BXBX NOVEL Chapter 142 - TWENTY THREE: Between Us
Her bed was tiny. Way too tiny for two grown adults to be sharing.
Fortunately, however, after moving around a few old boxes, she was able to make enough room for one adult to lay comfortably on the floor. It was the perfect solution to avoid uncomfortable bed sharing.
So, why were they both crammed onto her tiny bed now?
"Sorry," Dash hissed in reply, obediently wiggling another inch away from Kel. "It seemed like you were having a bad dream, so I only wanted to help you calm down."
"Oh," Kel replied, awkwardly squirming even closer to the edge of the straw-stuffed mattress. "Sorry.. Did I wake you up?"
"Don\'t worry about that," Dash sighed, placing a reassuring hand on Kel\'s shoulder before adding quietly, "You don\'t need to be so afraid of me. I won\'t hurt you, you know."
"I\'m not afraid you\'ll hurt me," Kel whispered, her shoulders immediately jerking up to shrug off the sudden touch. "I.. just like sleeping alone is all."
"... Was it a bad dream?" Dash changed the subject as his hand slid back down onto the bed, his fingertips still barely touching Kel\'s back.
Nightmares weren\'t uncommon for Kel these days. The last time she could recall having more peaceful nights than not was before leaving Mevani on that ill-fated mission.
At first, Dash and the Dragon Emperor had been the villains haunting her sleep, and then Soren had taken over that role. But lately, it was always eyes disturbing her dreams. Endless pairs of soulless eyes, staring right through her into some endless abyss beyond.
Some nights were worse than others, but Kel was beginning to grow accustomed to the unpleasant dreams.
But, all this time, had she been so restless during the night as to disturb Nesta and Harrow\'s sleep as well?
The old couple had never said anything about it, so she hoped the answer was no.
"It wasn\'t too bad," Kel lied, wincing as the terrifying eyes appeared in her mind.
The most unsettling part was how painfully familiar the lifeless stares were. They were the gazes of Barclay, Lila, Alaia, and countless others.
Would Kel ever be free of them?
"Why don\'t you stay here and I\'ll sleep on the floor," Kel suddenly blurted, too uncomfortable to lie still any longer.
She bolted up and swung her legs to the floor, adding in a mumble, "Since you\'re too much of a weakling to sleep there, apparently."
"Pffft."
Feeling a tug on her wrist, Kel whirled around to see Dash\'s grinning face.
Immediately, her mind was called back to one of the countless other times she\'d seen the same amused expression.
It was right after she\'d been appointed as Princess Adriell\'s body double. Since her first few days of etiquette lessons had been an utter disaster, she smuggled a pair of high-heeled shoes out of the palace to practice with at home.
Late at night, after Dash and Itzae had both gone to sleep, Kel carefully slid the fancy shoes on her feet and did her best to imitate the movements her tutor had shown her.
After stumbling for the umpteenth time, this time crashing gracelessly to the ground with an unladylike squawk, Kel had heard a muffled chuckle behind her.
Scrambling back to her feet, she blushed as Dash leaned against the wall, his body shaking with laughter.
"Come on, Kel," he\'d finally choked out, offering her a steadying hand. "I\'m sure you\'ll get the hang of it soon."
How strange.
The same hand that had once been a source of comfort now made her skin burn under its touch.
Was Dash right? Was she afraid of him?
Kel swallowed, looking away from Dash\'s bright gaze.
"Why are you smiling?" she whispered.
A soft sigh came from behind her.
"For a moment," Dash replied, "it felt like nothing had changed between us."
When Kel didn\'t respond, he added, "It made me happy."
Kel wasn\'t sure what to say. How foolish to say a bit of awkward teasing brought so much joy.
Foolish, yet Kel couldn\'t deny that even she had succumbed to blissful nostalgia of happier times with nothing more than a smile from Dash.
"Th-then you go back to the floor," she insisted, pulling her arm away.
She wasn\'t ready to have this conversation--to face everything between them.
"Kel," Dash lowered his voice, tightening his grip on her wrist. "Don\'t push me away."
"Let go," Kel gulped, prying her wrist out of his fingers.
"Kel, please," Dash pleaded, sitting up behind her. "Tease me again, and laugh with me. Don\'t push me away anymore."
"I…" Kel paused.
I don\'t want to.
Months ago, she wouldn\'t have hesitated to spit those words back at Dash\'s plea to return to normal. How could he ever hope to restore the relationship he\'d damaged so badly?
Lately, though, her heart didn\'t feel so bitter when she was near Dash. She certainly didn\'t feel at ease, but she also didn\'t feel as if she\'d burst from the hate burning inside her veins.
The bedframe creaked as Dash slowly slid closer to Kel. "You don\'t have to say anything right n-"
"I\'m going to sleep on the floor," Kel announced sternly, jumping to her feet.
She didn\'t hate Dash, but she wasn\'t ready to say she could forgive him. At least for tonight, she didn\'t want to listen to him any longer.
"... I understand," Dash conceded, retreating backward. "I won\'t bring it up anymore so come back to bed, ok?"
Kel glanced between her empty place on the bed and Dash busy making himself comfortable again on the other side.
She also didn\'t want the strange air between them to last any longer. More than anything, she didn\'t want to feel so alone anymore--like she might lose her mind at any moment if she let her guard down.
She couldn\'t say she had forgiven Dash for what he\'d done.
But maybe, she could take one tiny step closer.
"Goodnight, Dash," she breathed, slowly lowering herself back down onto the mattress.