Chapter 105 Accepting The Situation And Mindset
Deep within the sea, where not even a ray of light reached, Zick\'s body lay upon the seabed.
BLOP~
After a long time, Slowly Zick\'s eyelids fluttered open, only to be exposed to peach black darkness again. There was no difference in the view whether the eyes were opened or closed.
The sight of two red eyes in the darkness was a creepy sight to see.
\'I am alive.....but where am I right at the moment?\'
Zick tried to move his body, but no matter how much he tried he couldn\'t even twitch a finger. Even opening his eyes took a lot of effort.
Seeing his body refusing to move, Zick started analysing his situation carefully, closing his eyes.
\'From the cold feeling on my skin, I must be in the deepest part of the sea right now, then the reason-\'
At that instant, memory started pouring into his head, making him dazed for a second.
Going through the memory, Zick couldn\'t help but feel his own heart jump from shock.
\'No way.....the awaken ability was a self-destructive type ability....\' Zick immediately started checking his body\'s condition with a heavy heart.
Zick could feel that even his senses had weakened to an unbelievable level. He couldn\'t sense what was around him more than 50 metres, almost going back to how it was before he became a dragonoid.
\'It\'s a mess....\' Feeling depressed, Zick looked at the heart which was like dried up wood.
The muscle fibres of his heart looked extremely weak and it beated for less than 30 times in a minute which was unbelievable. But with just that, the black heart was able to keep Zick alive this deep within the water.
It collected the mana in the surrounding, turning it into nutrients and sending it to every part of the body.
And the condition of his own blood and mana nerve were also dire.
The blood which was filled with vitality becoming that of dragon\'s, looked very weak. Along with its quality, all the abilities related to it were adjusted.
Zick could feel that he wouldn\'t be able to use the dragon scales ability anymore. The dragon eyes were also weakened to match the blood.
The dragon fear was also weakened matching the heart.
The reason no monster ate him till now was attributed to the dragon fear which was being released by Zick\'s body.
Though it could not make any monster in the master listen to Zick\'s order, it still kept them away.
Monsters were beings who followed their instinct more than anything else. So they wouldn\'t come near this area for no reason.
Never mind if he fell into an aquatic monster den having master level monsters present. Then, the only outcome for him was death.
The mana nerve could be said to be the thing which made Zick the saddest and depressed.
The mana nerve had regressed to that of a high rank knight. The mana still had black chaotic characteristic to it, but it had become transparent similar to how it was when he just broke through to the high rank knight level.
Luckily it still had the nature characteristic, boosting its power to the mid level of the high rank knight level.
Counting his somewhat superior physique now, his strength was at the peak of the high rank knight level.
The wounds inflicted on Zick\'s body externally were healed the moment he used the awakened ability to extract the origin of his own body and his everything.
But internally the wounds were still healing, making his body extremely weak right at the moment.
Even his lifespan had fallen to less than 50 years.
His affinity with magic fell to a level that was hard to perceive. He couldn\'t even tell to what degree it fell.
Using a dragon breath having the power to defeat Zrector had really drained Zick of almost everything.
The worst thing about all this was that, neither of the swordsman profession and mage profession could be raised again.
\'Though I won against Zrector, but in the process I lost all my potential along with a large amount of strength.\' Zick tried his best to be calm and moved on to the next thing.
\'It doesn\'t seem like I am in the deepest part of the ocean, if I was then my body would have already been crushed from the water pressure.\'
Next, Zick started checking his appearance, only to be surprised again.
His skin had become pale like snow, almost similar to that of a corpse. There were also two black curved horns on his head. Which made Zick think about the demonic race.
\'People might misunderstand me as being a demon, I have to do something about it.\'
There were black scales all over his body which were exposed as he lay naked on the seabed.
The place with the most scales were his torso, the back of his hands ankle and neck.
The scales were smaller than how it was when he awakened, which made Zick a little relieved. He could hide it somehow by wearing hood, the only problem were the scales in the face and horn
\'I should peeled them away after getting out of the water, I have more than 50 high rank potions in the space ring, so it shouldn\'t be a problem. I should also cut off the horns with my curse sword, though I am not sure if any of my hair would grow back.\'
The tail and the wings had withered away after the awakened ability effect came to an end.
Even Zick\'s body had aged by two years, he looked just like a 17 years old man, with a sickly physique.
\'Even though I have lost almost everything, I still have my life. As long as I am alive without a doubt I will find a way to increase my potential.\'
\'If I just give up from this much, then I should just give up on my life! To attain eternal life I am ready to do anything.\'
\'Only by giving my all will the goal of eternal life be more interesting.\'
This was the biggest setback he had faced since the day he arrived in this world. But Zick fully accepted it calmly.
Zick had realised another thing through this fight.
The superficiality of winning and losing.
To Zick winning and losing was something that mattered a lot in this world. After all, losing might even lead to his death here. Only by winning could he be safe.
But, was that really the case?
Zick had won against Zrector and was still alive so it could be the truth in a way. But on the other hand he had lost many things, without gaining any benefits in the slightest.
This changed a little of his mindset, winning wasn\'t the only thing that was important. He had to see how much benefit there was to gain.
\'What\'s the point of fighting if there is no benefits? To pursue the supreme goal of eternal life getting as many benefits as possible is very important. This fight against Zrector was different as there was no other way, but I should keep this in my mind as I move forward.\'
To Zick his pride amounted to nothing in front of pursuing his goal.
After finishing to Check himself, Zick started thinking about his future movements.
Zick could not move his body with the water pressure applied to his body. In his current state where his body was in a weakened state with many internal wounds, it was impossible to move.
Zick decided to check his magic capabilities first. He tried to move the water around him, but stopped the very next moment feeling like many needles poking his head at once.
Zick\'s mana affinity had fallen tremendously, he would have been able to use magic even in his current weak mind state, but now it seems impossible.
Zick wanted to use healing potions to quicken his wound recovering rate. But now with no physical and magical power he could only give up on it and wait.
With his current natural healing capability, Zick estimated that it would take many days, even weeks to heal totally. Which was totally unacceptable to him.
Even a second was very precious to him, giving it his all at every moment, would increase his survival chance as well as take him nearer to his goal.
\'I can only try using magic once my mind recovers. I should heal myself totally so that I can have a higher chance of surviving in the future.\'
As Zick thought of all this, suddenly he noticed something. His connection with Butler Von had vanished. He had sensed all his connections once after he was teleported above the ocean and he was able to sense their connection.
Zick was able to tell what happened to Butler Von even without thinking too deeply about it.
\'He must have died.....\' Zick couldn\'t help but feel a little emotions rising within him.
Butler Von was the first person who Zick had met after coming to this world. As well as the person who stayed the longest beside him.
\'Sigh.....this is just how it works. If the enemy can kill me, that is the testament to his strength. This is a world where the strongest survive, if I die because of anyone else, that is because I am weak, it is my own lack of capability, it is my fault!\'
Zick had known this from the moment he came to this world. Though he had an aversion to it, not accepting it totally, now he accepted it very easily.
Only by accepting the way this world works could it broaden his mindset. Allowing him to learn and grow more.
The weak were devoured by the strong, was this not a natural thing?
Thus, in Zick\'s heart, he didn\'t feel any pointless hatred or grudge. He had nothing to gain from this!
The little emotions that rose within him were also discarded.
Though thinking like this might change him, Zick never stopped himself from adapting a mindset which would help in attaining eternal life the most.
Doing everything he could to attain this made him excited as well as happy.
Only by doing his best could he die without any regrets.
Even if his whole life ends up as a failure, he could die with a smile on his face.
Because this was what he wanted to do!
Zick had enough determination to do anything to walk in the path he had chosen. He threw Butler Von\'s death out of his head, not feeling anything anymore.
\'But this incident was really unexpected, I don\'t think I did anything to make the magic disaster happen earlier like this\' With nothing else to do, Zick continued pondering about other things not wasting his time.