Chapter 328
Once again, divinity enveloped my white, dry hands. The butterflies formed a circle around my hands, protecting me as though they had been waiting to do so.
Divinity swirled around Rusbella’s hand before she thrusted it forward like gust. In its flight, the bolt of lightning expanded even more.
If I got hit by that, my body would be flung back.
The diary fluttered open before light burst out of it. A voice appeared out of nowhere as though reminding me that I should not ask for help again.
“When you wish to use your power, pray for it desperately.”
Whose god’s powers was I using now? Who was I? I was a Templar of Death and a Templar of the Lord.
But I was still never good enough. What was the difference between us?
What was I lacking?
‘I… have just been building up my divinity all this time.’
I was not using my powers. I might be using a portion of it but not all of it. My powers were like a lake out of which I could only pump out some–enough to put out a wildfire.
Abilities were like the ice Pontus would conjure and the earth and plants Amor would shake and summon. I needed to get closer to the gods residing within me. And pray desperately.
“Let’s see this to the end. This cursed relationship!”
A blinding lightning bolt appeared right in front of me. Crackle. A pillar crumbled apart. The wood around us caught on fire and the ground looked charred. The lightning turned everything black. To think that lightning was striking my bare body was insane.
One by one, my fingers were scorched as they burned. My wrist, elbows and forearm. But a little, just a little more.
“You’re set on dying, aren’t you?”
“No.”
Finally, I grabbed Rusbella’s arm and smiled. The hands that made it past her lightning were charred black.
“You, don’t have the Power of Death, do you?”
A sprout grew from Amor’s bracelet and wrapped around my waist. I could wield both powers. In other words, I could use the Power of Telus through the artefact Amor had left me.
The Power of Death granted me immortality and the skin of my arm where purple butterflies surrounded had turned anew once they disappeared.
“Unlike me, you have neither the ability to recover nor immortality.”
We were different. I whispered before clenching my fist.
“Ever since we met, I’ve always wanted to give you a solid punch.”
Bang.
A massive burst of divinity struck the shield protecting Rusbella. I trudged through the dust that billowed as a result of our battle.
“Get up. Let’s end this ill-fated relationship.”
Crumple. Rusbella was sitting in the middle of the shards of her shield like a bird that just hatched from her egg. The shards of her shield that had scattered about her like glass fragments faded into smoke.
“Huhuhu congratulations. So, you’ve figured out a way to wield your divinity.”
She pulled her chest up. When she raised her head, I stiffened.
“H-Hold on, what’s going on with your body?”
Did the body that just fell onto the ground look that much like a doll? There were cracks on her body and her figure was becoming disfigured. Her face would often appear before blurring again. It reminded me of Hernan’s final moments.
“One body cannot house two souls. With your awakening, the diary and I were meant to disappear…”
Her eyelids blinked like candles that were just about to be extinguished.
“Thanks to your foolish attachment to your previous world, we managed to stay here a little longer. My physicality was terrible because I am an incomplete body.”
She then looked over at me before bursting out into laughter.
“So, why do you look like that? Shouldn’t you be happy?”
Her laughter soon died down before she twisted her expression with abhor.
“I was never meant to be in this world from the start.”
“…..”
“Hurry, rejoice at my downfall. Do it!”
Rubella tilted her head.
“Don’t tell me, do you pity me?”
“…..”
I wondered what expression I was wearing. As I watched the downfall of the woman who brought me here.
“Don’t look at me like that!”
All I could see from her was anger, confusion and anguish as though she had fallen into the depths of hell. Still, this was a sad day for Rusbella.
“I hate you! I really do hate you! Why? Why? You’re alive. I should be dead, why!”
“… I hate you too.”
Countless people had died. I parted my heavy lips.
“But I wouldn’t be happy to see someone die.”
“…..”
“I… wouldn’t be happy to see anyone die.”
There was no punishment lonelier than death. After being worn from her loneliness, the expression on her face after being finally freed did not look like that of relief.
“Ha… Haha… Even though I said I wasn’t originally meant to be here… And now, you’re telling me that you’re going to die.”
She was merely disappearing. I whispered.
“Go back.”
“To where?”
“To Walter.”
She stared back at me blankly for a moment. Soon, her empty and despondent smile filled her blank expression.
“I was destined to disappear the moment I face you again anyways. So, that’ll be impossible. I had never made this body that resilient in the first palace.”
“… So, you came to me, knowing that you were going to die?”
The smile she then flashed was the kidnest I had ever seen from her.
“Of course, I wasn’t planning on dying now. I was planning on staying in Walter a little longer before finding him during my last moments.”
Her golden eyes were tinged with regret. I could clearly see what was held in his eyes.
“Rusbella, Slorenian…”
“Look, Ashley.”
Her weakly-opened eyes sparkled with gold.
“I can’t tell the difference between love and hate.”
The haze rising inside her eyes gleamed menacingly.
“I was once someone who knew what love felt like and what it was like to have your heart flutter. But since a long time ago now, I could no longer tell whether I love or hate him.”
“… Why have you changed so much?”
“The endless hell. Something more frightening than that… were the pair of eyes that stared back at me as though they knew nothing.”
“…..”
“And that’s how I went mad.”
Rusbella’s eyes looked dry.
“I loved him but hated him at the same time. I might have showered him with my affection, but I hated him enough to want to kill him. Before I knew it, any sense of normalcy disappeared and only madness remained. I have become a monster that couldn’t feel anything.”
The monster confessed calmly, revealing her madness without trying to hide it.
“I wanted to be happy but this land is the reason for my unhappiness, isn’t it? That’s why I need to destroy it.”
“To find your happiness, you should have found another way around it, not destruction.”
“Are you boasting to me now that you’ve changed the future?”
“No. I am merely saying that I feel sorry for you for giving your body up for this destruction.”
“…..”
“Why would you arrogantly decide to destroy everything when there could have been another chance?”
After being worn down time and time again, her eyes had dried. The love of a man with golden eyes was rotten. Auresia’s words crossed my mind.
“Your love has become twisted and rotten. Is it love to drive your lover to his limits, forcing him to start a war involving innocent lives and to throw everything away?”
“…..”
I never liked Rusbella for bringing me the diary. I still hated her. I resented her, I hated her with bitterness. Because she was the one who brought me into this world. The complex mix of emotions in my heart fluctuated like the tides.
“Why! Why are you pitying me when I look like this?”
Seeing her collapsed like that had shattered my reasoning. I hated her. The thought that so many innocents had died because of her was unbearable. Still, still. Nonetheless…
“You sinned. To me and to many other people.”
“…..”
“Atone for your sins after your death. You shall repent. You will regret and ask for everybody’s forgiveness.”
“Stop wishing for the impossible.”
“… And believe that your love, really was love. And in turn, I shall remember the times when you were once powerless, the times before you had gone mad… So, repent. Please atone, Rusbella. Because of you, so many had died.”
“…..”
Rusbella, who was staring at me, soon smiled like a blur. She looked a little troubled as though she didn’t know how to respond.
“That’s sweet. Of you to do.”
She really did look troubled.
“This is why you often find yourself exploited by fate or other villains like me.”
The novel, the <Light of Rusbella>, which she had deceived me about, was not a story but a record of a time that no longer existed.
“You’ve gone through fewer regressions than I had but I don’t think the bog you fell into was much different from mine.”
If that was the case, was she once a bright and sweet girl like the female lead of the story?
Right. She must have been.
“Ashley.”
I wanted to believe that she was.
“That’s your name.”
“No, I’m Rusbella.”
She pressed her lips together.
“I’m Rusbella.”
She shook her head before emphasising.
“Even though we have the same name, we are different. You’ve changed your fate. I have lost and am soon going to disappear.”
A cold, smooth hand brushed against my cheek.
“Did it change because you didn’t choose to go down the same path as I did?”
The cheek with the scar.
“I’m sorry.’
“…..”
“I meant it when I said that I would have been happy to be friends with you. Always… because I was lonely…”
Rusbella murmured drily, as dry sand in the desert.
“I envy you for pioneering your fate even now.”
The woman whose tears had dried up eventually withered away slowly like an old tree that was blooming its last flower.
I knelt down before laying her on my lap. As her face turned paler, her eyes widened.
“Cough, I guess my time has come.”
“Your blood…”
“It’s alright. This body is a fake and it’s merely expiring.”
She felt the area around her heart before slowly grabbing my hand. Her bloodstained hand intertwined with mine with something hard within our palms. It was a dagger.
“This is my way of expressing my last apology.”
She had pulled a dagger out from her chest before holding it out to me.
“… A blade?”
A blade that had a dangerous glint to it.
“Stab Castor with this. Stab it while thinking about what you desire.”
“What I desire…”
“Death or eternal pain.”
She clasped my hand before making me hold the blade.
“Your power, my power and the power of those who reside within you… the ones, the ones who loved you. If we all come together, nothing is impossible. At least I think so.”
Rusbella, whose heart was now empty, mustered the last of her strength to smile.
“If he is a god, you just have to become someone who can go up against him.”
Soon, her half-closed eyes lost focus and began staring into space.
“You know, If parts of our soul had mixed together in your blood, wouldn’t that make us sisters?”
Her breath gradually slowed.
“You would never admit to it but I can think we are. That way, I won’t feel lonely on my last trip. But this was still the end I wished for. So, rejoice in my death.”
“… I cannot be happy with someone’s death.”
“That’s funny to hear. Please… don’t turn out like… me.”
Then, her hands slipped off mine.
Her body dissipated into dazzling orbs of light. When I opened my eyes again, there was nothing. My hands were soaked in blood and there was residual warmth on my knees.
Only a white dagger laid by my side.
All that was left was drops of blood that could not be tears.
The empty palace. Another gust of cold wind blew in the palace and I was left alone in the garden once again.
Chime. I wondered why I could hear a bell ringing from somewhere.
***
How long had it been? I raised my head to look about and looked up at the sky.
‘Something doesn’t feel right.’
It was something very small but I noticed something.
“Why… isn’t the moon moving?”
It had been hours since Rusbella died. My body had recovered and I thought for it to be only natural for the moon and the stars to be moving towards the morning. But the moon didn’t move even though I waited.
“… Why?”
I muttered in bewilderment before standing up with a start. A sky without wind. The stillness in the air. A space where I could feel no movements. Alas, time did not seem to be passing.
‘Time has stopped.’
Has the world stopped? Or did it stop only for me? I didn’t know.
Was it through sheer willpower or because I was walking along the borders of madness was I able to remain this calm right now? I wasn’t surprised. Why? Wasn’t there only one person who could create a night like this?
But frustratingly enough, the sky was not moving. Time had stopped. This had become an eternal night where the moon would never set. The night was pitch black and any signs of sunlight was nowhere to be seen across the sky.
With the full moon embroidered into the sky, a man who had been staring at the moon, as they stood in front of the palace, slowly looked down.
“So, the moon is beautiful.”
“…..”
“Isn’t it so? My Ashley?”
So this was the stage that Castor had prepared.