妻子的欲望

Nicholas fell silent. He was very surprised to hear Karenina\'s words and remembered about his two sons, Luciel and Jan, that he only found out about recently. He wasn\'t there for Luciel and Jan in the first six years of their lives.

Thinking of them always made his heart churn. Now, Nicholas didn\'t know whether the child that Karenina was carrying was really his child or not but he didn\'t want an innocent child to be the victim.

"Don\'t do it, Karenina, the child is innocent," he said gently.

"I know this child is innocent but if he was let alive, he will only get reproach from people because he was born without a father. People will call him a bastard," said Karenina, crying.

"I will accept the child and raise him," Nicholas said, making Karenina stunned. He added, "I want the child."

Nicholas only said it so that Karenina wouldn\'t abort the fetus. He would think about what to do with the baby and Karenina later, but at this moment, he knew he should try to get Karenina to change her mind.  Being in her shoes, she might not be thinking straight.

Gosh... was that baby really his? Did they really do the deed? Why couldn\'t he remember? He had started to remember many things about his past. He was sure it was only a matter of time until he could remember what happened between him and Karenina on that fateful night.

And when he did... would he be able to accept the truth if he finally confirmed that he did have sex with her and now she was carrying his baby?

Nicholas really dreaded it. Even if they did have sex, he didn\'t do it willingly. He was not in his right mind. He would make up for everything, as long as he was not forced to bind himself with Karenina in a marriage.

He had made up his mind not to live the life his father led. He would not be able to look Sophie in the eye if he did sleep with Karenina, but he wouldn\'t be able to marry Karenina. He would take care of her child and raise him properly. But they couldn\'t marry.

He looked at Karenina tiredly. "I will not let anyone mock the child or make his life suffer. I will make sure of that."

IF Karenina truly was carrying his child, Nicholas would take responsibility and raised him. This conversation made his mind wander to Sophie. Did the thought of aborting her children ever cross Sophie\'s mind after Nicholas left?

She was in a far worse situation than Karenina. She was all alone in a small shabby hut in Hauntingen. She had no means to raise a baby, let alone two. She must also think about how society would see her children after they were born without a father.

If Sophie had the same mentality as Karenina, Luciel and Jan wouldn\'t be here today.

This made Nicholas feel more gratitude and admiration swell in his heart for Sophie. She was such a strong woman and she didn\'t give up, no matter what the circumstances were.

As for Karenina...

He looked at the woman and was sure more than ever that he didn\'t want her to be the queen of Riga. Nicholas thought he would be happier living alone than spending the rest of his life with the woman he didn\'t love. He thought over time he would only resent her. It was not good for the child either.

Perhaps, he could raise the child with his mother and compensated Karenina with so much wealth.

Nicholas thought about many different scenarios, while Karenina felt her heart pounding in newfound hope.

She was shocked and could hardly believe what she heard. She didn\'t expect the king to relent so quickly. She thought that it would be very difficult to get the king to acknowledge the child in her womb.

She only pretended to plan to abort to check his reaction. Karenina  wouldn\'t really go along with that plan. She would use her baby as a pawn to make Nicholas feel guilty and later gave her whatever she wanted.

Karenina was surprised not without reason. From Doctor Lehman, who was a relative of her father, she heard that the king had sent the royal physician to Duke Romanov\'s manor to treat Jan. Upon hearing this news, Karenina could easily guess that the king had found out that Luciel and Jan were his children.

This further reduced the chances for the child she was carrying to receive recognition from the king. Previously, she was quite confident that the king would accept the child in her womb because the child would be his heir. If the king rejected her, Karenina would come crying to Queen Marianne.

The old queen was always fond of her. She also knew very well that Queen Marianne really wanted grandchildren. So, if the queen found out that Karenina was pregnant with her grandchild, then the queen would urge Nicholas to marry Karenina.

However, her brilliant plans were disrupted because of Jan and Luciel. Those two brats were ahead of her by six years.

Now, hearing that Nicholas was willing to accept her baby and even raise him, a new glimmer of hope reignited in Karenina\'s heart.

"I will keep this child if Your Majesty married me because, otherwise, it doesn\'t matter who this child will be cared for and raised by. This child will still be the subject of everyone\'s reproach. Therefore it is better for me to abort him now than to let him live just to listen to insults and everyone\'s ridicule," she said with tears streaming down her cheeks.

From behind her beautiful long lashes, Karenina watched Nicholas\' reaction. She had known him quite well from their interaction in the past six years. In her opinion, the only way she could get the king to marry her was to blackmail the king\'s emotions.

Nicholas really didn\'t want to make an innocent child a victim but he really couldn\'t marry Karenina either. He has given all his love to Sophie. Now, there was no more space in his heart left for any other woman.

"No," he said firmly. "I am sorry, but no."