BXBX NOVEL Chapter 63 - Call to Home (1)
Chapter 63 | Call to Home (1)
* * *
*
[Rienne] “……I don’t hate the idea.”
Her heart was not divided on this issue. It was a conclusion she had come to a long time ago. Even if she did not deserve to love the last prince of the Gainers royal family, Rienne already decided she would.
And for that sake, she would keep this truth to herself for the rest of her life.
[Rienne] “So don’t push me away. I don’t like that.”
[Black] “Two.”
[Rienne] “You don’t need to count.”
[Black] “I told you to think carefully.”
[Rienne] “And I have. So you don’t have to keep counting.”
[Black] “…..Three…..”
The moment she saw Black start to say the number three, Rienne stood up on her tippy-toes, covering his mouth with her hand. It was the same hand that was wrapped tightly in a thick bandage.
[Rienne] “Don’t count.”
When he looked down at her, Rienne was clearly reflected in his blue eyes, his emotions pouring down on her like flowing water.
[Rienne] “For the longest time, I didn’t know what I wanted or didn’t want. Mostly I wished for what any ruler of Nauk would. The end of the drought.”
Her heart was aching, but now she knew why.
She wanted this man in front of her to stay by her side.
[Rienne] “But now I know. I know what I want. As myself, Rienne Arsak, not the ruler of Nauk.”
[Black] “……And what is that?”
Black reached up, removing Rienne’s hand from covering his mouth as he asked.
[Rienne] “I want to stay with you. And I want to get married.”
Just then, Black tightly clasped Rienne’s bandaged hand as he faced her. Feeling a sharp pain in her cut palm, Rienne slightly winced.
[Black] “The thing that really gets me about you, Princess…..”
But rather than tell him she was in pain, Rienne swallowed back those words. There had to be a reason why she needed to feel hurt right now.
[Black] “……is that I still don’t know. Other people have the luxury of just accepting lies when it’s convenient, no matter how obvious they are…….but I get so angry when I think that those words that drive me crazy might actually be a lie. So if you were planning on lying to me, couldn’t you have done a better job? Lie so that I’ll never figure it out.”
[Rienne] “I’m not lying.”
[Black] “But I guess it doesn’t matter now.”
Black bit his lip.
[Black] “I told you. I’d only give you one chance. Whether or not it’s a lie that you don’t hate the idea of marrying me, you will be my wife, Princess. No matter what you do, that will not change.”
[Rienne] “I….I want that, too.”
But Black didn’t seem to believe it, just quietly letting go of her hand.
[Black] “Like I said before, your hand will hurt. And while it does, I want you to think about why. After it heals, I won’t allow you to get hurt in the same way again.”
[Rienne
] “Lord Tiwakan……”[Black] “Rest. I’ll come back once my head’s cooled down.”
Slam—!
And before she could stop him for a second time, Black left without another word, quickly opening the door and leaving the bedroom as he slammed it behind him.
Besides, Rienne didn’t have the courage to stop him again.
[Rienne] “……He’s right.”
Rienne pressed her other hand against her palm, feeling the pain start to spread. She couldn’t feel it before, so it felt like it was hitting her all at once.
[Rienne] “If I’m going to pretend, then I need to do it better.”
The truth she was keeping inside. Pretending she didn’t know anything about the past.
[Rienne] “I can do it.”
Rienne closed her eyes, whispering to herself. Holding onto her palm, blood started to seep through her pure white bandage.
*
* * *
*
[Black] “This is clearly your fault.”
Bang—!
Phermos swallowed hard, casting his gaze towards the chair crushed right before his eyes.
He offered it to Black as a place to sit, but he just kicked it across the room, as if he was telling Phermos not to play around. Looking at the ruined chair made obvious Black’s foul mood, even if he wasn’t showing it on his face.
[Phermos] “My apologies, my Lord. Even if I had ten mouths, I have no excuses.”
If that same kick were to be geared towards his knee instead of the chair, he’d have to carry a cane for the rest of his life, he was sure.
Even thinking about it made the sensation of chills run down his back.
[Phermos] “I…..didn’t think she would wander around the castle while knowing she needed to hide her identity. But I’m not making excuses.”
It sounded like an excuse, but it was true.
Though they had freed Mrs. Henton from her indentured servitude to the Kleinfelders, her status hadn’t been restored. The name ‘Henton’ was still taboo, too—such would be the case until all six families were dealt with.
Mrs. Henton knew that truth better than anyone.
And yet, against any sane person’s better judgement, she wandered around the castle, which was something Phermos’ hadn’t anticipated.
The Tiwakan had given her the room at the top of the northern tower, and presently it was considered one of the safest locations in all of Nauk. But Mrs. Henton took the safety they had given her and kicked it right back with her foot.
After the incident, they escorted her back to her room, and Phermos left a mercenary stationed there to watch over her.
[Black] “…….Did she tell the Princess my name?”
Phermos shook his head.
[Phermos] “I don’t think so. I asked her several times, but the answer was always the same. I don’t think she’s lying, but……”
[Black] “But?”
[Phermos] “I think the servant may have told the Princess something, though she denies ever having met him.”
[Black] “……That must be the reason.”
Black swept a nervous hand through his hair.
[Black] “We’re drifting apart again.”
Crossing his arms, Black grumbled in anger and frustration. He was leaning against Phermos’ desk, crumbling and crushing all the documents that were beneath him as he did.
Phermos could swear this was the first time he’d seen Black in such an irritated and perturbed mood.
[Black] “Tch……”
But seeing the incarnation of war itself get so frustrated over his problems with……a woman of all things? That felt a bit…..
[Phermos
] “Will this cause any delay in the marriage arrangements?”[Black] “No. That won’t ever happen.”
[Phermos] “So you’ve already come to an agreement with the Princess?”
[Black] “She said she wanted to get married……though I don’t believe her.”
[Phermos] “I see.”
So that’s why he was in such an awful mood right now.
[Phermos] “But…I think it may be true.”
Quietly fiddling with his monocle, Phermos spoke clearly and plainly. Cocking his head, Black turned to him.
[Black] “What do you know?”
[Phermos] “The Princess said that her reason for wishing to spare the servant was because of you, my Lord. She didn’t say much else on the matter, but I think she meant it sincerely when she said she was thinking of you.”
[Black] “If she knew my name, things would be different. Even if she wanted to be sincere with me, she wouldn’t be able to.”
[Phermos] “And is that because…..um, your families are intertwined with a grudge?”
Deciding to take a little bit of a chance, Phermos rolled the dice and asked a very telling question.
Black obviously didn’t want to talk about his past, but it was hard to ignore all of the clues that were presenting themselves to him so clearly. And with the appearance of someone like Mrs. Henton, it was only a matter of time before he found things out.
Phermos’ mind worked too much like a machine to not piece together the information he was gathering to form a more complete story.
[Black] “They were involved in my family’s death.”
[Phermos] “Oh, I see…..”
By now, Phermos felt like he knew what Black’s name was.
Gainers.
According to the royal records, that name existed as the royal house before the Arsaks. And within those missing records from twenty years ago, was the secret as to why the royal name was passed from the Gainerses to the Arsaks.
But based on the fact that the records were missing at all, it was clear the full truth wasn’t a very pretty one. If it was anything to be proud of, the records would never have been tampered with.
Speaking with the servant, Klimah, Princess Rienne must’ve discovered the ugly truth.
If his mother knew the whole truth, then the servant certainly did as well. When he kidnapped Rienne, he must’ve told her something, but even so, Rienne still decided to try and save his life.
So…in truth, Phermos didn’t understand what his Lord and the Princess were doing at all. (1)
Taking into account everything, it was obvious Princess Rienne was truly trying to be sincere to his Lord. If the Princess was bound by this past grudge, she would be more likely to try and kill the servant to conceal the truth rather than spare his life.
[Phermos] “Does that not matter to you?”
[Black] “I said they were involved, but I didn’t say I was resentful about it.”
[Phermos] “So, you hold no grudge?”
[Black] “I told you this before. I want to keep what’s mine. If I held any kind of resentment about things, this wouldn’t be a matter of trying to take things back.”
To destroy something utterly, whilst coating it in a sea of blood.
Something like that would be child’s play for the leader of the Tiwakan. Phermos couldn’t entirely relate to Black’s sentiment, but he could at least understand that it wasn’t any kind of grudge that was moving him forward now.
[Phermos] “Then, would things not be the same for the Princess? Grudge or not, it’s entirely possible for her to still be sincere. Isn’t that how relationships between men and women tend to work?”
[Black] “No….It’s not possible.”
[Phermos] “What makes you so certain?”
[Black] “Someone who’s sincere wouldn’t tear apart clothing meant for a wedding. All while not noticing how hurt she was getting.”
[Phermos] “Oh, I see……Then I spoke out of turn, my Lord.”
Considering the possibility, Phermos tried to nod, but then quickly kept still after taking a step back. Beyond the glass lens of his monocle, it was clear that Black’s already harsh and grimaced expression was becoming more angered.
If ever there was a time for him to watch his words, it was now. If he didn’t, he’d be crying while preparing his walking cane this time tomorrow.
[Phermos] “Then…..what will you do? The wedding ceremony is…..”
[Black
] “Proceed with it as planned.”[Phermos] “Did the Princess agree to that?”
[Black] “So she said.”
But right after he said that, he quietly added on with a bitter voice.
[Black] “But I don’t believe her.”
[Phermos] “……….Still, you never know. The human heart is inherently complicated. As time goes on, perhaps even the Princess may be able to move past the idea resentment for the dead.”
[Black] “……I just have to wait longer.”
But there was a problem.
Black was starting to lose what little patience he had.
The bigger his expectations grew, the harder it was becoming to control his body.
Even now, when he closed his eyes, he could remember Rienne’s scent lingering at the tip of his nose. And whenever she was in front of him, it was a miracle he could keep his hands from moving when all he wanted to do was hold her.
[Black] “First, find the servant. I need to know what he said to her.”
[Phermos] “Understood.”
[Black] “And try not to mess him up. He’ll come quietly once he knows we have his mother.”
[Phermos] “Very well.”
[Black] “Bring Manau, too. We’ll need him for the council meeting.”
Manau was the old beggar from the front of the Temple. But Phermos didn’t know that, pushing up his monocle as he tilted his head.
[Phermos] “I’m sorry, who?”
Black glanced at Phermos with a face that seemed to express he thought what he was saying was obvious.
[Black] “He was the High Priest from twenty years ago.”
[Phermos] “The High Priest……? But I thought Nauk’s High Priest was a life-long position?”
And because it was a life-long position, that meant all High Priests besides the current one would be dead.
[Black] “That’s why he lives like a beggar. Hiding his identity with that foolish stutter of his.”
[Phermos] “Oh….Though that reminds me, my Lord. I have something I want to confirm with you.”
Phermos suddenly raised his voice.
[Phermos] “It’s a bit hard to pretend I don’t know anything when it’s all sitting so obviously in front of me. So should I proceed under the assumption that you were once a member of the Gainers royal house, my Lord?”
[Black] “I expected you would figure it out at some point. Though I’m surprised you didn’t know who Manau was.”
From Phermos’ perspective, it felt a little rude and unfair to hear that he ‘expected’ he would figure it out.
[Phermos] “If that’s the case, why couldn’t you have just said something to me earlier? It feels like you’re making me suffer on purpose.”
And after a quiet thought, Black’s answer came delayed.
[Black] “……I had no intention of letting anyone know. But I was caught off guard by names like Henton and Manau suddenly reappearing.”
That was the complete truth.
Besides trying to keep the past and his identity hidden, he never once lied to Rienne.
[Black] “I’m aware that my name would act as a call for blood, and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want Princess Rienne to know about it, and I still feel that way……No, I feel like that now more than ever.”
Black let out a drawn out and heavy sigh.
[Black] “I just wanted to take back what was mine. As much as I could.”
It had been over twenty years, and he wasn’t stupid enough to think reclaiming his position was possible. There was no place left for the Gainers name in Nauk and never again would he live as Prince Fernand. Nor did he want to live the life of a royal after all this time.
The reason why he wanted to get Nauk back was something else entirely. It was like an instinct calling him home—an instinct he couldn’t cut off as a boy, though he tried. After all, he was only human and all humans desired a place to return to.
But besides Nauk, he had no other place he could call a home.
And more than that, there was something from the past that remained with him, always sticking with him completely.
Though he was far from the same person he was back then, in his young eyes, his would-be-fiancée was like this mysterious and lovely figure—endlessly vague yet pulling him forth, as if she were drawing him into flight from his lone forest.
* * *
T/N: The title of this chapter is a phrase usually used in reference to birds, like carrier pigeons that are trained to return to a set point. No matter where they go, how far they travel, or how long they’re gone, they will always have some kind of instinct that calls them to return ‘home’, so to speak. That’s the turn of phrase that Black uses to describe his feelings.