妻子的欲望

"Mother, really… this is not a priority to me. I have so many things that I have to take care of and I don\'t have time for marriage," Nicholas still tried to insist. "I promise I will find myself a wife when the time is right."

"Nicholas… there will never be a better time than when your last remaining parent is still alive…" the queen replied in frustration. "Don\'t you want to see me take my last breath feeling at peace and relieved, knowing that my only child finally finds happiness?"

Nicholas looked at his mother flatly. Happiness? How could his mother associate happiness with marriage?

He had seen many couples around him who were in loveless marriages. Their unions were part of obligation, political deals, and were seen as chores. His parents\' marriage included.

Nicholas was aware that for nobles and the royalties, it was part of life and to be expected. So, he never associated marriage with happiness from the beginning.

He didn\'t mind political marriage because that was the reality for men and women in his position, and if he had never seen that woman the other day… he might not care about being shoved by his mother into marrying Lady Karenina.

But he had seen love and now he couldn\'t stop thinking about it. What if he could fall in love with a woman and marry for love?

It\'s true that Sophia Romanov was a married woman, but the fact that he could fall in love with a woman at first sight showed Nicholas that love was real and maybe… maybe someday he could fall in love again. If it wasn\'t Sophia Romanov, perhaps someday he could find a woman that made his heart flutter the way Sophia did.

Even if he had to wait for a long time, it would be worth it.

"Mother, that\'s why you must fight and stay with me. I want you to be with me when I find the woman I love and marry her," Nicholas touched his mother\'s arm gently. "I promise you I will find a good wife and you can feel at ease."

"You have shown no interest whatsoever." Queen Marianne looked at him disappointedly. "If I do not beg you now, how will I know that you will truly look for a wife and not shut yourself from the world?"

Queen Marianne  knew that her son truly avoided all of the galas, ballrooms, and social events like they were nothing more but excruciating places to be with. She feared that her son didn\'t trust anyone.

If her son actually had shown interest in perhaps another woman, a daughter of a duke, a princess that came from a neighboring kingdom then perhaps she would have relented.

Nicholas shook his head. "I can find myself a suitable wife if you give me time…"

"I cannot wait any longer, Nicholas!" Queen Marianne  said and placed a hand on her chest. She labored for breath and looked at Nicholas in a pitiful way. "Before I depart from this world, I wish to see you engaged with Karenina. That will make me feel at ease about leaving you behind. If you still say no, I will die now in agony."

Her last words suddenly brought the room into a deathly silence. Nobody said a word. The queen was quite stubborn and nobody could say no to her. Nicholas had tried using whatever excuses he could think of, but none of his words seemed to manage to convince the queen.

In Queen Marianne\'s eyes, Lady Karenina was a sweet girl who respected her father and got along well with the queen. She didn\'t see anyone else who would suit Nicholas as this woman with them.

Lady Karenina wasn\'t perfect, Queen Marianne had to admit that, but she seemed like a great match with Nicholas. Her son would learn how to soften up and open his heart to other people.

There wasn\'t much that Lady Karenina would be able to do, but the queen thought it would be good since having too strong and bull-headed of a woman would lead to arguments and disagreements.

Nicholas needed a woman who could support him, comfort him and be there for him to be a graceful presence whenever he needed someone. Queen Marianne  wished for someone who could accept her son.

If someday, the secret about Nicholas was once a monster would come out, he needed a wife who could accept him and be there for him no matter what.

Lady Karenina was the one.

However, Nicholas wasn\'t saying anything at all. He became silent at his mother\'s request. Why did she have to do it this way? Was it because he ignored every other attempt of hers?

Has this really become necessary?

"Nicholas, please!" Queen Marianne  called out to her son.

Nicholas closed his eyes and wished that the moment would just end without him making any promises to his mother. Unfortunately, he could feel the penetrative and unrelenting gaze of the queen.

"Do you really not care about me?" Queen Marianne\'s voice was strained. "I\'m doing this because I care about you. People will seek to take advantage of you as you ascend to the throne, but I know that Karenina will do nothing like that."

How was his mother so sure? Nicholas wanted to argue with the queen but didn\'t want to put her into a more precarious and unhappy state as she lay down on her bed.

"I know you care about me, mother…" Nicholas tried to say but couldn\'t continue his words. He could now also feel the gazes of the servant and royal doctor were directed at him.

It felt like a trap to the prince. How could he outwardly argue and reject his mother\'s wishes when she was sick and dying?

"Will you ask for Lady Karenina\'s hand in marriage before my very eyes, son?" Queen Marianne asked.

Nicholas gritted his teeth and gazed at Lady Karenina.  The young woman lightly stepped back in fear of the dark look on Nicholas\' face, but she still stood her ground.

Of course, who wouldn\'t want to miss the chance to marry the future king of the kingdom?

Queen Marianne spoke again. "Nicholas?"

.

.

________________________

From Missrealitybites:

I hate hospitals but two days ago I had to stay with my sister in one because she was having surgery. I don\'t know why, but I always associate hospitals with diseases (it\'s full of sick people) and I always tried to avoid it as best as I could. I wouldn\'t go into one unless I think I\'m dying.

The covid situation got me even more paranoid - but hey I can\'t let my sister go into surgery alone. :(((

And now I am starting to have a fever etc. I hope it\'s just my paranoia and I don\'t really get anything from the hospital. T_T

I hope wherever you are, you stay healthy and well. Don\'t take unnecessary risks with your health. Take care!