite of everything holding them back, overcame the odds stacked against them, and manage to pull through in the end.
Everybody except for me.
Ash had gotten me back home safe and sound, through the Blight, through the chaos both out of the car and in, she did it.
Amanda pushed through her fears, her trauma, and brought me to exactly where I needed to go.
Irene, inhibited as she was, outright refused to concede, she was still there, she was still going.
And Adalia, starved, debilitated… bearing herself through constant pain and discomfort that I could never imagine, all this time, doing her absolute best.
I just needed to do mine… and I couldn't.
Now… I don't even know what's going to happen now. Adalia was feasting, and because of it, soon she too would end up in a slumber… and we couldn't do anything about it.
The Blight will fall… and that was it - the trance will only strengthen, and Irene wouldn't be able to wake any of them.
I failed.
Adalia eventually retracted her fangs and the color in her skin was returning. The veins showing from underneath gradually faded, her eyes returned to their misty white and her breathing began to settle.
Any other time, she'd be wandering back onto the couch in the living room, her hunger quenched, and immediately after, enter into a deep sleep where she wouldn't stir for hours on end.
This time… well, my arms weren't much comfortable as pillows, neither was the grass that her body laid limp upon. I could see it in her eyes, the way they started to droop, Adalia was putting up another fight, another struggle to keep herself awake.
Still doing her best, she...
"Keep… practicing… okay…?" Her words were in a mumble, her eyelids half-closed, I don't think she was even hearing herself anymore. "Just… practice… and… you… can. I know… I believe..."
There was that wind again, her wind… I could sense it, that small draft in her was starting to die down, that slightly open door closing shut.
"Not… your fault…"
She repeated herself.
I just watched, I just listened… waiting for the inevitable, the air was getting damper, the breeze was getting stronger… we should really be getting inside.
"I'm… sleeping… soon…" She continued to say, clinging desperately to any sense of awareness still left. "If… I can't… wake. My sister… first… okay…? P… please…?"
I nodded.
I don't think she saw it.
"I… trust… you…"
Hearing her say that. I remembered when she first said it, I was glad that she did.
Now I'm regretting that she ever had.
Lightning. Thunder.
A cold droplet landing atop my head. Another one blotted the stream of dark red flowing down my arm. The grass, the trees, the tiled roof of the house, a quiet pattering growing stronger.
I was scared to look up, I didn't want to see the consequences pouring down on top of me. I sat there, motionless… I knew I should really take shelter before I…
I wasn't speaking. I wasn't screaming. No pains in my chest. Adalia faced the skies, and on her face glistened only crystal-clear droplets, not a glimpse of red anywhere save for my blood coating her lips.
It wasn't Blight that was pouring.
A single glance up, a ninety degrees tilt of the neck, and instantly I felt a drop of water splashing into my eyes. I hurriedly blinked it away and kept staring.
Just rain. It was just rain.
Suddenly I was hearing a faint laughter sounding from below, a little weakening chuckle, when I went to go look… Adalia had this small smile plastered on her face.
It was the first time I've ever seen her smile, and through it, came the last words emerging out of her before she went peacefully into the embrace of slumber.
"Look…" She whispered to me, still with that smile that I just realized was only there to comfort. "It really was... just rain... after all…"