BXBX NOVEL Chapter 27 - Two Copies Of Each
«My father did give me some money in secret for an abortion. He told me that a young girl with a child had a difficult life,» Lara said.
She had no intention of lying. And she could not back up any story.
Saying her parents were dead might have required a grave, and she was not in the right mind to look for two Claytons in the graveyards.
And she didn\'t want to sugarcoat reality. She didn\'t like complaining, but Nate deserved to know the truth about his children. From the beginning to the end.
Also, only telling the truth, she could hope Nate would help her understand how to raise them better.
«What did you do, then?»
«I took the money and paid the hospital when I gave birth to them,» Lara replied with a chuckle. «I found out there were two babies only at the fifth month. I didn\'t go on checkups because... Well, I was just stubborn.»
«Did you regret your decision then?»
«I wouldn\'t have aborted even if I knew it from the start.»
«That\'s not what I meant. I\'m sorry.»
«At first, when I saw them the first few times, it was weird. I can understand how you\'re feeling now because it was the same for me. They were two defenceless creatures, and I was supposed to take care of them. And I had no clue about how to do it. They were strangers to me. But then, after a few days, we got used to each other.»
«The way you love your children is really... I haven\'t seen so much care in a long time.»
«I don\'t think it\'s anything out of the ordinary.»
«It\'s not that I don\'t want to be their father, Lara. Just... I don\'t know how.»
«I understand,» she repeated. «You don\'t need to hurry. You will find your way, and the kids will also come to accept you. I\'m glad that you\'re willing to try, at least.»
«How could I not? I already lost enough time, right? Six years are so long...»
Lara nodded, turning the page. There weren\'t many pictures all in all, as if she was trying to save the tape to have enough for all the important moments. And there wasn\'t any picture of Lara, except for one.
«What is this?» he inquired, pointing at the blurred picture. The only detail in focus was Lara\'s desperate expression as she tried to catch the camera. It wasn\'t such a riddle to guess what actually happened.
«Oh, this...» Lara chuckled.
She didn\'t seem angry. On the contrary, her face was so relaxed that one would think she was reliving a happy memory.
«The kids reached for the camera and broke it. They were four and tall enough for the table. I was distracted for barely a second, but it was enough for the misdeed to happen.»
«Is this why there aren\'t any pictures after that?»
She shrugged, returning her focus on the photos she did take. Why had Nate run through them so fast? He wanted to see everything at once, right?
«Here,» she said, turning back to the second page. «Here Scarlet started crawling. Jaden didn\'t go through that phase, so I could train with a single energetic kid. When he started to walk, I was already experienced.»
She then moved to another picture. The pups were still little, and they were wearing identical light green baby clothes.
«This is their first birthday.»
She smiled, but a tear appeared in the corner of her eye.
«As you see, I printed two copies of every photo. I intended to let both of them have a copy. But now, we can split them half and half.»
Nate nodded, even though the picture he wanted didn\'t have a second copy. That one was never intended for the pups, he thought.
«You can keep them,» he said. «After all, they indeed are two.»
«I think it\'s more important that you have them. Also, they are now getting older. They will be able to remember what happens now and in the next few years. I prefer they have vivid memories of a father rather than blurred pictures. It\'s better for them, isn\'t it?»
He reached out to her face and wiped her lone tear. It didn\'t slip on her cheek, but it was so annoying. He couldn\'t stand to see that pearl on her eyelashes, so he erased it.
«I will do as you tell me,» he said. All he wanted was to be of help.
Which meant he needed to share the burden with Lara. His feelings towards the pups didn\'t matter.
They were a fact. They were real. And, as an adult, he needed to take responsibility.
Lara had done all the work for the first six years, so it was his turn to sweat a little.
«I\'d like to spend a little time with them,» he said. «For now, we should know each other. We will decide what to do later. After you can witness with your own eyes that I\'m not dangerous for your kids.»
«I\'m not worried,» she said. «You\'re their father, after all. I\'m just ashamed of the way I fled six years ago. And how I failed at finding you later. But that\'s not something to worry about now.»
Her words sounded a little off, and her expression was blank.
Nate moved his hand away, hoping that instinctive action wouldn\'t cost him his mate.
She didn\'t shove his hand away, but the way she talked about that night made him wonder once again: did he make some unforgivable mistake?
If only he could find the courage to ask, maybe he would have found out the truth. Yet, he preferred not to inquire during their first attempt of a date.
At the same time, Lara didn\'t know they just had a date. A family date, at that. After having two children, she didn\'t consider dating as something she would have the time for, ever again.
She was too focused on her worries to think about the details. She felt shame for forgetting about Nate. For failing to find him when she found out about the babies.
How could she even find a man who she couldn\'t recall the face of? She only remembered that he was handsome and sweet.. And that he made her feel cherished, as much as it affected her mood for days after their meeting.