Chapter 101 - Like A Light Switch
Angela never planned on telling Gael what she was mad about. Because telling him would mean that what happened on the island did something to her. Telling him would mean that she admits she was actually falling for him—which she still stubbornly denied until now.
For a while, she had already convinced herself that not hearing from him was for the best. She was battling with herself that seemed to be divided into two: one that was waiting for him to suddenly pop up while the other wished he would never show his face again.
Not hearing nor seeing him sucked because she was always wondering what happened to him. Was he still alive? Was he okay? \'Had he forgotten about me?\'
Not hearing nor seeing him sucked because she had all this anger pent up inside, and if only he would appear before her, at least she could release all that by punching him in the eye.
But no. Of course, she had to suffer. Of course, it wasn\'t that easy. Of course, she had to keep waiting. And that\'s what she did; she told herself to wait. That man would surely show up. That man would beg for her to talk to him. That man would kneel down and ask for forgiveness and she was waiting for that day to come.
So she waited. And waited. And waited some more.
For others, three months would seem like a short time. If it were any other circumstances, Angela would agree. But not for this, not when she couldn\'t help herself but count the hours like an idiot waiting for someone who wasn\'t coming. But still, she waited. Because that\'s who she was.
Thankfully, she had the Love Tales project to keep herself from thinking about him. It was hard, at first. It was as if she had to switch her mind on and off like a light switch—turning it on when she needed to concentrate on her book and turning it off when she was about to sleep. And that was scary in the evening because it felt so dark when it was \'off\'.
But she kept pushing through until she was feeling numb. From time to time, she would still be reminded of him, and she wondered when he would show up or if he ever would.
And when he did a week ago, everything she thought she wanted to tell him just vanished.
After all the waiting that she did—when he finally showed up, Angela resorted to not wanting to speak to him. Because speaking to him—even just looking at him—hurt.
As she sat on the passenger\'s seat with her mind in shambles, she swallowed the huge lump in her dry throat.
Gael was just less than an arm\'s length away. He was so close that she could feel the heat radiating from his body. Angela was almost tempted to let him hold her—it was so cold in December.
The pained smile on her face caused his heart to twist. He didn\'t like that she smiled like that, knowing she wasn\'t happy at all. Her smile used to be genuine and so bright that he loved looking at it. And seeing her like this made him curse himself for he had caused this.
The moment she spoke about revenge, he already had a feeling as to what she was talking about. However, he wasn\'t prepared to hear the same words he uttered back on the island.
"Becca…" Gael muttered under gritted teeth. No wonder his ex and even Samantha weren\'t talking to him.
"Hmmm… Funny how the one who introduced us to each other three years ago is also the same one who made me realize the kind of man you really are." Angela shrugged. "I\'m not mad at her, to be honest. In fact, I\'m thankful."
He let out a frustrated sigh as he clenched and unclenched his hand. "Angela, whatever she said… I… It\'s not true—"
"So you didn\'t say those words?" she interrupted in a flat tone, her eyes unyielding and her stern expression displaying that she wasn\'t at all convinced.
"Shît." Running a tired hand down his face, his jaw tightened as he tried to think of the right words to say but failed. "I did, but it\'s not what you think—"
"Why? What am I thinking?" Her voice was so calm, yet he could tell that she was pissed with how sharp her glare was.
Gael shot up to his feet and took a deep breath. His heart was raging, and his body temperature was heating up. He loosened up his tie as he felt like he was being choked, and then he kept his hands on his waist as he coaxed himself to calm down.
He didn\'t know who he was mad at.
Becca? Maybe a little, but it wasn\'t her fault because he was the one who said those words, and his ex just happened to hear them.
Fûck! Why was it that whenever it involved Angela, he would always make mistakes? It was the same three years ago. And it was the same that time back on the island a few months ago.
The breeze was gentle, a contrast to his blazing heartbeat. Gael was so mad at himself that he could hear and feel his pulse in his ear. This was so fûcking annoying. If he could punch himself in the face right now, he would.
Turning around to face Angela, he saw her get out of the car as if she was ready to leave. He walked over to her and saw the way she had her arms across her stomach as if she was holding herself together. It pained him to see her like this.
"Angela…" he called, but she kept her gaze at the sandy ground.
\'Say it. Say it, you as*hole. She deserves an apology,\' he told himself.
Gael opened his mouth, but no words came out. He wanted to say he was sorry, but he knew that even if he said it, he could not take back those stupid words he said.
And so he closed his eyes for a brief second before he gazed at her and reached for her. Cupping the sides of her face with both hands, he breathed, "I\'m sorry. It\'s my fault."
Angela refused to look up, and she kept her stare at his chest.
"Angela, I was wrong," he said. "I only said that because I was mad at that time… But I swear to you, I didn\'t play with you."
A soft sigh escaped her lips before she looked up and met his grey eyes. "You know… After learning the truth about your real identity, I thought I was nuts to still be waiting for you. I told myself that I was looking for trouble. How stupid was I?"
She shook her head. "But it wasn\'t until I found out about what you said... what you did... that I realized that whatever your identity is, you\'re really just a jerk."
Then her stare hardened. "That\'s the thing, Gael. I can\'t tell when you\'re telling the truth or when you\'re acting… I can forgive you, but I can\'t trust you anymore. So whatever your reasons are why you\'re back here again, I don\'t want to be part of that."
Angela removed his hands from her. Then she walked away, leaving him standing still as he watched her go.