金瓶梅第2部

"(You idiot!!)" Monty whacked Azalea with his tail, flicking his tongue judgmentally, "(Now our EXIT'S blocked off!)"

"(Sh-shut up!!)" Izzy hissed back, "(I was thinking about something important!!)"

Yeah... That was it.

One of the humans in the black devil armor sat on his helmet, in front of their exit path. His green hair spilt handsomely down his brow-- not that Izzy was entirely certain what a handsome human was supposed to look like.

He had the same golden eyes... and looked pretty scary... and he probably wasn't going to let her and Monty past...

"Are you two quite done?" The human asked.

"(NO!)" "(YEAH!!)"

Izzy and Monty shared a look of an annoyance.

"(YES!)" "(NO!!)"

"(Now listen here, you mushroom-brained male!)"

"(Empty night, Izzy, can you just THINK for one gods-forsaken--)"

"That will be enough," The human commanded. "Answer my questions or I'll kill you."

"(I ain't scared of you, human!!)" Monty hissed... thrumming his tail to the stones like a warning rattle. He had been practicing his intimidation technique-- which meant he was actually very scared.

"(Um... Monty...)"

"(WHAAAT?!)"

Izzy hesitated... Something was strange about the golden-eyed human... something familiar, "(The um... the human can understand Parseltongue.)"

"(TSS! Like I care! He's just a-- wait... hold on!)"

The human stood up and began walking towards Monty. Even though it looked like he was walking slowly, Monty was smoothly snatched up by the tail and held upside down before he could react.

As quick as a flash of light, Monty shot forward and tried to sink his fangs into the human's leg... but he couldn't pierce through the metal.

The human spoke in a low voice... slow, like a cold, unfeeling murderer... "When I whip you like a rope, the force will break your spine and sever your spinal cord. You will die instantaneously."

"(WAIT! HOLD ON!! I'm sorry! I'M SORRYYYY!!!)" Monty cried, "(IZZY!! DO SOMETHING!!!)"

Izzy quickly scanned the room for an exit... but there was nowhere she could fit through that wasn't the way they came and the way the human was blocking, "(If you distract him, I can rush past and escape!!)"

"(I mean-- SAVE ME!!!)"

"(Oh! I'm coming!)"

Izzy coiled up and flung herself through the air... at the human's unguarded neck. She was going to get it! She tried to sink her fangs into that soft, human flesh...

...She gnawed, trying to get her fangs to pierce into that soft, squishy...

She steadied herself, wrapping her body around the human's waist, "(MONTY!! It's not working!!!)"

"(What do you MEAN it's not working?!)"

"(I can't bite him!!)"

"(What do you mean you CAN'T BITE HIM?! You're RIGHT there! Just-- just put your teeth into him! That's what BITING IS!!!)"

"(I know, but it's like-- it's like his skin is made of metal!! My fangs slip right off!)"

Izzy felt cold, gauntleted hands grasp her body... It was as she'd feared.

She was going to die. Regret filled her heart of all the things she wished she could have done!

...Regret filled her heart that she had no life goals to speak of!

But she wanted to live! To LIIIIIIVE!!!

"Name?" The human asked.

"(Azalea!! And I'll do anything! Anything you want! Just let me liiiiiive!!!)"

The human lifted up Monty by his tail, "And you?"

"(Anthemon!! I'll do anything she can do, but better!! No one in the Realm wants to live more than I do!!!!)"

The golden-eyed human sighed... "Miss Azalea, Mister Anthemon... allow me to rephrase my earlier statement... If you answer my questions, the both of you will live."

Monty held still, allowing himself to swing as if he were dead, "(Uh, yeah. That works for me.)"

Izzy nodded, "(Y-yeah... That's fine.)"

"Now..." The human raised an eyebrow, "What can you tell me about the Snake Cult?"

...

Tycondrius had followed two young shadow snakes out of the chapel area. They were very handsome individuals, with gentle wisps of dark smoke diffusing from their deep onyx scales.

By their sizes... each longer than his arm, they should have been at least a few years old... and ironically, the female was smaller than the male... However, they acted like they were barely hatchlings.

Initially, Tycon was planning on killing them both.

But they were idiots... idiots that were more a danger to themselves than to anyone around them.

Tycon decided to kill them only if they upset him... or if they proved to have no value.

Thus, he used them as a source of information.

After the threat of death and a subsequent offer of life, they were... surprisingly informative.

If Mister Anthemon answered one of his questions, then Miss Azalea, not to be outdone, filled in the gaps. The same happened, with the roles reversed.

Tycon asked about the Snake Cult... They were all dead and gone.

He asked about the Dwarves... They disappeared, as well.

Apparently, all that was down in the Halls of the Dead Serpent were serpents and... the dead.

Apt.

"(Wh... who are you, Lord? Who can transform into a human?)" Azalea tilted her tiny triangular head. Tycon appreciated her youthful curiosity.

"(Izzy! You can't just ask a straight question like that!?)" Anthemon snapped, "Lord... would you grace us with the honor of learning thy name?)

Respectful courtesy. Tycon appreciated that, as well.

Still seated on his helmet, he reclined his back against a wall... "One day, should you decide to serve me, I will grant you my name. As of now, young hatchlings, neither of you are qualified."

The two younger snakes looked at each other incredulously...

...Tycon nodded, feeling proud of himself. He was a Prince among snake-kind, after all. Serving under him would be an honor.

"(Ehh... you don't really look all that important,") Anthemon nonchalantly cleaned his eyes with his tongue.

"(You probably enslave all of your girls...)" Azalea groaned.

Tycon sighed as he grabbed the two hatchlings by their tails.

"(PLEASE!!! SIR LORD GRAND SERGEANT CAPTAIN!! I ONLY WISH TO SERVE!!)" Anthemon hissed in desperation, "(Use my body as you will, against THY ENEMIES!!!)"

"(Please ENSLAVE ME, MASTER EMPEROR-ICAL LORD SIR!! I'll serve WAYYYYY better than Monty can!! I can even do the SEX!!)"

...Azalea's offer somehow managed to be even worse than her companion's.

Tycon took a deep breath. Then another. He was very... very close to killing them both.

"Listen closely, younglings... Do you see the symbol on my shoulder?"