BXBX NOVEL Chapter 217 209: What I Desire
"I have always been watching over you. That mask of yours is mine, after all."
Those were the first words I heard in that empty space inside my head.
"The spatial magic would have been troublesome, I wouldn\'t have been able to do see anything if you kept me there, but I see my dear Charlotte\'s ring immediately sucked me in."
The demon of many faces.
The ruler of all rhetoric and sciences.
Grand Arch-Duke of Hell, and one of the strongest demons in existence despite having next to no physical prowess.
"My name is Dantalian, and this place within your memories was made by me."
It wasn\'t shocking.
Nothing was shocking, not after I had just ended another spirit, and crushed it under my thumbs.
"So? Should I kill you as well?"
"That would be quite inconvenient. You see, that body of yours was supposed to be a vessel for me. I had made a promise with your mother."
I remember looking down at my hands, at the stone in my hand.
"Too bad, it\'s already mine."
"Right. And I don\'t see any reason to change that," Dantalian\'s hair, a dark shade of pink like the petals of a magenta fluttered slightly. "The original soul returned somehow two years back."
The time I met Dawn.
"You must have noticed it too, whoever you are," Dantalian\'s words had continued that time like the plucking of a sweet lyre, unfortunately, her face was a mess just like all the other faces I had seen. I had no right to criticize, after all, my skull was smashed in too. "The influence of that child must have grown unbearably stronger on you."
It had.
So Eugene Hall….
"Indeed. He held memories of the future…" Dantalian now stood in front of me.
She could tell what I was thinking, huh?
"Ufufu, how quick to catch on." Dantalian leaned closer. "You seek strength, but that is impossible. I seek something too, but that is impossible as well."
"Why?"
"Fate."
That wretched word. It was something I had crushed many times over.
"Fate stands in our way."
My heart was a mess and so was my mind.
"There are others like that being who have tightened the hold of fate around our necks."
"Get to the point. I have no time for such cryptic bullshit."
It was then that a surprise hit me.
"Oh! You survived, Eugy!"
Titania.
The fairy that had contracted with Eugene Hall returned to that same space. In that place inside my mind.
"Why…"
"Don\'t be foolish, don\'t you know it too?" Titania, sitting atop my shoulder had spoken. "Why would an evil queen like me want a trash, useless bastard like that one? What I wanted was you."
Me.
"A murky, self-righteous, hypocrite. A fake like you holds no remorse."
Flashing the brightest smile, she had spoken.
"Isn\'t trash like you perfect for me?"
Trash….
"That\'s true," Dantalian chimed in. "It\'s been a long time, insect."
"Oh my, it\'s the demon bimbo!" Titania held my hair tight. "Well anyway, this bitch isn\'t lying, Eugy."
"What do you guys mean?"
It was too confusing.
I couldn\'t understand things at all.
"Indeed. You, whoever you are, you can\'t grow stronger here since you don\'t belong here."
"That\'s stupid—"
"Say, don\'t you feel weaknesses piling around you? Your emotions?"
"They are gone now."
"But strength still won\'t find you."
It was stupid.
"As long as you are in that body. In that self."
As long as I was like this.
"As long as people who are blessed with more love from the universe than you exist. People connected by fate that should stand in your way. Like that redhead, and his princesses."
Luka, the protagonist. The love interests.
"As long as you are who you are."
As long as I was Eugene Hall.
As long as I was the villain.
"You will lose."
The villain had to die at the end.
"This is not a game…" I muttered, almost on my own.
"I know…"
I could feel Dantalian\'s arms wrapping around me.
"I want something too," she whispered. "Something I can\'t get, because I am trapped in the same fate as you."
"The same goes for me, Eugy… I too, want Alfheim. But I have already failed before, because the world itself was in my way. I was even sealed away, Eugy. You already know right?"
"What is all this…"
"It is but the truth," Dantalian continued.
"There are people who were brought back to the past, we already know, don\'t we? They will stop that demon from getting her hell, they will stop me from getting my Alfheim… and they will stop you from getting your strength."
"You can try all you want, but fortune is a fickle mistress… Nay, fortune is a bitch."
"The only way to tame bitches is to fuck them over."
"Then…" I said, my knees wobbling. I needed to grow strong. Strength. That was the only thing that could make me. As long as I was strong, that I killed Yujin… that I killed Eugene… none of it will matter.
As long as I had strength, I can be whoever I am.
"What do we do?"
I asked.
And an answer came back.
"Kill them."
I fell to my back.
But those two didn\'t let go.
My sanity was already thin.
I could fix it with strength.
I could fix it all with strength. That\'s the only answer that was in my mind.
But what did these guys want?
If my sanity was a spider thread, then these two were prisoners of hell.
"We\'re the same, all three of us."
"We\'re trash, thrown away by fate."
The sinners grabbed my feet and pulled me down.
When I opened my eyes, the white world of my memories was gone.
All of it was replaced by walls of black.
Walls that kept circling in, ready to choke me to death.
Walls that had no escape. Cold walls.
But even in that coldness, two souls hung tight to me.
"I don\'t think I need your vessel," one said.
"As long as I have you, it would be possible," the other continued.
Who spoke what, I couldn\'t tell.
"Tell me, Eugy. Where else would fake trash like you go?"
"It\'s natural, you can only stick with other trash."
"But is being trash your end? It isn\'t mine."
"And I know for sure it isn\'t yours either."
Calling it the thread of a spider…
How naive.
The thread of a spider would have snapped long ago.
But I…
I was the one loosening my grip.
I was the one letting go of the thread.
"If it\'s us together, we can defeat fate."
This game.
"That redhead, his lovers," both their voices merged into one as their grips around my neck tightened. "The outer gods and the ones inside."
"I only seek to rule Hell."
"And I want Alfheim."
"And you… want strength…"
"We can help you, if you can help us."
"Will you flip fate with us?"
My fist loosened and my hand opened up.
.
.
.
I let go of the thread.
Not anyone else. But I did.
"HAHA!"
I laughed.
That day remained clear in my head.
With the two demons, the two fairies wrapped around me, I held my head and laughed.
"HAHAHHA! HAHAHAAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
I laughed.
"HAHAHAH!"
And then laughed some more.
The two thought they could join in at first.
But were left stumped.
And then, I reached out my hands.
My fingers grabbed both of their necks.
"Don\'t fuck with me," I said.
My goal was nowhere around them.
"Trash? Is that what you think I am?"
"Kuh…"
"Eugy… what are you…"
"Don\'t pile me in the same heap as yourselves, you worthless scum."
I wasn\'t just anyone.
It wasn\'t strength I seemed.
I didn\'t want to be stronger.
"I don\'t want to be stronger at all!!!!!!"
My voice erupted.
The walls surrounding me caved.
A fucking spider thread? Don\'t mess with me.
"W-what… then?"
"Whatever you desire! It will always be in your way! Fate will always be in your way!"
Since they couldn\'t shut up, I tossed them to the ground and stepped on them.
"I am not going to be stronger."
Clarity filled my mind again.
Indeed, I was lost.
Eugene Hall had made me lost.
Fate? Protagonist? Games?
I could kill them all without batting an eye.
"Your hell. Your Alfheim. Your world and every other. I seek all of it."
To \'grow stronger\' how foolish.
"This fate or whatever can go suck my dick. And so can the both of you, because if you want any chance of flipping it over, you\'re going to rely on me."
I wasn\'t going to follow their orders.
I wasn\'t going to follow their rules.
If the prisoners of hell dared to scratch my feet, I would stop right there and show them who\'s boss.
Nothing could stand in my way.
Emotions, love, none of that mattered.
I would use anything and everything.
For that was my duty.
That was my responsibility...
"What I want to be is…"
It was the responsibility of…
"The Strongest."
***
[A/N: I decided to sacrifice a slightly neat twist of them being under Eugy instead of it being the other way around and added the explanation. I was originally going to let the events that happened after Eugy\'s entire fake fiasco be in the dark, but I guess I have learned my lesson since last time when it comes to twists with personality. With some patience I could have handled this better, but its even better to keep things exciting and punchy?]