金瓶梅第2部

Krysaos wasn't immortal. He was a Bronze-Rank-- and barely stronger than a regular person.

All he had to do was trust in Mina... and get through the trap path-- even if he had to crawl to finish it.

As long as he made it out in one piece, the LT could use his weird magic to heal him.

Adventuring.

It was hard to believe that some people made a living off of being in the shite all the time.

"Alright, girlie," Krysaos adjusted his Captain's hat and put on his usual fake grin. "On me."

"Aye aye, Captain!" Water mana swirled around Mina and she directed the stream with her hands, "⌈Swiftness of the Coursing River!⌋"

Krysaos took a deep breath, reinvigorated by the familiar scent of the ocean and the misty spray on his skin.

As long as he had Mina, he could survive.

He got to his feet, supporting himself on the adjacent wall...

--when a shrill, scraping noise rumbled from behind the bricks.

Slowly... he turned his head and watched as his hand was on a brick that was... receding?

"Huh, that's weird..." He lifted his hand off it... but the thing had a mind of its own. Eventually, it stopped with a resounding *klak* sound.

"Oh, f*ck me."

⁆ So there I was... rooted deep in the wrinkled arse-hole of the Tree God's stupid Forest. ⁅

⁆ I was bossing my way through all sorts of traps, felling deadly foes left and right, and giving out orders like a badass Captain of my particular reputation rightly should. ⁅

⁆ But... the minions of the Tree God, they conspired against me. They hunted me down and, as I was recovering, they tricked me into triggering a loathsome trap! ⁅

...Yet another trap.

In the... trap path.

It really shouldn't have been that surprising...

Kryasos was absolutely not going to put that in his log.

⁆ Once I heard the click, I knew I was done for... but still, I tried to escape. I leapt to the side with a mighty leap, but I found myself falling into the darkness... deep into the abyss. ⁅

"OH, F*CK MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

⁆ I roared a battlecry as I headed towards wherever the fates were taking me... ⁅

⁆ It felt like my stomach had risen up to my chest and the wind from nowhere battered my face. ⁅

⁆ I'd clenched my anus so tight, it could have crushed jade into powder. ⁅

⁆ However... the falling bit got old after about two minutes. ⁅

⁆ Clearly, death was afraid to take me-- or he was doing me a favor since we're best buddies. But still... that still left the problem of me falling forever through nothingness. ⁅

⁆ So... I did what any dashing and handsome ship Captain would do. I grabbed my hat, I crossed my arms, and then I tried to figure out what the hells I could do to get the hells out of there... ⁅

Krysaos groaned as he squinted his eyes, trying to see something... anything in the direction he was falling.

Nothing.

It didn't make sense... so he figured he must have been affected by some kind of magic spell.

Krysaos knew how ridiculous some traps could get. He and Tycon worked on one before, on the deck of the Neptune's Revenge.

Some trapmasters were crazy creative-- and powerful. Whoever made the infinite falling trap was at least the second one.

But... he figured since he was still alive, there was probably some kind of trick to it.

He tried scanning for mana like Tycon had taught him to... but that was no use. His mind was still in a haze from potion sickness and just closing his eyes made him feel sick.

...Hoping it'd make him feel better, he stuck his finger deep into his mouth.

The result was a few muscle-wracking dry heaves... but nothing came out.

All in all, Krysaos tried over a dozen different things before attempting to... swim through the air as if it were water.

For whatever gods-damned reason, that worked just fine.

Kicking his legs, he hit the surface-- his world going from total darkness to the interior of a... house?

⁆ So when I came to... I was in a wooden room-- a bedroom, it looked like.  ⁅

Most everything looked like it was made out of wood-- something like he'd imagined the inside of the homes in Whitehearth looked.

The windows were designer shutters that had too many holes in them to keep anything out. The bed looked like something a noble would have slept on-- so all for show and probably just hard as the floor.

⁆ It looked like I was in... what I figured heaven to probably look like. Everything was real pretty-- fitted sheets on the bed, fancy windows. ⁅

⁆ But me being in any of the eleven heavens didn't make any sense. ⁅

⁆ I'm the type of guy that has no issue declaring war on one of their gods, after all. ⁅

Krysaos climbed out of... a wooden tub of some kind and checked his surroundings.

⁆ I'd literally just emerged from the bathtub... but there ain't any bathtub that deep. ⁅

⁆ There was a giant bug in the wall providing light-- clearly also part of my fever dream. ⁆

The fat-looking winged insect was about the size of a dog. Its huge arse glowed a cool blue that lit the room.

Krysaos internally admitted it was pretty ingenious. He wanted one... but then he recalled that his crew would probably eat it.

⁅ Then the clothes dresser was shaking, trying to talk to me, too. ⁅

"Get me OUT of here you IDIOT!!"

Krysaos narrowed his eyes. He recognized that voice... and that tone of speaking.

⁆ But... as nonsensical as everything was, I was completely convinced it was real. ⁅

He rolled his eyes as he wrung out his Captain's hat, knowing perfectly well that he was about to do something real stupid.

"Like I'm gonna listen to you, talking dresser," He groaned. "I know what a mimic is."

"Fool human!" The dresser shouted, "Release me THIS instant or I will jam one of your precious Corallidae crewmen UP YOUR--"

"Seven hells, girlie," Krysaos shook his head as he opened the dresser door. "I was jus' messin' around."

And as expected, Princess Imperia of House Vulkoori tumbled out... and into his waiting arms.